I started reading “Its not about the bike” by Lance Armstrong tonight. The only words I can form are “wow”. I, first of all, had no idea that he had brain cancer- I knew he had testicular cancer, but I never knew he had brain cancer.
I tend to have a problem reading books from the begining. I start by thumbing through and try to get a feel for the book, reading the chapter titles etc.
Chapter 5: Conversations with Cancer literally leaped off the page. The below excerpt brought tears to my eyes. Tears of strength and determination.
There was a dis-quieting intimacy to the idea that something uninvited was living inside my head. When something climbs straight into your mind, thats way personal. I decided t get personal right back, and I started engaging in an inner conversation with it (cancer). I tried to be firm in my discussions. “You picked the wrong guy” I told it.
I laughed, because I literally had almost the same exact conversation with my tumor on April 14th. I thought it was odd that I actually talked to this thing, speaking directly to it.
He later wrote something on belief that caused me to almost stand up in my living room and cheer:
I know this much: I believed in belief, for its own shining sake. To believe in the face of utter hopelessness, every article of evidence to the contrary, to ignore apparent catastrophe- what other choice was there?
So I believed.
I am not sure if Lance and I share the same reason for belief, but the underlying belly of our determination is the same.
Life.
Whether that be 20 more years, or complete healing tomorrow. This isn’t about a diagnosis, this isn’t about the hardships I and my family are facing. This is 110% about God and His sovereign provision. This is about his undying and unconditional love for his children. This is about being completely dependent on Him.
Its about belief. Belief in His promises, not just in what he can provide. Belief in his presence, not just in his provisions. Belief in his sovereignty, amidst all of the questions of why.
I believe.
God is not in the business of concerning himself with only our physical needs. This is so much more than that. He is so much bigger than that.
I am not a “name it, claim it” kind of gal- but I do believe that Christ has given me the power to tell this mountain to move. I believe that he has given me the authority to battle this not only in a physical sense of the word, but spiritually also.
Whether this tumor is here next month, or next year, this battle is not only about the flesh. It is about the soul.
It will not steal my joy. It will not rob me of my love for my Savior. It may bring me to my knees, but it will not bury my hope.
It picked the wrong girl.
With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don’t hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort. -1 Corinthians 15:58
I cling to that. The pain and suffering I have experienced this last week is not a waste. The knowledge that I have a brain tumor is not a waste. These things have brought me so much closer to my Savior…
And that is what it is all about.
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Amen and amen. ((hugs))
Woohoo! That attitude is like turning a corner! Second wind and new faith all at the same time. Wonderful.
Heather, It is so awesome that you are BOLDLY standing up to your tumor. I read Lance’s book years ago and was equally moved by his experience. You, also are touching lives and inspiring others and you’re doing it because you believe…in one Great GOD. Blessings.
Kathy
On guard, our friend! On guard! You are fully equipped….and….covered by the One who has already won this battle for you!
Diane
Heather, thanks for sharing your thoughts and all that you are going through. You express yourself so well through your words and I know you are impacting so many people through this blog, bringing us closer to Christ..and that IS what it is all about. Thank you.
Amen!
Yes, LORD, Amen!
Praised be – Amen
Amen. So glad it picked the wrong girl. (Not glad that it picked you – but glad that you have decided you are the wrong girl!)
Heather ~
I found your website about a week ago. And I just wanted to let you know that every time I come to your site and read your entries – I am reminded of the awesome power of God!! Praise the Lord!! Keep holding onto Him! He loves you!!
Great outlook, Heather! Amen!!
So glad your belief is for different reasons than Lance. He still needs our prayers in that regard.
Speaking of prayers, you have mine . . . through every step.
Yeah Heather! I love your spunk and I still pray for complete healing! I’m thinking about that 20 years down the road….my goodness the advances available to us even ONE year down the road are unfathomable. So in five, ten or twenty, can you imagine?!
Yes, that IS what it’s all about!!! We’re still keeping you in our prayers.
You’re darn right it picked the wrong girl. Amen.
Heather, just after my son’s cancer diagnosis we were given this book and he had me read it to him. He would laugh and cry because it put words to his emotions. A wonderful read even if the basis for faith is different it still reflects his real life experience and courage.
Praying you’ll sleep well tonight and wake ready to keep up the fight!
Heather, you hang tough! God can and DOES perform miracles every day in our lives. I admire your strength and faith as you face yet another battle in your life.
Not to make light of what’s going on, but I remember a patient in the hospital telling me once, “I know God won’t put more on me than I can handle, but I just wish he didn’t trust me so much!” That’s an old one, but God knows you are prepared for whatever comes your way. I’ll be praying for you.
man alive you gave me CHILLS Heather! You go girl! You GO tumor go AWAY! love ya xoxo melzie
Amen!! You go girl!!!
GIRL! you make my soul SOAR- you and your tumor are giving me some FAITH!
God, thank you.
Amen.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart ..
Sweetie – you have SO many people praying for you. Lifting you and your family ( friends too ) up towards Heaven.
I have faith in God. I believe.
