We are home, and the visit went well. Her transplant doctor said that there wasn’t any change on her ECHO since the last visit (3 months ago), she had gained 2 pounds (this was a huge achievement) and said he would see her again in three months….
I, however, am not doing so well..
This visit brought the reality of our family’s medical issues to the foreground for me. I am crying as I type this. I am just…. lost and afraid, and very- I don’t know the word. I am having one of those days where reality is kicking me in the butt and I have no control over my emotions. When the transplant social worker asked me how I was doing, I just broke down. She hugged me and said she was praying for me… and for my family. I know so many are praying for me and my family.
Then there was Dr. F. He is a passive man, with a gentle soul. He listened intently as I told him that I had cancer, and that I would be starting chemo and radiation next Monday. And then he said he was sorry. Sorry that my family has to go through this, and most of all sorry for me. That brought me to tears again.
I know I have to go through this, I am just having a hard time today understanding the “whys” of it all.
Tomorrow is a new day, with new mercies…
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Heather,
In no way can I comprehend or feel what you and your family are feeling right now. And, I know you are receiving a lot of responses, but you are in my prayers. Crying is good, just curl up in our Father’s lap and when needed, hug someone with “skin.”
Karen
Heather,
I continue to pray for you and your precious family.
Hang in there. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Rest in Him. Continuing to pray for you all.
Love Deborah
Heather,
I’m a total stranger, and no words I can say to you will be just what you need. Thank you for your transparency in all of this. Know that you are being lifted in prayer by so many, and that we care and we know that God understands your tears.
Hi Heather and family
Just wanted to let you know that you are in our prayers. Emma gaining two pounds that is great news! Please tell her Hi and that I miss her.
Daisy
We may never understand all the why’s to God’s purposes. But He does have a plan for you.
Heather, I found a video in You Tub of the song I was telling you in my earlier post:
http://lizas-eyeview.blogspot.com/2007/06/for-those-tears-i-died.html
Still reading, still praying.
Jesus wept.
like mummymac said, Jesus wept too. you need to weep – this all hurts beyond what your should have to bear.
praying…
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