Wow. Thats all I can say about your comments, (and I read every single one of them, I always do.) Blogging has always been somewhat therapeutic for me, I can sit and write, and just get it all out. It helps me.
Its evident now after reading the over 900 (at last count) comments that my journey is also helping you. And that blesses me. What blesses me even more is that I literally have someone praying for me 24 hours a day. That just blows me away.
I have to admit that it is hard coming here and writing every day about my cancer. I do have weak moments, where I can’t get off the couch because my heart is breaking so much. I have had long and often times angry talks with God on more than one occasion. I have asked, like Jesus did, that this cup be taken from my hand.
And he gently pushes my outstretched arm back to my chest, cup still resting in its original place.
And then I read your comments. They give me such hope, and are such an encouragement to me. I read every single last one of them, and often go back and re-read them when I am having my “cant get off the couch” days. You are ministering to me when you leave comments- It comforts me both on the “thumbs up!” days, and the “rainy” days.
Yesterday I didn’t post because I didn’t want to hinder what the Lord was doing on my blog. I didn’t want to step up and interrupt the Holy Spirit from blessing me through you. I wanted to, boy did I want to. Remember my post about being an introvert now? But I didn’t. How could I?
Your comments were so kind, I had no idea that I was touching so many lives through sharing my cancer journey. Wait, that gives it owner ship… my journey through cancer. I just want to be His vessel, I want His light to shine through me at every turn in this honestly horrific experience. I want to be known as His child, not the girl that has cancer.
Many of you have talked about how strong I have been through all of this. I want to share with you something. I am only strong because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. I don’t know if I could face this with out knowing Him. I don’t know if I could face what my family has been through with Emma Grace without Him. He is what gives me strength, so when you think about how strong I am…. give Him all of the praise on that one… He is the rightful owner, after all!
Thank you for blessing me yesterday, as I laid on the radiation table, I thought about the then 600 some comments on my blog and just smiled. You all did that for me. It makes this journey so much more bearable to know that I have literally thousands of people praying for me and cheering me on a day.
And for that reason alone I am humbled….
Reading and praying for you daily in Woodbridge, VA. Amy Miller
Heather- I’m amazed at the response you’ve gotten from that last post! I love that you have people from all over the world reading your blog!
You are a blessing and an inspiration to us all!
Keeping you in my prayers!
I have tears almost every day when I come here – tears of joy for your faith and strength IN JESUS. We are praying for two 14-year-olds connected to people in our SS class, both stricken with cancer. One has been given bad news this week. I always wonder why God heals some and not others. It is not for us to know. But I know we’ll have the answers someday when we’re all together. Let’s schedule a get-together for everyone who has prayed for you in this journey. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful time when we all get to heaven – many years from now???!!!
Sweet Heather, Cancer is a terribly hard learning experience…but the Lord has allowed your fight against this terrible disease to challenge and encourage many. And you are growing in the difficult school of incredibly hard experience. You are learning (as Jesus himself did) compassion through what you are suffering. You are also finding by your experience that there is no place where you cannot be assured that you are surrounded by God’s love for you. He was not surprised by your cancer, but long before your diagnosis He had put in place doctors, nurses, facilities, treatments, and blogging to carry you through. You and your beautiful mom are such an encouragement when you are just being real about the hard times.
Right now I’m in a hospital in Seattle to help with the care of my 14 year old grandson, Christian, who has just undergone his 2nd bone marrow transplant in a year as treatment for an extremely aggressive leukemia. We have found, as you did, that people from far and away join us and uphold us in prayer. It is just amazing.
God bless your heart with His peace and joy. Judy
When I read your blog I see a fellow Jesus lover…not just a woman with cancer. It is part of your faith story. You inspire me.
I too don’t always post because I don’t see how you can get through all of them as it is. But, since you do, I will try to do better and post more often. I don’t often have anything new to add that has not been said, but realize you need to know we love you and are praying for you and even just saying that is enough. So, love you girl! and am praying for you!
I’m all teary-eyed, here, too!
Your faith inspires me. I have a young cousin walking a tough cancer road, she is 16. her faith amazes and humbles me! She told her mom that God had told her why she was going through this, but that she was not going to tell anyone until she was through it.
She gets up and rides her horse, lassos her cow when it gets loose, and keeps on living her life. Frequent bad times plague her, but I know and believe that she is going to make it and that God’s purpose is going to be revealed in a mighty way!
