First and foremost- thank you so much for all of your comments. I was blown away just now by reading all of them. I cant tell you how much they mean to me and my family. I totally and completely believe that Christ has His hands wrapped firmly around our family, and He has carried us and will continue to carry us. I have no doubt about that.
First the Neurosurgery appointment. Dr. Cassidy was very straight forward, which I am very thankful for. The tumor is in my front left lobe, it is quite large, and it is inoperable due to the fact that it is not “well formed” and is “entangled” with normal brain tissue. He was very optimistic yet cautious. He told us that if he were to choose a brain tumor, this would be his choice. It is a lower-mid grade tumor, which I am still trying to understand. He said that brain tumors aren’t classified as “cancer” because they do not spread, but there is a high possibility that it is malignant (still trying to understand that). We talked about treatment- he stated that because it is inoperable, he wants to do a brain biopsy next week. The results of that will tell us our next step. If they come back malignant then we will proceed to radiation. When we asked about “life span” he obviously said he couldn’t give us a definite, but that radiation would “double” my prognosis- he said that the average without treatment is 10 years- with treatment is 20 years. But then again, look at my Emma Grace- I tend to not believe averages.
We talked about my dizziness and how he didn’t believe that it was associated with my tumor. He sent me to an ENT specialist at 4pm. Dr. Silverstein does believe that it is related to my tumor, and has prescribed Ativan to make the world stop spinning. I have more tests with him tomorrow afternoon (3pm) to narrow (and nail) this all down.
I have an EEG scheduled for in the morning (8am). Dr. Cassidy wants to rule out the possibility of small seizures due to the location of my tumor (which would also explain the dizziness). Please pray for this test- for some reason it is really stressing me out.
Some people would look at the events of the last 24 hours in my life and think “she must have done something really horrible to deserve all of this”.. My answer to that- You don’t know my God. He is the God of Job, He is the God of Abraham, and His love for me and my family is unwavering. I believe what Satan intends for my harm- God will use for His glory I firmly believe that when I walk out of the other side of this, despite the location I find myself in, I will have been blessed and will have blessed so many lives. I read your comments to me, and am amazed that this “bend in the road” has had the ability to bring forth such a Growling of prayer at the feet of Christ. I am amazed. I will walk through this with the love and and friendship of my family and friends- I am not alone.
Be it cancer, radiation, or whatever else life throws my way- I will walk through it.
I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out; plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jeremiah 29:11
Now on to phase 2 – biopsy and radiation. I can do this…
This song always gets me.
Thank you so much for the update. It sounds like you have an amazing Dr.
Praying for you and your family!
By the way, I thought of something else today. My Bible teacher once told me at a church we used to go to: “If the devil isn’t on your heels, you probably aren’t any threat to him.”
That made me laugh. You just decided to take your kids out of school, bring them home, and give them a Christian education. You fought against all odds to raise a wonderful Emma – despite all odds and negative doctors. Her smile and the way she thrives in your home is testament to your FAITH.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK.
Stand up, Gidion, MIGHTY WARRIOR. The Lord has GIVEN YOU this battle.
The devil is obviously WORRIED about you. MAY THE LORD REBUKE HIM. Amen.
Also… you have a lot of prayer comments on my post about you… and on the HSBA site!
Hey – you wanted some comments!
You got em!
I am lifting your family in prayer before our God and know that He is in control. What a blessing to be in His hands at this time! Your faith is so evident and I am once again inspired by it! You are such a blessing to so many and I, too, believe that God will use for good! Thank you for being so brave and so willing to share that we may pray for you! What an honor!
I too am praying for you and your family!
Heather
Proverbs 3:5 for you. Awesome attitude and truly a woman of the L-rd. You are an inspiration
You’re on my prayer list
Hugs
GP in Montana
I came here by way of Lyndy’s site. She put a post up about you and suggesting her readers come here to read your story and pray for you. I will be adding you to my prayer list and the list at our church. May God continue to bless you with grace and strength as you face this difficult trial. God is getting the glory out of your situation through the testimony you are passing on. The fact that you are trusting God with and in this is a blessing. Stay strong in Him and His Word.
I stopped in to check on you before I went to bed and was so afraid of what I would read but what happens??? YOU inspired me by your wonderful testimony! WOW! I have been, and will continue, lifting you up in prayer. I couldn’t help but think of the song “We’ve come this far by faith, leaning on the Lord.” That surely has been your theme song, Sweetie, with all that you’ve been through and are facing right now. Our prayer group that meets before school at the elementary where I teach included you in our morning prayers. I’m so happy that you realize that you have so much love surrounding you. Praying for strength and comfort in the morning for your test.
