You whom I love….

June 26, 2009

It is one thing to think that Christ loves us with an unconditional love, but do we love him unconditionally in return? That is a tough question for even the most devout Christians. It digs at the heart of the flesh and reminds us that we are what we are because of who He is.

Do we really believe that he is Sovereign? Do we really trust Him wholeheartedly? Do we really love Him despite of our circumstances and trials. Those are questions that I have been asking myself lately. Those are the questions that, honestly, I had to stop and really think about… not because I didn’t know the “answer” but because I didn’t “know” the answer. Most Christians have head knowledge, they know the right answers to all of the questions, and do not stop to ponder those questions any deeper.

Why do we do that?

Our family has been through so much, yet He has been faithful to provide strength and joy despite the trials that are placed in front of us. I can not tell you how many times Mark and I look back and say “Now we know why we went through that, it was to prepare us for this.” But (and that is a really BIG but!) when you are going through it, at least when we were going through it, it sucked. It was hard. It was discouraging.

It felt like the end.

My dad preached a great sermon last Sunday on this very topic. He gave an analogy of a string of pearls, and how, if you look back on the circumstances of your life and string them all up like a string of pearls - when you go through a new trial, you can go back and touch every pearl and say “This trial was preparing me for now.”

“All that befalls us on our road to heaven
is meant to fit us for the journey’s end”

I love that quote by Charles Spurgeon. It speaks volumes to the Christian life, and how we as believers don’t have to worry about our circumstances. That doesn’t mean that we won’t, it just means that we don’t HAVE to.

All we have to do is trust.

Trust that He is doing what He promised he would do. Trust that He is working everything out for our ETERNAL good.

Trust Him Unconditionally… Undeniably… Unknowingly.

Trust, so that when the big things happen in our lives, (sure there will be fear and anxiety) we will not have to question who we can run to. We will not have to question who holds our future and our hearts.

We can run straight into the arms of our Savior.

Do you have a string of pearls in your life, or do you have a choker of leather?

Its all in how you look at your circumstances….I choose to look at them with awe and admiration of how my God is truly sovereign. He is truly working everything out for my good. And no matter what happens to me in this life, this truly ends well for me.

Truly.

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The Ugly Side Of The Interweb….

June 12, 2009

I have been a blogger for a pretty long time. I have witnessed the Kaycee Nicole Scam, The Pepe/Gina CF Scam and now the April Rose debacle.

I have seen the ugly side of blogging, more than I care to mention.

But what keeps me coming back? What keeps me from throwing in the towel, closing my website down and moving to Alaska where nobody knows me?

That’s easy… The great side of the interweb.

The supportive side of all of the christian and non christian blogger’s who I have come to know online (and some off). The caring individuals who helped raise money for my trip to Mayo. The countless people who prayed for me during and after my surgery.

I have seen the interweb come together for Kelli and the money we all raised for her, thanks again because of Boomama.

I have witnessed more good than evil, even in my own personal drama on the web… I came out a better person because of it.

I balance my online life with reality. I do not place all of my self worth on what this blog (or its readers) think about me as a person. I write when I want to write, and when I dont… I dont.

In other words.. I have tried to balance that life with the popularity that this blog brought me.

If the interweb has taught me anything in the last 7+ years that I have been on it… it would be Guard your heart and put on your thick skin, because there are people out there who would love nothing more than to tear you apart. There are those out there who will prey on your sympathy, compassion and good nature.

But there are also those who are geniune, loving and truly in need. There are those who are really hurting. Do I wish I had never been invested in any of the scams listed above?

Absolutely Not.

Each of them taught me a valuable lesson. Each of them brought together people who prayed like there was no tomorrow.

Each of them needed our prayers.

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