His purpose in your journey through this, and the thousands of people who it is touching, is going to be revealed one day, too.
You are indeed an inspiration and Jesus shines right through your life! One of my “life verses” is John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in my you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!”
I have a son who has had drug problems for many years and is currently in jail and facing prison. When I read your blog it is like balm on my broken heart. Nancy in Panama City
I’m so grateful for how gracious God is to us. He knows exactly what we will need and when we will need it and He sets us up in advance to be ready to receive from Him when the time comes. Obviously many have walked where you’re walking without the support and prayers of thousands reading their story online, but He chose to have you and your blog in just the right place at the right time so that you could bless us and we could bless you. HE TRUSTED YOU with an audience because He knew He would be pleased and honored and glorified by the music you would make as you walk with Him on this journey, highs, lows and all. How incredible that we all get to encourage you as you encourage us. If that’s not the Body of Christ, I don’t know what is.
Dear Heather..
Everyday when I go to Donna’s site and see her little prayer list, I am always glad to see your name.
If only you knew how encouraging you are to your invisible friends.
I really admire you,
You post everyday and sometimes I am so lazy withmy own site that I figure…oh I may as well take a day off and usually that “day off” adds up to more days off and so it goes for a week…
And here you are in all your sickness just keeping on up!
God Bless you…Love Terry
Sweet Heather – That’s what this Christian life is all about – loving one another. We love you and pray for you. You are our sister, our daughter, our dear friend. In turn you bless us with your faith and sweet spirit.
My life has been so buoyed by your journey, Heather- I simply cannot go a day without visiting you. You have led me to a more deep love and faith in our Lord and for that I am ever grateful.
xo
Dear sweet Heather,
Your trust in the Lord shines through. You are truly a blessing to all of us. Lifting you in prayer Heather!
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Dear Heather, I started reading here before this part of your journey began. I watched you progress with grace, giving God all the glory, and depending on Him for strength.
While I have not walked through a battle with cancer, I have had my own hard battle and found that the surest solace is found in our Savior’s arms, His hands, His heart, His love.
For you, for me, and for others suffering I wrote a post a while back. I was too shy to post it here before, but you can jump over and find it, know you were in my heart as I wrote. I am praying!
Shalom and Blessings, Kim
http://randomthoughtsandotherfunthings.blogspot.com/2007/06/walk-through-valley.html
Heather, You and your site have been a tremendous comfort to me. I start chemo tomorrow. I will follow that up with 36 radiatiion treatments. Then I get to take hormone therapy x5 years or more. I have been coming by your site several times a day. I stand in admiration of your strength, faith, and attitude. You are acheiving your goal of guiding people to Jesus. I am a Christian but have felt very wobbly in my faith and courage. (My husband has recently been diagnosed with ALS, Lou Gerhig’s disease. I can easily live without my breasts but I don’t know how I will bear losing him.) I believe that God has us both in his hands and will do what is best for us. I feel like my life has been turned up-side down, though. I find comfort, and strength here. God IS using you to help others. Thanks to you and to Him.
Be blessed today dear Heather. I pray for you every morning when I wake up and also for your little girl, hubby and the rest of your little ones. I am adding your mom to this now since you mentioned what a blessing she has been for you. I pray for her to be strong as she has to see you walk this path. I have trouble with sadness/depression and starting each day has been hard sometimes because of so many disappointments in life, divorce, depressed/paranoid son, and just the responsibilities I have had as a single mom for so many years but in reality I am truly blessed by God in many other countless ways. You have helped me grow back into my faith in God through the trials. Thank you for your testimony. Blessings.
Oh, I forgot. I am from Illinois near Chicagoland and the Indiana border. Blessings again!!!
I have a woman in one of my Bible studies who has difficulties accepting the suffering God has allowed in her life. We were discussing it again today and I had just come across a list that I have of the reason God allows suffering in our lives. I should post that on my blog. But, one of the reasons is that the way we respond to suffering is a testimony to others. Remember Job said, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Job 13:15 We can cling to His character. He is so good, He is a loving Father and a Faithful covenant Keeper so He must have a reason for allowing this pain. He loves you, Heather.
When I was going through infertility I remember wanting to be known solely as “a child of God” and not the “girl who wanted a baby”. You’re understood.
Hey Heather,
The comments blew me away too I have read alot of them but no way could I read them all!! It would be so uplifting to have that many people praying for you my word!!! I counting you have 4 people that I know through the blogs who have cancer and so need prayer. 3 of them have lukemia and need so much prayer.