Love and prayers,
TM in Sinking Spring, OH
Heather,
I join all the others in saying that you and your family are in my prayers. You’re post was amazing and I am in awe at how you can be so strong in who God is with all that you are going through. That attitude and being bathed in prayer will get you far.
Continuing to lift you and your family in my prayers, Heather. Oh no, He never lets go.
I’m encouraged by your strength- and glad you seem to have a good positive outlook on this, which is so important and much needed! I will keep praying for you…and again I so wish I could give you all hugs- I’m sure it would make you feel better as much as would make me feel better. Hugs.
Yes Heather, you can do this. Never ever forget that with God ALL things are possible!
Praying with you that you CAN do this, Heather! God is as close as your next breath, dear one. May you feel His presence when you struggle.
You are truly amazing!
I know you attest to the faithfulness of God and give Him the glory, but I have spent a good part of the day reading your daughter’s testimony as well as yours, and You *are* amazing!!
Many blessings to you as you walk closer to Him everyday. You are in my prayers!
-Jacque
This little song we sing to our kids came to mind and I wantted to share it with you and let you know that I am lifting you before the throne of Grace and praying!
My God is a great big God and a great big God is my God. My God is a great big God glory.
Holy, holy, holy. Holy is my God
Worthy, worthy, worthy, is my God
Glory, glory, glory, glory to my God.
My God is a great big God and a great big God is my God. My God is a great big God glory.
Dearest Heather,
Delurking just let you know that I’m praying for you.
“Do not fear for I am with you. Be not anxious for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Surely I will help you. Surely I will hold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
You’re amazing Heather. Really you are.
At this most difficult time in your life you have managed to inspire me, amaze me. Your pure faith is what we all strive for.
God will hold you close as you fight this…He will hold your family close…through Him you can do this. And I will continue to pray.
Just adding my prayers, sharing this poem as an encouragement. May the Lord strenghten and encourage you in the midst of this time.
The rage of the storm
And the swell of the sea;
Unseen hands
Hold tightly to me.
The gales blow strong
But can never remove
My life from that grip
From the powerful love
Of God.
The rage of the storm
And the swell of the sea;
Oh, Lord, wrap Your arms
Tightly about me!
The gales blow strong,
But they’ll never remove
My life from Your grip,
From Your powerful love,
Lord God!
WOW girl!!! You are a hero beyond words! Way to go for placing your faith in God and not wavering!!! In all – that is what matters most. That is what will endure. You are inspiring us (just like you have in the past!) Just imagine what you are teaching your children through this!!!!
Still praying of course….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVAVFTczA3I
Hello Heather. I found you at Diane’s blog. I read your post and just want to say that even though you don’t know me, we believe in and serve the same Almighty God who is the same today as he has always been. I pray He touches you and begins a healing imediately.
You are in my prayers
God Bless you and yours.
Hi, I randomly stumbled across your blog by following linkies. I just wanted to say that you are in my prayers. It’s awesome to see all the comments and all the support you have. *hug*
I’m sorry to hear about this and you are in my prayers as well.
God bless.
You have my thoughts and prayers. God Bless you and those you love. May He give you the strength and courage to beat this.
YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT! GO, HEATHER! GOD IS IN YOUR CORNER!
If God be for us, who can be against us?!
Prayers going out for you, my friend.
Anyone who thinks “she must have done something really horrible to deserve all of this” is a moron, plain and simple! There’s no way that a wonderful person like you (or any person for that matter) “deserves” all of this!
Heather, thank you for sharing the news. Believe it or not, it’s comforting to know the details of what you’re up against. It’ll help make my prayers more specific.
May God continue to remain with you and your family in your time of need!
Heather, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
(((((Hugs)))))
You’re in my prayers.
Psalm 37:7
“rest in the Lord/and wait patiently for Him/ do not fret”
(HUGS)
Heather, I’m praying in faith for total healing and for God to be glorified. He is good, so good. What perspective this gives us – everything else just fades away.
Heather, I can’t even begin to imagine what you are feeling right now but you do a beautiful job putting your emotions into words. Thank you for sharing these things with us…it is very brave. As a sister in Christ I am praying for you and your family. I am new to these sites but, feel that I am already beginning to form new friends in Him and that encourages me to keep strong in the faith. As I sat here and read your stories I couldn’t help myself from crying and feel my heart break for you and your family. But, Know this. You have a very large number of people praying for you and that you know the Lord is hearing our prayers. That hopefully is uplifting. I will let our congregation in in Paulding, OH know about your situation and keep the prayers coming. Good Luck! You can do this. Through Christ all things are possible!!
You definitively did nothing wrong to “deserve ” this! You do well to remember Job. Christ tries the faith of the believer to galvanize it. We ‘ll keep praying for you and your family with all our hearts. With love and in Christ.
