Wow. Thats all I can say about your comments, (and I read every single one of them, I always do.) Blogging has always been somewhat therapeutic for me, I can sit and write, and just get it all out. It helps me.
Its evident now after reading the over 900 (at last count) comments that my journey is also helping you. And that blesses me. What blesses me even more is that I literally have someone praying for me 24 hours a day. That just blows me away.
I have to admit that it is hard coming here and writing every day about my cancer. I do have weak moments, where I can’t get off the couch because my heart is breaking so much. I have had long and often times angry talks with God on more than one occasion. I have asked, like Jesus did, that this cup be taken from my hand.
And he gently pushes my outstretched arm back to my chest, cup still resting in its original place.
And then I read your comments. They give me such hope, and are such an encouragement to me. I read every single last one of them, and often go back and re-read them when I am having my “cant get off the couch” days. You are ministering to me when you leave comments- It comforts me both on the “thumbs up!” days, and the “rainy” days.
Yesterday I didn’t post because I didn’t want to hinder what the Lord was doing on my blog. I didn’t want to step up and interrupt the Holy Spirit from blessing me through you. I wanted to, boy did I want to. Remember my post about being an introvert now? But I didn’t. How could I?
Your comments were so kind, I had no idea that I was touching so many lives through sharing my cancer journey. Wait, that gives it owner ship… my journey through cancer. I just want to be His vessel, I want His light to shine through me at every turn in this honestly horrific experience. I want to be known as His child, not the girl that has cancer.
Many of you have talked about how strong I have been through all of this. I want to share with you something. I am only strong because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. I don’t know if I could face this with out knowing Him. I don’t know if I could face what my family has been through with Emma Grace without Him. He is what gives me strength, so when you think about how strong I am…. give Him all of the praise on that one… He is the rightful owner, after all!
Thank you for blessing me yesterday, as I laid on the radiation table, I thought about the then 600 some comments on my blog and just smiled. You all did that for me. It makes this journey so much more bearable to know that I have literally thousands of people praying for me and cheering me on a day.
And for that reason alone I am humbled….
You have touched MANY here dear sister. I am humbled just to know you, love you and learn from you.
2 more days! WOOHOO!
Well, now that I have tears in my eyes…
A beautiful post.
I’ve known you as His child way longer than I have “the girl with cancer” and you will continue to be His child – praise God, that will not change! You are remarkable in the fact that even though you are sometimes angry with God (and that’s perfectly normal at times; “be angry and sin not”), you hold on tight to Him. You are such a blessing.
Words just can’t express the kind and tender feelings I have in my heart towards you, my sister in Christ!
Sending you much love and many prayers….
Heather,
I found your blog via rocksinmydryer. My dad has gone through radiation, chemo and surgery twice for colon cancer. A FABULOUS book for encouragement and for evangelism while you’re doing chemo, he always said it was a great time to talk to other patients about God, is called A Reason for Hope. It’s by a pastor who chaplains at Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Illinois. I read it when my dad was diagnosed for the second time. I think it can help your believing and non-believing friends and family understand God’s plan for your cancer, his power and his sovereignty. I pray that God will use this time not only to heal your body but also to grow your roots deep and allow you to bless so many others at the same time.
And I’m in Atlanta, GA.
Your words are words of faith, even if at the moment you don’t realize it! You and your family are being prayed for mulitple times a day. Psalm 27:13.
It is my honor to lift you up…
Faith makes this possible. It makes our journey possible. I’ve said many times that I don’t know how people without faith can face a life-threatening situation. I really don’t.
So, “well done” to you for hopefully using this difficult situation to show people what faith can do.
Good luck with the other half of radiation!
You are amazing. Your blog is very therapeutic for many people. Thanks for posting every day. I read it all the time. Makes one realize not to take anything for granted. Good morning from Ottawa, Canada.
I missed posting a comment yesterday, but I am inspired by you and your struggle to face this with such a great attitude.
Happy to know that you are as blessed as I am by your journey. I pray you have a great day today!
Be Blessed!
Love you, friend….
Heather, you are truely a blessing to me, as one cancer patient to another, I know that the journey is not easy. We go through a lot of doubt, anger, why me’s, God don’t you love me any more, but, at the end of the day, we know that our feelings are just human and yes, God still loves us, no matter what, how we feel or how we look.
Have a blessed day,
Hugs, Norma
Dearest Heather,
Psalm 57:1 Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee, yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge until these calamities be overpast.
That was my cancer verse October 16, 2002 and then
Psalm 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
That was my verse when God called my daddy home October 25, 2003. I had MANY long conversations with God about allowing me to survive cancer only to rip my heart out with my father’s death. Your blog, as well as the many comments from those you have blessed, have helped me as well. I am praying for you
Praise God! WOW, I am so thrilled to hear how many people are reading and following you on this journey. Thank you Heather, for being you!
