Peace that passes all understanding…
April 29, 2007
“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
-Philippians 4:7
This morning we visited a local church with a precious family who had invited us when they had heard we were coming to Rochester for Mayo. Tara and her family were so very kind to us, so I wanted to publically thank them (not just for lunch, but for the fellowship!). It was so nice to visit with them, and to see their precious children!
This was the first time I had been to church since the diagnosis. Not because I didnt want to be around my christian family, but because sometimes it is hard to face people whom you love so dearly in the midst of such devestating news. I deal better with the looks on strangers faces right now, if that makes sense. Berean Community Church, and its members were so loving to us- it is definitely a service we will not forget. It didnt take long for the news to spread, especially when people asked why we were visiting the great city of Rochester- after adult bible study these strangers took Mark and I into a room and prayed fervently for us and our family. They weren’t strangers when we left.
Their music leader, Jayson, touched my heart deeply through worship. I had been reading his blog a few days prior to our visit and have really enjoyed what Christ had put on his heart. Worship is so important to me, it means so much to me, yet my biggest fear is that my ability to worship is going to be taken from me. Singing has become such an intrical part of my life. I had mentioned to my dad the other day that I was fearful of losing my voice- he told me that he had already been praying about that, because he knew that out of all of my possibilities, that would be the hardest for me to deal with.
During Adult bible study, we were talking about “True Worship”. I was reminded that worship, despite its appearance of joy and excitement, isnt always about joy and excitement. True worship is evident in the hard and rock bottom times. I deeply want to worship Him through this, I deeply want to praise Him, even though this journey is not what I would choose, I know that I know that He knows.
Mark and I came back to the hotel after lunch with Tara and her family and took a nap. We slept hard. Ive been avoiding sleep lately because for some goofy reason I keep telling myself it is time wasted- It was really good to sleep. When I woke up, I kid you not, the title of this post came to my mind. I find that the last few days fear will grip me in the oddest of situations. Like waking down the stairs, out of no where I will wonder if I will be able to complete this task in a week. Typing, I wonder if I will be able to use my right hand, and what not being able to will feel like. Singing in worship today, I had to excuse my self during praise because fear and tears took over me.
Yet I am promised peace that passes all understanding, and I desperately want that. I desperately want to not fear, and to face each day with the strength of a lion. I desperately want to rest completely in Him. This afternoon I was reading through all of the comments that you have left me, and one in particular leaped out at me. I havent spoken to the person who left this comment, so they have no idea that I am going to quote them- but it touched me deeply. It speaks so clearly what I want to convey to all of those around me, yet havent yet found that peace that brings me to this place. This is a quote from the commenters Aunt, while facing a brain tumor:
“Dear heart, I want you to remember that my life is in God’s hands. He may choose to leave me here; he may choose to take me home to Him. Whether He chooses to heal me in this life, or not, doesn’t change the fact of His power to heal–whether in this world or the next.”
Pray that I would have peace that passes all understanding this week. Pray that in those moments that I fear, and they are frequent right now, that I would gently rest those fears and doubts in his hands.
I praise him for the time spent with fellow Christians today, I praise him for the worship that touched my heart so deeply. I praise him for these complete strangers and their love for me and my family.
I praise Him despite the circumstances that brought me here.
Be Near
You are all
big and small
beautiful
and wonderful
to trust in grace through faith
but i’m asking to taste…
for dark is light to You
depths are height to You
far is near
but Lord, i need to hear from You
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good
Your fullness is mine
revelation divine
but, o, to taste
to know much more than a page
to feel Your embrace…
for dark is light to You
the depths are height to You
far is near, but Lord
i need to hear from You
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good
(psalms 73:28; 139)
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In other words: Play Nice
43 Responses to “Peace that passes all understanding…”
I would love to hear from you!
Praying hard and praying often. ((hugs))
He is sufficient. I remember Elisabeth Elliot mentioning that she had peace in the midst of each thing, but never before it was necessary. If you were to lose any of those things you would have peace at those times but we are, as Christians, forbidden to borrow trouble from tomorrow. (I say this knowing that this a reminder as much to myself as to you–it is so tempting to notice things and think “will I have it tomorrow, next week, a year from now? I don’t have a brain tumor but have my own potential losses that I am just as tempted to fear for the future.) He has promised and He will give you peace for each thing–as you need it, never before and never more than is necessary. He is faithful and will bear all of you through this. Our prayers continue.