But when I read about your faith in God… I’m amazed. I feel that God must be smiling down on you… so proud that you are sharing your faith with so many people inspite of the hard times you are facing.
You are an inspiration. Sending up prayers for healing and strength for you.
Wow.
I pray for you daily.
We’re behind you chanting “You picked the wrong girl.” When you move that mountain, we’re behind you cheering for you. We’re behind you with prayer and lifting you up each moment. We’re behind you and holding you firmly up when you are spending these next few days before your appointment with your children.
Praying for you diligently.
Love,
Natalie
Macon, GA
WOOHOO! you go girl!
No words. Tears of joy. You are beautiful.
As a very new reader to your blog let me tell you…you are one heck of an inspiration.
Blessings to you and your family~
Darn tootin’ – wrong girls.
Right there behind you! Shoutin’ amen!
That’s a great book, btw…couldn’t put it down.
You are so right, my sweet sister in Christ! The Battle is Already Won (one of Keith Green’s songs)! Our victory is in Jesus. Cling to Him. The Lord is being honored and glorified through your beautiful, powerful words on your blog. You are living a victorious life, Heather!
I agree with your faith and theology 100% . You are amazing. God is amazing.
This summer we walked through cancer with a 12 year old friend (boy). He is as healthy as a horse today! There is something very special about a positive mental attitude. I believe it goes hand in hand with the sovereignty of God. Somehow. I can’t say that I understand it fully but I do believe it is critically important.
You’re off to a great start dear Heather.
Praying for you.
Janet.
I don’t know how to trackback, but I wanted you to know what I posted today.
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Tonight I have savored the aroma of Son-ripened suffering, seasoned with trust, in Especially Heather . In case you haven’t heard, she recently learned of an invader, an inoperable brain tumor. If you had never read the story of her youngest daughter, do. Her post today changed me.
I wanted to stand up and cheer “go Heather go Heather” ’cause I know you are on God’s team…and that is a winning team.
Praying.
Heather, you rock! I have no words but those
Check out my blog for a video that may encourage you.
Heather,
First, this is a powerful post for all sorts of situations. Thank you.
I’ve been out of the blogsphere loop for 3 weeks and just learned of your diagnosis. I am praying for you and my prayer circle is praying for you and your family. I hope you continue to feel the prayers around the world sustainging you. (HUGS)
Preach it girl!! And let me add…”it picked the WRONG FRIENDS”…we’re with ya! Loving and praying all the way!
Dear, dear Heather.
Amazing when one comes to a blog which is about a brain tumor (for now) for daily inspiration. I guess that’s because YOU’RE serving an Amazing God.
Now, I’m saying thank-you to YOU.
I love to “see” how the Lord speaks to your heart, it is truly beautiful.
I’m believing with you.
Once again dear sister, You Amaze me!!!!
I believe in Him, and I believe in YOU!
Oh and “it picked the wrong family!” LOL
Love you girl!
I can certainly say one thing– this tumor doesn’t know who it’s up against!
Your attitude inspires me.
Heather, continuing to lift you and your family up in prayer.
Amen, Heather! AMEN!!!! Your spirit is practially tangible this morning. I can literally FEEL your determination to fight boldly and also to cling tightly to Jesus. You go, girl!
Blessings,
~Toni~
Praying for you from Kansas! God is always victorious!!!
AMEN! AMEN!
*teary*
Beautifully and powerfully written, sister.
Wow! You continue to amaze me. Now, I want to read Lance’s book! Your faith is unbreakable!! Keep strong!
That is so right. The enemy doesn’t know who he’s messing with. Your God will supply all your need. He began a good work in you and will be faithful to complete it. Anything is possible with Him, and He is the Rapid Stitcher. We believed these same things when our son was told he’d end up in an institution because of his epilepsy.
I said “well, devil, you picked the wrong family to mess with.” Our son is as normal as normal can be today- healed and seizure-free over 2 1/2 years now on no meds. He’s a normal little kindergartener. God is GOOD. Believe believe believe what HE SAYS and not what man says. I am so praying for you and your family, Heather!!
Stephanie
Adventures In Babywearing
All I can say is “Amen!” God has given you such a gift of perspective, wisdom, and unyielding faith. Use it all in this fight, girl!
Love, sent again,
Elisa
Praying for you — and when I cared for my mom with a brain tumor I kept notes which are now at http://linda.walkworthy.us/ — especially look under Encouragment. It was especially helpful for us to have printed out copies of so many verses that we took with us to each hospital room – reminded us of the promises & how to pray & it let visitors & medical professionals know where our hearts were.
Be strong & courageous!
Daggone right! It TOTALLY picked the wrong girl to tango with!!!You GO girl!
Standing beside you… in awe and respect, and humbled by the power of prayer and belief in a God that is mighty enough to make a mountain TREMBLE, CRUMBLE, and SCRAMBLE!
Heather…I haven’t been reading you very long, but I am already inspired. I’m behind you as is the entire blogging community. Your words about God being sovereign and your faith in the midst of this is such an inspiration. God brings us to the lowest point so all we can do is rely on him. You are such an inspiration.