There is a certain circumstance in my life right now that has me baffled. Have you ever found yourself in one of those situations- where you know what the best outcome is, but its not the outcome you see happening? For me, right now, the “correct” outcome is so obvious. The situation is very black and white- yet the circumstances are leaning in a total opposite direction of where “I” would have them go.
Its hard for me to look back at the situation and place it completely in Christs hands. I was hurt, I was mislead, and most of all I was lied about. I carried the bitterness of this situation with me for almost 2 years. I sometimes still find myself focusing on it, mulling it over, trying to digest it and make some sense with it. I know I made the right decisions, because those closest to me, those real friends that I have been speaking about, they would tell me if I hadnt. So why did the chips fall the way they did. Why are they continuing to fall the way they are? I know the truth, many people do- yet the lies still seem to overshadow reality.
Im struggling with this very hard tonight. I am struggling with the hurt it is causing someone that I have come to care deeply about, and most of all I am struggling with God on the “why”. Its hard to trust when you silently watch things play out in full manipulation. Its hard to sit back and trust that He knows whats best, even if it is not what “I” feel is best. Its hard to remember that I am not in control.
I know that in the end, the truth will overpower the darkness that the situation has pour’d over so many lives. I pray for my friend, and her family. I pray for the person causing the pain. I pray for my heart and my mistrust.
I am thankful for the peace that has been given to me, even when it seems I want to dwell in the pain. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned along the way. I am thankful for the relationships that have been cultivated amidst this horrible time.
Most of all, I am thankful that I can be real with my God and ask “why”…. and know that even if He doesnt answer me, He hears me. I am very thankful for that.
Being able to just groan in prayer, unable to understand or speak, to the God who knows and understands is what holds me together too in those painful, confusing times. Great song choice for this post. But I will misss Held… I need to go buy it…
Hey! First let me say that I absolutely love you blog! It is beautiful and very inviting.
This post really touched me. It is really hard to let go of a situation and let God handle it. But prayer changes things. We just have to trust Him and what He has planned for our lives.
I’m with Lori…I love your blog and it is a great song! “I will praise you in the storm.”
But He does hear your prayers and will answer in His time. The hard part is waiting.
Thanks so much for coming by and introducing yourself. Look forward to your first MM.
You said it all…….and I will be back and Thank You for your comment and introducing yourself. Looking forward to reading where He takes you…..becky
We all struggle, Heather. But God is there for every “why”, for every doubt, every question, for every time we stumble and fall. You have visited my blog enough to know I have a hard time with that “I know I’m in control” issue, and how I am sooo not in control. We can only have faith when we put our trust in God. It may not play out how we think it should, or even how we want it to. But, He will always be there.
Hey Heather! I want to thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. You have a beautiful blog! Thanks for sharing your most intimate and personal thoughts and feelings. Pretty gutsy! Your posts encourage me to keep pressing on and trusting Jesus. Deut. 33:26-27
A situation like this is a true test of your faith. You are handling it with grace.
A wedding planner? Were you really a WEDDING PLANNER?! Aha! Ok. So I did have one little question…..just kidding. But I’m not gonna forget you were a wedding planner.
Barb, LOL yes I did plan weddings up until January
Any questions, feel free to ask!
I find your blog through christian woman online blog ring. I just read through your families story. I can tell God is doing big things in your life. Even through the pain. Thanks for being real and thanks for sharing. Blessing on you and your family as you seek to serve Him Voni
Sometimes asking “why” is one of the hardest questions we have of God and yet is always come through. Unfortunately for us, it never seems to happen on our time schedule
I think you might enjoy reading this post from a friend of mine. She started starting writing for Lisa Welchel’s website.
If you have time read her post titled “Reunited” at http://www.inthemidstofit.blogspot.com it’s awesome.
Thanks for stopping by my blog! T-Lo