I just had to say that I have been pouring through your words. There is SO much here that I found myself thinking OMG I kNOW how that feels. And a few things that I couldn’t even imagine. I have 1 that beat the averages too. How thankful we can be that we don’t serve an ‘average’ God. Lifting you and yours in prayer.
With love in Christ
Heather
Heather, He won’t let go, and I know you won’t let go of Him. Thanks for inspiring us with your faith.
Praying for you,
Janna
Heather:
We are strangers, but I am praying for you and your family. Your post gave me chills. God is there for you and so is your cyber-family.
God bless,
-Nancy
You are continually in my prayers. HE IS A BIG God. Bigger than this tumor, Bigger then your fears and BIGGER than any of this. May He be given glory through your amazing testimony.
With much love!
I hope the eeg went well. You are in my prayers and I admire your strength so much. God truly is wonderful and can help us get through anything.
Praying. You can do all things through Him.
I am praying for you and your story has touched me deeply! Thank you for sharing with us and reminding us how big our God truly is! Blessings and healing to you!
Heather,
I found you via Boomama.
I am also praying for you. My favorite verse of all time is:
The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever – do not abandon the works of your hands. Psalms 138:8
The Lord WILL fulfill his purpose for you Heather. Hang on tightly to him. We’re all praying.
Love, Stephanie M.
Praying for you Heather. Thank you for sharing you journey with us, may God use it to bring others to His kingdom and offer you an oppurtuinity to just get your words out. Blessings to you and to Emma!
Thanks for the update. You would smile at how I’m asking my world to pray for you…”I don’t know her and she doesn’t know me, but…”
So many praying for you and we’ll continue lifting you and yours up.
love,
Cathy
You are so inspiring!
It’s so funny that you would mention people thinking you must have sinned BIG for this to have happened…I was thinking exactly the opposite. I was thinking that with your struggles with Emma Grace, your work on all the various blogs and websites that encourage and bring others to Christ, that SATAN had decided that he really needed to attack you harder ’cause his plan just wasn’t working!
I posted on my blog as soon as I heard about this that my prayer is that you will go in for your tests and the response will be, “What’s going on here? Who screwed up? Who said there was a tumor? There’s no tumor here!” I’m still praying for that, but even if God has another plan, I know you’ll continue to bug the snot out of Satan the whole way through!
Thanks for the way you minister to so many. By the way, have you gone back and re-read your post on “Why Especially Heather?” I found it quite interesting in light of your current attack!
After 145 comments, you may stop reading
. I just wanted to say that I am praying for you. I am sorry your family is facing such huge trials, but God is not suprised…He will work this out for your good and His glory, because your love for Him is so evident! What a testimony you are and I don’t even know you! I love your blog and will be awaiting the post that says “Praise the Lord, I am healed!” I am praying for a God sized miracle. Much love, Kristie
To God be the glory in all things. You are truly amazing. I will be praying for you.
Praying with you- and your sisters in Christ-
much love- ts
I thought I had problems. I do not. You reminded me. Life is a battle. I’ve taken my share of hits and obviously you are taking one now. You’ve gained a new prayer partner, Heather. I’ve no idea what the earthly future holds for the next 5 minutes. But ask me about the next 500 years … and I’m all over it. Be faithful, my sister. I don’t know you. But I love you in the strong name of King Jesus. Don’t give up the fight until the day you hear, “Welcome home! You are a good and faithful child! I’m glad you are here!” That will be followed by hugs from nail stained hands. I pray it doesn’t happen for another 50 years or so!
I have tears in my eyes. I’ve heard that song before but it doesn’t always click until it’s put into context like you just did. Bad things happen to every single one of us, and it is not a result of anything bad we have done. Things happen for a reason like you already mentioned. I know, so many people think that sounds cliche but I think as a Christian we can understand that, together….
….it was nothing you have done, it does have a purpose whatever that may be. You are viewing one point of your life, not the whole picture.
Heather, have you ever stared at an oil painting up close? Oh my goodness, the picture is usually made of itsy bitsy dots, and strokes. Just little marks that don’t look like anything, and even look like accidents at times. But when you back away from the oil painting, and view all of those little itsy bitsy marks together it makes one of the most most beautiful and detailed pictures you will ever see.
that’s how your life is Heather. You are looking at one thing, one little dot on the canvas of your life. God is creating a beautiful picture called your life and this is just one detail that for one reason or another will actually enhance your life, and it’s outcome.
The whole picture, just remember.
Continuing to pray for you here. May you daily find peace, comfort, and strength in our awesome God! I believe in His miracles. You are shining brightly for Jesus even in the midst of trials. Yes, you have already blessed and inspired many (me included). Keep looking up to Jesus, our Prince of Peace! He loves you so much, Heather!