How is Emma? She must be doing well I have not heard anything lately about her. I hope she is ok. I also know before your diagnoses you took your other two out to home school, are you still doing that, or is it to much for you at this time?
Take care Heather, and Blessings to you.
That’s what it’s all about right? Sharing one another’s burdens! And lifting one another up in prayer!!! God bless! D
You are a shining example of a modern day Job. To see how you are handling the valley you are walking through is an amazing testimony to God’s incredible faithfulness. I know it is only through the grace of the Lord that you are able to do what you are doing with such grace. We tend to look at difficult situations and think, “I could never go through that. I just don’t have the grace and strength to make it through something so difficult.” That’s true…we don’t. God gives us just what we need, for the moment we are in and the difficulties we are currently facing. I pray that if I am every to face a similiar circumstance that I will face it with the grace and dignity you have shown. In the process of healing you, God is using you in amazing ways to touch people all over the world. What the enemy intended for evil, God is certainly using for your good and for His ultimate glory.
He is smiling down on you Heather and is so proud of His daughter!
Hey there Heather! Mixed emotions here… can’t explain. I remember my own dad undergoing chemotherapy and all.
I am praying for you. It’s just amazing how one could take burdens so easily with Jesus beside him. He does wonders! He is the medicine that heals what should be healed. Continue to hang on to HIS love. It helps to just have FAITH, even if, at times, we can’t understand why things are happening.
You bless us. Stay strong. Praying for you.
“And he gently pushes my outstretched arm back to my chest, cup still resting in its original place.”
Isn’t the Lord GREAT!!!!!!! He has not left you alone. NO!! Not for one moment!! He is close enough to even push the cup back into its original place. And in a time that can be so dark, He becomes SOOOOO much more REAL, doesn’t He??? He is The Rock- cling!! He is The Living Water- drink deeply!!! He is The Light of the World- behold Him!!!
I am praying for you, dear sister-in-Christ!!!
His,
Shari
Heather,
You are always going to be a girl who has had cancer. We can’t erase that from your testimony, but it is a part — a huge part — of your testimony that shows how God has truly worked in your life. We don’t sign up for these things, no– in no way do we– but the Lord is working through you. You are reaching others and you are showing them that the Lord is good! You are reminding them that our path isn’t the easiest one. As Christians, we have challenges, but the rest of the world stands back with their breath held to see how we contend.
My husband and I lost our first daughter. It could have destroyed us. Instead, we’ve done as you have done. We’ve given it to the Lord. All of it. We were able to show that it has only pulled us together more. It’s given us a way to speak to others who might not know about His wonders. And you know what? We have a beautiful adopted little girl who is just the most precious light in our lives. He gave her to us. We share our story about her, too.
We are given these stories, special and tough stories. Know His love is true. (Yes, I know you know.) You are special, my friend. Know that you are loved.
Found your site just before you were diagnosed. A few weeks after your diagnosis, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. Surgery was unsuccessful and he is now doing radiation everyday and chemo 1x per week. Reading your posts gives me insight that I just don’t get from my dad, and I so appreciate you and your openess. May the Lord demolish every cancer cell in your body give you day to day strength that you need.
Oh, my Heather, The verse I was thinking of in my earlier post actually says that Jesus learned obedience (Does not state “compassion”) by the things He suffered. Wouldn’t want to miss-state scripture….
In these difficult times we sure find out what the Word calls the sacrifice of praise…remembering He is worthy even when we feel we are too overwhelmed to feel spontaineous praise. You said it so very well “Life doesn’t have to be perfect in order to be wonderful”
Hugs to you, little sister,
Judy
WOW WOW WOW. Chills and tears to see a zillion people representing a zillion cities from all of the WORLD praying for YOU! What a great idea to ask people to share where they are from!
Dear Heather,
You brought tears to my eyes yet again by your transparent, honest posts. I can’t imagine going through what you have had to. What’s amazing and beautiful is how you give God the glory and praise for it. Lots of people can “talk” the Christian talk but it takes a strong believer to “walk” it like you are. It makes my heart so happy to read that you are uplifted and encouraged by reading everyone’s posts. I know for me, I post comments here for you for that very reason. You made me smile and cry by your words. I am still praying for you and your family. My only regret? I’ve never had the blessing of meeting you face to face (: You are very strong and very blessed. It’s quite obvious that many here care about you and are daily sending up prayers on your behalf. I pray that on the “can’t get off the couch days”, all of these people will continue to minister to you. God is amazing and has carried so many people through similar crisis’ and He’ll do the same for you. Keep focused on beating this cancer and know that many are thinking and praying for you. Best wishes!
