First and foremost- thank you so much for all of your comments. I was blown away just now by reading all of them. I cant tell you how much they mean to me and my family. I totally and completely believe that Christ has His hands wrapped firmly around our family, and He has carried us and will continue to carry us. I have no doubt about that.
First the Neurosurgery appointment. Dr. Cassidy was very straight forward, which I am very thankful for. The tumor is in my front left lobe, it is quite large, and it is inoperable due to the fact that it is not “well formed” and is “entangled” with normal brain tissue. He was very optimistic yet cautious. He told us that if he were to choose a brain tumor, this would be his choice. It is a lower-mid grade tumor, which I am still trying to understand. He said that brain tumors aren’t classified as “cancer” because they do not spread, but there is a high possibility that it is malignant (still trying to understand that). We talked about treatment- he stated that because it is inoperable, he wants to do a brain biopsy next week. The results of that will tell us our next step. If they come back malignant then we will proceed to radiation. When we asked about “life span” he obviously said he couldn’t give us a definite, but that radiation would “double” my prognosis- he said that the average without treatment is 10 years- with treatment is 20 years. But then again, look at my Emma Grace- I tend to not believe averages.
We talked about my dizziness and how he didn’t believe that it was associated with my tumor. He sent me to an ENT specialist at 4pm. Dr. Silverstein does believe that it is related to my tumor, and has prescribed Ativan to make the world stop spinning. I have more tests with him tomorrow afternoon (3pm) to narrow (and nail) this all down.
I have an EEG scheduled for in the morning (8am). Dr. Cassidy wants to rule out the possibility of small seizures due to the location of my tumor (which would also explain the dizziness). Please pray for this test- for some reason it is really stressing me out.
Some people would look at the events of the last 24 hours in my life and think “she must have done something really horrible to deserve all of this”.. My answer to that- You don’t know my God. He is the God of Job, He is the God of Abraham, and His love for me and my family is unwavering. I believe what Satan intends for my harm- God will use for His glory I firmly believe that when I walk out of the other side of this, despite the location I find myself in, I will have been blessed and will have blessed so many lives. I read your comments to me, and am amazed that this “bend in the road” has had the ability to bring forth such a Growling of prayer at the feet of Christ. I am amazed. I will walk through this with the love and and friendship of my family and friends- I am not alone.
Be it cancer, radiation, or whatever else life throws my way- I will walk through it.
I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out; plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jeremiah 29:11
Now on to phase 2 – biopsy and radiation. I can do this…