Amen and amen! Remember that He will only give you the grace you need in the moment you need it. Don’t worry for tomorrow and what gains or losses it holds. If you will delight yourself in Him…
I’m very glad you napped hard today. Poor sleep habits, compounded daily can make a person crazy. It’s a tool of warfare; the military forces around the world use it to weaken the enemy. How much moreso in the spiritual realm at the hands of the adversary.
Make reasonable rest a priority! The Lord bless you and keep you, Heather…
So thankful for your Christian family away from home. :) What a little perfect gift from God.
Praying hard and thinking of you often.
Michelle
I continue to pray for God to lead the doctors as they treat you and I pray also for comfort and peace that only comes through a relationship with God! It’s easy for us to call on God for strength and guidance when we are faced with adversity. There is one thing I know about you, from reading your posts and visiting your blog (and reading of Emma Grace) before your diagnosis and that is the faith you have in the Lord! You share that faith with so many and I am one who looked to you - through your writing - for inspiration and hope as I live my life! Heather, you are so gracious and so lovely, especially in the way you have handled yourself (again, as I know you from your blog) in the last couple of weeks! You have opened your live, the lives of your family and your heart to so many and I, among many, see the glory of Him through you! Thank you!
In His Grace,
annb
God has blessed you in so many ways. You are eloquent with your words–that is such a blessing to those of us that read your updates. Know that you have an ARMY of brothers and sisters praying, praying, praying for you. We are lifting you up to our God to comfort and hold you–your husband, parents, children, friends–each and every moment of this trying time. God is so good. He loves you (agape) and is using you to minister to us in your time of great need. I can’t imagine a greater blessing from Our Father.
Love in Christ,
Natalie
Heather,
I’ve had to go back over all your posts lately, finding my own courage to face the unknown. Your faith in God during all of this has helped me in the past 2 days to not let go of what God has for our future. I am facing the unknown in regards to my 19 yo son, who is seeing a surgeon on Wed. after his primary care dr. was extremely concerned about some lumps on his upper thigh/groin area. He tried not to scare me, but using words like cancer/leukemia are very scary.
It seems every time you post a new song - I’ve just been listening to it. Shane & Shane will be in the next town over on Friday - wish I could be there but a wedding rehearsal comes first.
I am so glad that the church has embraced you while you are away from your own home family. It’s a great reminder that we are all the same family, with the same Father who cares so deeply for us.
Heather, I am praying for all those things you desperately want…asking God to be IN you exactly what HE is…peace and victory…joy and healing…He loves you so dearly…so very dearly…every detail, every concern, every thing is HIS and He’s faithful with HIS. You are HIS. Hear Him speak over you…let His love fill those places of fear and let it rise up in SONG. You are His…He thinks so much of you and every single thing that concerns you. I will continually pray…faithfully pray. He doesn’t need me to pray to heal you, Heather…He could do it without the prayers of every single one…but He calls us, asks us really, to participate in the process of asking, trusting and resting in Him…I’m doing just that.
Love you and your family in Jesus,
Holly Smith
Beth Moore has an amazing message called “Crossing the River of Fear” on CD from a conference she did in Kansas City in 2005. I ordered it off her website and listened to the first of three CDs yesterday–it was amazing. If you get a chance, listen to it. Everything she says is anointed, but this particular message spoke to me like nothing else she’s ever said. Fear of loss is something everybody can identify with–ironically, I have a neurology appt. next week–and I’ll be praying that He is your bravery. (See Habakkuk 3:19 in the Amplified version; it’s what she spoke from) :)
Thanks for the update…I really wonder about you now, how you’re doing, any new news, etc.
I think you’ve been thrown into the “pit” pretty hard and fast, but know that each moment is all that you have to face. You can’t worry about what may be when you’ve been given a journey this big…your singing voice, your right hand, and anything else, will just be. Worry does no good.
Just face this moment, and be strong!
Heather –
I’m so glad that you got to worship. I know it’s hard to face those you love at church but I’d like to ask you to think of it another way ~ Don’t steal their blessings! The people from your home church love you and want to pour out their love on you from the bottom of their hearts as God lays it on them. The blessings they have are blessings God gave them to give to you. Please let them love you!
God bless,
Sallie
Good thoughts. Thank you for sharing so much of your heart. Praying for you.
Heather,
I am a Rochester-an and accidentally hit your blog about two weeks ago…There is a reason for everything…
What a testimony you have! What a beautiful voice you give to the power of God! And yet, I have not heard your voice!