Molly (:
BTW, you looked stunning in your scarf! Not many people can pull that look off but you sure did!
I am humbled to offer up my little prayers on your behalf, dear Heather.
I feel so weak and puny so often with the circumstances I face, the pain I carry each and every day. Then I come and read and cry along with you as you lose your hair, fight violent sickness from the treatment that is to make you better, and wonder how it feels to go through a time of not being able to speak, even to those I love so dearly.
I am bolstered and encouraged each and EVERY time I come here, my precious sister in Christ. I will continue to offer up my prayers on your behalf and know that God is hearing. Yes, He is hearing.
Consider this my hug to you today. May God hold you in His strong and capable arms, dearest Heather.
Heather -
You are amazing! Just amazing – everyday I come here, sometimes posting, sometimes not – sometimes even feeling unworthy of posting here. Your life, your amazing will to live, your amazing love for yourself, your family and God are, in my eyes, nothing short of, well, Amazing!
I have no idea how you have done it, I continue to struggle with my journey with God, I had a mentor helping lead me though, teaching me and being a sister in faith, – but she’s been MIA for several weeks – I just feel lost, then I come here and read your story – your strength and love – and I am amazed by it!
I can’t imagine going though what you are, and yet I find myself wishing everyone felt what you ARE going though – not that I would wish it on anyone, I never would or could – but, in some weird way, I believe what you are going though, is a gift – you do live everyday like it could be your very last – you remember to “smell the roses” as it were – and ENJOY what’s going on around you, your children’s smiles, the smell of the world right after a good rain, the beauty of your children playing happily together.
I had that “zest” for life, as a child, sorta – but as an adult you get somewhat jaded, and though if your like me you know your not promised tomorrow, and sometimes pray that tomorrow would just not come – but you also get complacent, thinking that it’s going to – often time’s thinking that it’s going to be worse than today was – if you know what I mean?!
Anyway, I am praying for you – and I look up to you more than you could possibly know, you are an inspiration to me, I hope to be one day, where you are!
Many (((HUGS))) and lots of prayers!
Dear Heather,
You are truly living your life as Matthew 5:16 says, letting your light so shine beore men that they might see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Also, Psalm 61:2, I love, says- when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. And God heals the brokenhearted. Praying for you.
In His Love,
Cathy
NC
I went to a class the other day, I had to write out my testimony and keep it down to three to five minutes. You write your testimony as Jesus writes upon the tablet of your heart, daily. What it was yesterday, it is not today. But each day you keep Jesus active and alive on your blog and in your heart. We have timelines in our hearts like History, before and after we are married , before and after we have children, before and after the Lord comes into our hearts. They are for reflecting, for strength and for hope. They are to encourage, reproof others and teaching. You are doing it all so well, and when we pray we say, And God bless Especially Heather, because she Especially blesses You.
Because of Jesus, Bobbie
Loving you.
P.S. and BTW, sharing your story with friends who don’t blog, too, so the Lord’s reach really never ends. ((((((((hugs))))))))))
i agree with you about faith. there were sooooo many times during my treatment this past year that i felt as if a wave was lifting me up because of all the prayer that surrounded me. i am so blessed to have so many people , family, friends in my world. and now i am asking if you could think of my sons , 3, today and this weekend as our small community just lost 5 beautiful just graduated a week ago today from high school who were all tragically killed tuesday night in a horrific accident here in fairport new york. our community is devastated and my 2 sons, one of whom just graduated last week also is very very sadden by this lost. http://www.democratandchronicle.com explains the lost. we are just so sad today.
Oh Heather, EVERY single time I read your posts I am inspired and I find myself asking God to help my heart be more like yours. Do you know how many people I’ve told about you and how your words (ok, actually God’s words!) have enriched my life?! You are absolutely SO amazing and thousands upon thousands of people are able to see, “This is how a Christian walks through hard times.” You are a living model of faith in action, and you are a hero to me. Thank you, thank you. You have my love, continual prayers, and deepest admiration!