Heather,
God has a plan for you. You are not just a “girl with cancer” to me. You are a woman of faith. A Child of God! You are an inspiration to all those you come in contact with. You stand as a witness of God in all things and all places. You make me want to have a better relationship with my Heavenly Father. What an example you are to all of us who read!
In my prayers daily….
Julie
Yesterday I was re-reading through your “About The Name” page, and I was struck by what you said there:
I then started thinking about what the title meant to me- Especially Heather- I want God to work especially in me… I want to be His tool, directly planted behind the cross.
My hope for this space is that Christ opens many more doors for me to minister and touch peoples lives- not just through Emma’s story, but also through what Christ has done and is doing in me. Through the good and the bad- open and poured out before my savior.
I hope that I have been a blessing to you, that you feel Christs presence when you visit here and that this next year I am able to share even more of Christ with you…because that is my greatest desire.
To share more of Him.
You are, you really REALLY are. You ARE ministering. You ARE touching lives, through the good AND the bad. You are a tremendous blessing to sooooo many people (as evidenced yesterday), and your impact is rippling out beyond all of us to other people as well.
If your greatest desire is to share more of Him, well, God has given you a huge platform in which to see that desire fulfilled. Certainly not in the way you would have planned or thought it to be when you started this blog, but in a mighty and powerful way just the same.
You are a daughter of the Most High God, and you are bringing glory to His name in all of this. Even though I have never met you, I am proud to call you my sister in Christ, and I am sending out hugs to you today. Be blessed!!
(Sorry, I ended the bolding too early on my quoting up there. My bad.)
Heather, I often don’t comment b/c by the time I get around to checking my blogs there are already over 100 comments and I think, “There is no possibly way she can wade through these.” I am so glad to know that you actually read them and that they help you. I will comment more often!
Great post Heather!!! You have taken this trial and turned it around to glorify our Lord!!! That alone makes you very special!!!
Praying you have a wonderful day!
Hugs~
Tiany
I completely understand what you are saying- when we went through hard times with my son, everyone would ask me “how did you do it” or “how were you so strong” or “how did you not break down” and honestly, it just wasn’t an option! Praise God for his Hand on our lives and his mighty tower of protection and strength. And for his promises and faithfulness and goodness. I am so thankful. Not a day goes by that I don’t give thanks.
Steph
WOW! 971 comments right now. That IS amazing! I already know how much you’ve ministered to me through this blog and I was quite sure you had been touching many others, as well….it’s obvious now that I was right.
We won’t stop praying!
His child indeed you are, Heather! Prayed for you last night with Chris and today? Still praying…asking god to be Mighty over your days and nights, over your weak places and strong and come in your family and bless you, bless you, bless you!
Love,
holly
I meant God! Sorry…my shift key and fingers don’t always coordinate.
I don’t know how anyone gets through this life without Him!!
How comforting it is to know that God uses the ordinary people to do extra-ordinary things and to know that he has a plan that has not changed. I am humbled to read about the plan that he has for you, although the plan is not what we understand. When God created you he knew what you could handle and he knew that you would reach many by his plan! Continue the good fight! And know that you will be blessed by your faithfulness to him. We are praying! And I know he is smiling!
Having lost a mom and step mom to cancer I keep praying for you so you won’t leave your children at a young age.Medicine has changed so much in the past 40 years that you do have a huge chance of getting past this mess and plus God is with you.
Thanks for your encouragment.I am going through a rough time with my husband working in California and us living in North Carolina.I get angry at God and then read your lessons to help get over it!
You have that wrong. It’s YOU who blesses us! God is truly using you to reach us and it’s exciting to me to watch it happen.
Hugs!
Kat
I’m a 26 year old from Missouri and I came across your blog and it’s truly inspiring. My dad passed away from Huntington’s Disease, which is a neurological disorder and he lived with it for 10 years. It was very difficult to watch and now I, along with my brother and sister, have to face life each day knowing that we too have a 50/50 chance of getting it. It’s aweful and it’s something that never leaves my mind. When I meet a new guy, it’s so hard to tell him about it because it’s terrible. But reading your blog has really taught me to just take each day for what it’s worth and enjoy it and the family/friends in my life. And the guy I’m dating asked why I don’t want to have the test done to see if I’m going to get it. And the answer is b/c I don’t want to know if my time here is limited. I don’t want to know that. Just like how you mentioned. So thank you for showing your faith in God and showing how strong someone can be with all that you have going on. I pray for you daily. God bless you and your family. Corey
Heather,
You are truly an instrument of God! Yes, it is to Him we give our praise, but also to you for being a faithful follower and wonderful example. Your efforts are a blessing to many. Continue to lift your head high and look up, Praise be to God! You are a bright and shining legacy my dear friend.