You have the best doctors–I know that for sure. They saved a student’s life this fall. You have the most powerful medicine. Of this I know, and it is prayer.
You are in the all-Good and Holy Hands of our Almighty Father. Trust that Jesus will speak on your behalf, hold your weary hand, and lead your family. You have prayers far, and very, very near.
Wherever you are, the Lord is right here.
Peace!
Praying for you and your family.
Praying God will remove this moutain of fear that grips you at times. His peace will prevail!
Still praying and keeping you near and dear to my heart. I was thinking and praying of your love for worship while at church today! (thinking of Luggy! and the song we sang) I know how much you love singing, So I will pray extra for that to never change.
We love you Heather! You, Mark and the kids are always in our thoughts and prayers.
Talk with you soon!
Heather, you and your family are being prayed for! You are in the hands of the Great Physician, the Good Shepherd, the Beautiful Savior. There is no better place to be. I am grateful that God connected our paths and that in His providence allowed us to be a small part of His story in your life.
In Christ Alone,
Jayson
Heather
You know (because you are His Child) that everything is done at the perfect time in the perfect place at the perfect season to create perfect peac, His perfect peace. So I was not surprised when I found out today that your surgery , scheduled for May 3 is The National Day of Prayer.
For you, for your family, from our hearts May 3rd is your day.
because of Jesus, Bobbie
I think just the fact that you chose to go to church in the midst of all this speaks volumes as to the sincerity of your desire to worship. So many people would use your same circumstances as an excuse to miss church. Because for a lot of people, church is more of an obligation than a joy. It touched my heart to hear that you WANTED to seek out a local place of worship and go. Of course true worship can take place anywhere, but what a blessing for you to share that time with brothers and sisters in Christ - to let them minister to you AND - in being so Christ-like - to also minister to them, in the midst of your biggest battle. Thank you for a tangible example of what living like Christ looks like in real time. I’m praying for you and for your family as Thursday approaches. :)
Hi Heather. My husband is pastor and we don’t often get to other churches but today went to a church in PA while we’re on vacation. They sang a song I hadn’t heard before. You might already know it, but I thought I’d share just in case you weren’t familiar with it. Seems like a song just for you right now, especially after you post about moving that mountain. As we sang Might To Save, I prayed for you.
Saviour
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
Shine Your light and let the whole world see
We’re singing for the glory of the risen KingHe IS mighty to save and
“I deeply want to worship Him through this, I deeply want to praise Him, even though this journey is not what I would choose, I know that I know that He knows. ” Heather, those words deeply touched me! In spite of fears of the unknown that are trying to come upon you, your testimony is touching all of us who are reading and praying for you. Continueing to pray and lift you and your family up before the Lord.
God is for sure nearer to us all as we seek HIM and beseech HIM in prayer for you and your family during this real life faith opportunity that you have been given Heather. Thank you for sharing this beautiful and worshipful song with us…I will be thinking of you and will continue to pray for you as HIS peace covers you as you walk through this valley of the unknown. HE KNOWS though, and will not allow anything that HE hasn’t already ordained. HIS Strength is so shining through you dear child of God! Great is HIS faithfulness!
I think it is great that you are praising Him NOW and thinking about how you will continue praising Him in the future. I’m praying. I’m hoping that in these days ahead, you will have a quick healing time with NO side-effects from the surgery. I can’t believe that I forgot to tell you that my best friend in TX had a similar thing happen to her son. They removed a huge tumor from his brain. He is doing great today. I told you about my dad but forgot to tell you about my son’s best friend. :) Hang in there, Heather. Maybe I can get my buddy Ammie to come in here and tell you her son’s story.
God bless you Heather! We are still praying for you. Love in Christ,
Julie in Texas
WELL WELL,,, If we ever dought HE is standing with us THIS DAY my dear is proof that HE chose it for YOU!!!! (((HUGS)))
Shalom, Heather.
I was just checking in today to see how you are doing. As I was reading, it occured to me that if you are not always strong, that is okay, too. You have so many loving people praying for you that they can be your strength. And you have One who is all strength to rely upon.
Thinking of you often. May you experience a complete healing.
Prayers continue. Will continue. Thank you for the update.
Isaiah 41.10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Your faith will touch thousands. I am profoundly moved.
Continuing to pray, along with my prayer warrior friends with whom I’ve shared your situation…
You are just a bunch of HTML, on a glowing little box, on the table in my study, that I stumbled across late one night while surfing.