Martha in Lancaster, PA
I read your blog each day. I don’t often post, because I think who am I? But you do need to know you touch so many out here in blog land. You post such uplifting, and truthful things. If only we all would look up when things are down. If only we all could take what you say and listen in the dead of night, when all the fear strikes. You are an amazing person!
well, you just delurked me. i’ve been reading for some time, before your diagnosis, but have not commented because there were always so many…how in the world could you read them all? but since you do…here i go:
never underestimate the power of sharing your story. i have a feeling when you get to heaven, as people stroll by you’ll be told again and again how your walk affected them. i’ll be one of them. and i’ll tell you how our journey to foster children almost didn’t happen because i was scared of the pain of giving children back. how could i live with that pain? i hadn’t yet learned pain was irrelevant to obedience….and love. and then one of your post brought that to light, how this isn’t about me, or you, but about bringing the god we love glory. in fact, you stated something in a song, and i’ve never heard that song the same way. and now, it’s kind of my life moto: jesus, bring the rain.
and then, all the children we bring into our home will hug your neck. the first one is already here…a precious little 1 year old girl who will most likely be adopted by us! and to think, we almost missed that blessing!
Honey child, you are beautiful inside and out. This post was one of the most inspiring testimonies I have read. God is blessing so many through your struggle….because you choose to remain faithful to Him. That ROCKS, my sister.
I am in Ripley Ohio, which is about halfway between Cincinnati and Portsmith.
Keeping you in prayer…
My blessing you because you bless me… well it blesses me!
You are the image of Christ, of what He’s called us to be. Heather, I truly believe people will come to know Christ through this blog. There is nothing greater than that. I pray God will continue to bless this ministry.
You are loved.
I have been lurking for a while and have wanted to comment but I just can’t seem to pull myself together to say the right things. “Wow” seems to simple but when I read your blog, I am rendered speechless. Heather, you are an amazing person! I have so much to learn from you. You truly are reflecting Christ in your life.
Three years ago I had emergency surgery to remove a non-malignant meningioma. Although it wasn’t cancer, at the time of my diagnosis the tumor was so large and had shifted so much that I was in a very bad way. I was very blessed to have a successful surgery and to not have died. I promised I would change and that I would be a better person and really use my trials to help bless others–giving all the glory to God. After three years, I think I’ve failed to maintain my promise and I admit I have become complacent. You inspire me to get back in there and make more of a difference, talk to God constantly, stop complaining about the petty things in my life, and continually look for ways to be a blessing to others.
You also are a reminder to look for joy and blessings in all the circumstances of life as it says in James 1:2-3. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”
Heather, thank you sharing your thoughts, hopes, dreams, and fears. All you have to do is read a few of the comments to know you are an inspiration to many. I pray that you feel peace knowing many are lifting your name up to God in prayer.
Blessings to you and healing for your body,
Lisa
You are so inspiring! I can relate with you on the daughter having a heart condition! God is GREAT and you show that! God Bless you and thank you for sharing your life and family with all of us! You are in my prayers!
Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything, tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this you will experience Gods peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Jesus Christ!
Philippians 4:6-7 (forgot what version, sorry)
I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let you down or relax My hold on you. Assuredly not! Hebrews 13:5 Amplified Version
Aimee from Surprise Arizona
http://www.abetholiphint.blogspot.com
Heather
I’m not sure if you know this girl or not
http://wilhoite.blogspot.com/index.html
Sorry I just don’t have time to scale down your thousands!! of comments looking for a familiar name!!
I’m sure she would find you a blessing
Lean Hard
Anon
Child of My love, lean hard,
And let Me feel the pressure of thy care;
I know thy burden, child, I shaped it;
Poised it in Mine own hand, made no proportion
In its weight to thine unaided strength;
For even as I laid it on, I said,
I shall be near, and while she leans on Me,
This burden shall be Mine, not hers;
So shall I keep My child within the circling arms of Mine own love.
Here lay it down, nor fear
To impose it on a shoulder which upholds
The government of worlds. Yet closer come;
Thou art not near enough; I would embrace thy care
So I might feel My child reposing on My breast.
Thou lovest Me? I knew it. Doubt not then
But loving Me, lean hard.
A friend at church – suburban Chicago, has a blog I enjoy (atahenspace). She mentioned a lovely lady in England (rockingchairreflections), and that woman had you in her list of friends. Doesn’t God weave a wide and beautiful tapestry!
I just wanted to add my voice to the chorus of support. I don’t remember to check back in with your blog very often; but my family prays for you every night when we say our bedtime prayers with my daughter.
Thank you so much for your continuing witness. You have blessed many lives. May you and your family receive as many blessings as you have given.