I can only imagine…

____________________________________________________________________________________________

I wrote this post back in August of 2006. Sitting here, reading it again, I can’t describe the feelings of joy mixed with heartbreak.  I so very much miss her little broken body.  But then I remember the words that I wrote in this post and realize that my life long prayer for my sweetly broken Emma Grace came true on April 22, 2011 & I cry happy tears.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

When I first saw this video- It touched me deeply.


 
I sit here in tears watching it again. I often wonder what Emma will do when she sees the other side of those pearly gates. I often wonder how she will react to seeing our Savior. I imagine her running up to him, crawling up into his lap and saying “Daddy, Im Home!” I imagine her skipping down the streets of gold, running without hesitation. Talking without limitations. Singing without reservation. A body with no disabilities…. I cant tell you what that does for my soul.

I long for the day my daughter doesnt wave her hands in the air with no control. I long for the day that her mind has complete control over her body. I long for the day that she is truly healed- body spirit and mind. My heart cries for that daily.

While she is here, I will be her voice. I will be her comfort. I will be her protector. I gave her my word on the day she was born that I would do everything in my power to make sure her life was a life of quality, hope and most of all love. I promised to love her unconditioanlly, despite the pain this journey would be for our family. I looked into her baby blue eyes, and gave her my word. I will make good on that promise as long as there is breath in me.

I may never see the moment Emma is healed, it may not happen on this side of heaven- But I can only imagine what a celebration it will be, the day Christ heals my child- either here on earth, or on the other side of those gates! Until that day comes, I will praise Him for His promise to her.

Then His light will break out like the dawn,
And Her recovery will speedily spring forth;
And His righteousness will go before her;
The glory of the LORD will be Her rear guard.
 

Isaiah 58:8
 

Italics added by me
emmagrey.png

Sweetly Broken

healing-broken-heart

In church last Saturday night, Easton lead the song “Sweetly Broken” by Jeremy Riddle.  The words really spoke deeply to my heart, and got me to think about what it means to truly have a broken heart, but more importantly what it means to be completely surrendered to Gods justice and sovereignty. He is faithful to do just what He says He will do... what He came here to do.  In our culture, our pain is most always someone else’s fault.  Someone else inflicted pain on our hearts.  But if you think about it, we were born into a sin filled world… a world full of pain and heartache.  It wasn’t in Gods plan to have a world that hated everything that was good, including Him.  He created a world full of life, happiness... prosperity.

People often ask me how a God that is suppose to be loving could take something so precious from me.  How I can believe in a God that would inflict so much pain on my families lives.  My first and only response is “If you change your perspective, and look at it differently you will realize that we are owed nothing, therefore my God saved me from my ultimate demise…. and healed my broken heart.” What I mean by that is this simple fact.  We are owed nothing.   Yet Christ in his sovereignty came here to die and rid us of our ultimate demise- an eternity spent with out Him.  Without that simple act of love, my broken heart would never heal.

The first line of this song reminded me of what my broken heart meant, and how it wasn’t about me.  It is about my eternal purpose to praise Him, even through my pain. 

So to answer the question “Does God Heal Broken Hearts”: Yes, He does, but most times it is not in the way we ask, in the time we allot or in the way we expect.  God is a loving God, but remember.. He is also sovereign,  you can trust Him to finish the work that He began in you!

     Sweetly Broken – Jeremy Riddle

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing

For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified

You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled

In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness

 

 

New Life…

new life

                                                                                                                                                                ~My Dear Friend, Esty Loving   Taking a break, breathing in the fresh air around me.... did wonders for my perspective and my … [Continue reading]

bruised…but not broken

front-door

It has been many moons since I last wrote on this blog. Nothing really major as happened, life moved on its normal course through the summer. I held a stiff upper lip through the births of friends babies, while silently screaming crying that life is just not fair. I would be lying if I said that … [Continue reading]