Many of the private emails I have received have asked a very similar question. “How can you keep your faith, after what your family has been through already”. I never really knew how to answer that question – not because the question seemed frivilous, but because the answer is so big. I was driving to my parents yesterday afternoon when a song by MercyMe came on the radio. Now, first of all those of you who know me in real life know that I love to sing- Music is so very important to me. Second of all, those of you who know me in real life also know that every song that comes on the radio while we are driving has some sort of meaning to me and usually will turn the radio up and say “this is my favorite song!”…
Yesterday was no different, short of the fact that this song answers that one huge question that so many of you have asked. I turned the radio up and listened intently with tears streaming down my face. Its intitled ” Bring the Rain”.
Before I share the song, I want to share a cool thing with you that happend last night between me and God.
I was laying in bed last night thinking about everything that has been happening in the last week (the diagnosis, the trip, the love offering, the ball in the pit of my stomach that wont go away etc.) I was looking at the ceiling at all of the shadows, thinking, where is that light coming from? I knew that I had turned off all of the lights in our house- and then I smiled.
It is no different than my real every day life. I sometimes feel as if I am surrounded by shadows- hiding in the corner broken hearterd and scared- yet if there is shadow, there is light…. can you wrap your heart around that? Even in those darkest moments, there is light.
One of the great things that has come from this so far is healing. It may not be physical healing as of yet, but there have been some very strained relationships in my life that have been healed because of this. It is a wonderful feeling opening your email and seeing so many olive branches being offered from people. Situations like this tend to bring out the knowledge that most things are just frivolous in the grand scheme of life. That, sometimes, is a hard lesson to learn. We (I know I do) have this ugly habit of feeling entitled- but yet God uses even the ugliest of situations to remind us of his over all plan- and it typically has nothing to do with the things we feel we have the right to fight for.
So, back to the song. I hope it blesses you. I know it tremendously blessed me. The closer I get to going to Mayo, the louder I want to sing this song with tears flowing down my face. Whatever it takes to bring you Glory….
“Bring The Rain”
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I’ve gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It’s never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what’s a little rain
So I pray
Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
But I will trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
for He has been good to me.
-Psalms 13: 5-6