And yet- you are my sister, and dear to me, and I pray for you, and I have every confidence that our Lord hears me, and will be glorified in so many ways through this.
It’s a mystery to me, and a marvel that I get to share in this with you, even in this small way.
Oh Heather, so much I want you to have peace. Lord- give her your peace.
Though I’m sure you’ve seen this song before, I know it has helped me and maybe it will help you some. Different situations entirely, but the reminder to lay your burdens down applies, I think. I’ll be praying for you, your family, and your doctors.
Million Pieces (Kissin’ Your Cares Goodbye) by the Newsboys
They all fall
Like a million raindrops
Falling from a blue sky
Kissing your cares goodbye
They all fall
Like a million pieces
A tickertape parade high
And now you’re free to fly
Carryin’ a millstone malaise
It’s been pulling down your gaze
You pound the pavement
It don’t give or care
This weight ain’t yours to bear
Why you holdin’ grudges in old jars?
Why you wanna show off all your scars?
What’s it gonna take to lay a few burdens down?
It’s a beautiful sound
When they all fall
Like a million raindrops
Falling from a blue sky
Kissing your cares goodbye
They all fall
Like a million pieces
A ticker tape parade high
And now you’re free to fly
When that muffled sigh
Says you’re barely getting by
Cut your burdens loose and just simplify
Simplify
This is not your floor
You’re going higher than before
Drop the weight now
Wait for the lookout guide
Look outside
As they all fall
Like a million raindrops
Falling from a blue sky
Kissing your cares goodbye
They all fall
Like a million pieces
A ticker tape parade high
Now you’re free to fly
You’ve gotta lay that burden down
You’re gonna lay that burden down
It’s time to leave your burdens in a pyre
Set a bonfire
‘Cause when you lay your burdens down
When you lay your burdens down
When you drop them burdens
What a free-fall
What a thrill
Bury them all
In a landfill
Sweet Heather,
I wake up in the morning (every morning) already praying for you and your family. That’s just weird (and cool!) because I usually can’t focus well enough to read or pray until after that second cup of coffee!
God has you where you are at for a reason…and He has all of us burdened for you for a reason. It’s going to be absolutely AMAZING to see what He does through all this!
I am so glad that you attended Church and found new friends. I totally understand what you mean about sleeping being time lost BUT I am glad you slept. You are always in my thoughts and prayers! Love, hugs and support to you and your family!
There really is nothing I or anyone else can say right now to change what is to come (whatever that may be) so I will just continue to think of you/pray for you and ofcorse for Mark and the kids. And by the way BJ, Hollie & Ashley all remember you and all said they want you to know they wish you ‘Good Luck’. :)
xoxoxo.
Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. - Genesis 1:2
Heather - Before God does a great work, the Holy Spirit goes ahead to prepare. I hope you will take some time to let Him “hover” over you and prepare your body before the surgery…to acknowledge that God is about to do a great work in you.
Praying…
Nothing else to say except that I’m deeply praying for you.
Heather, if you don’t own Matt Redmans worship CD…it is a must! I totally hear you on what worship can do to renew the soul. It is a language our heart and soul sing back to our creator. So glad you find such peace through song.
You got it, friend! You got it. Prayers for peace … and complete healing.
Heather, I wanted to let you know that I’m joining the prayer chain that Kelli is setting up for you, leading up to your surgery and beyond.
You will have many people praying for you!
As Karen said. I don’t know you. But I know WHO you are. You are my sister, you and I. We know things about the Creator of this wonderful universe that sadly some (most) do not. We know we are nothing and sadly lacking without Him. But we also KNOW who we are WITH HIM! Our Savior, our Redeemer, Our King. Our Father!
Remember, my sister, 2 people praying can move mountains that a million dollars couldn’t touch.
I think of you often and pray for you much!
Well really, when you think about it, which is easier, to forgive sins, take a person to heaven, establish the heavens and the earth — or to fix a part of the body?
He already showed us what he could do while he was on Earth, but the question is what will he want to do. No one knows, but we know for certain that he loves us because we are his little children. What would you do for your children? And there you have your answer.
Dear One, We are praying for you. I pray His peace and His presence will fill your heart and mind. He has promised us His peace and He always keeps HIs promises. Rest in His unfailing love. He loves you with a love that knows no bounds.
What a huge blessing and gift. Brothers and Sisters in Christ stretches across all barriers!