Paula
Heather,
I am going through a really difficult divorce right now (and I in NO WAY mean to compare cancer and divorce as equals). I have two young children who need me more than anything and so I have found the strength and courage to forge ahead, even when I’m terrified. I often have people telling me how the way I’m handling this is admirable and I tell them, just like you, that it is God’s work in my life that makes it possible for me to face each day with a smile (mostly, I have bad days too!)
Your faith in God strenghtens mine. Thank you!
Karen
Something came to my mind reading your post….
Someday, I am sure some of us that come here to read your blog will be faced with an illness that overwhelms us and scares us. We will be able to remember your words and strength to help us get through the toughest of times.
Thanks for being an inspiration!!
Love,
Jonna
Our family has traveled a similar road…cancer, spinal AVM, surgery after surgery, etc.! That’s one thing we always say…”How do people without faith do it?!” Just knowing that God is so good and worth of ALL our praise and knowing that are lots and lots of prayers being said just helps so much, doesn’t it?! May God bless you with an AWESOME day, dear, Heather! (from a Texan)
If you have the time, you should buy a map and mark all of our cities. Hang it on your wall and whenever you’re having a down day, use it as a reminder of just how many people are cheering you on.
Keep on and on and on and on and…. I want to be reading your words for years to come.
Dearest Heather,
I have not commented before now, but have been reading for quite some time. I was taken by your comment that it is hard to come every day and write about your cancer. Now I know there is more to Heather than cancer, for sure. I want to know about how you are eating, where you are staying, who’s watching over you and your children. Have you done any fun things recently? I realize this is a hard time and you have many things to think and pray about. But this is also your life and it’s not all about cancer. So don’t think of this as updating us on your cancer – but your life – your wonderful life!!
Blessings on you and your family
Marie
Minnesota
Good Morning Heather! Praying for strength and courage that can only come from being His child.
Kari
Have a Great Day in Him!!
Hi Heather,
You are a soldier for Christ and He has given you such
a big task, in the process you are blessing so many people.
The Lord is faithful, He has to be, it is His promise to us. So if we are weary and He sais call on me and I will answer then He needs to. Bethany prays specific so that is what I am doing for my life.
You have such courage and I pray for you and Bethany. I am looking for answers in prayer for both of you, I pray all the time. My heart goes out for you and I wish that I could lift some of the burden but then I can pray and I do.
Blessings,
Marie
God bless you and your family Heather
Heather, I came across your site via Ashley’s Story. You, like Trish, have an amazing gift of ministry. As I read the comments left above, they were about illness, divorce, being away from a spouse, etc… You are touching people in ways that you probably never imagined. Loved the pics of Easton being baptized…how neat that Dad could be the one to it! Keep up the fight and know that lots of people all over the country (and here in the state of Texas) are bathing you (and your family) in prayer each day. Lacy Toler
Still praying…I won’t stop!!!!!
Heather, I’m so glad to hear you say that you don’t want to give the cancer ownership. Because it doesn’t OWN you…you were bought by the blood, remember?! Jesus is the one that holds you together! And he’ll bring you THRU this! Yay! I’m blessed by you!
When you believe and you spend time praying but don’t see results, even with faith, you wonder if a prayer makes a difference.
Then you pray for someone specific and you can see what it does for them (like you and this blog) and it feels like you are part of a miracle.
The power of prayer is Amazing.
Reading your blog has done so much for my walk with the Lord. It’s easier now to really just give my issues up to God and let him have them, rather than give them to him – but keep an eye on them just in case he forgets.
The way you talk about how God loves you has reinforced in me that He loves ME just like that too! ME! I’m a sexual abuse survivor (by my preacher grandfather) and always felt like I was dirty and used in his eyes. But I’m starting to realize God aches for my pain and wants me to see myself as he sees me.. as a wonderful child of God! I’m often brought to tears when I have some quiet time with Jesus and allow myself to feel all that love and peace.
I am so sorry that you’re having to go through all this; I wish it wasn’t happening. But I thank you for sharing your struggles and thoughts so we can all grow in Christ with you. Thank you.
Heather, I wish you and your family did not have to go through this BUT that is not our choice or decison to make. I know you are shocked by how so many people gain from you and your travels with cancer. For so many I think it is this walk we take beside you that helps us to be better and helps us to grow. I know for me I learn from you as I see how you handle so much. Stay strong in your faith and I hope you wil always share that with us.
Don’t feel that you ever have to post when what you need at that time is to not talk about it. Because Heather, we’re not going anywhere. God brought us all together with purpose. We’re praying for you when you post. We’re praying for you when we go about our day. We’re all lifting you and your family up to the Father in prayer and we completely understand that some days, you just won’t feel like posting. Rest! Rest in Him often and rest physically often. And know that we’re all here all the time. And yes, I feel I can say that for others, not because I know all (Ha! As if!) but because I see people returning again and again in love and concern for you. And sister, you are soooo right that YOU are ministering to us. God is working through you and in you. Thank you for your faithfulness.
BLessings,
~Toni~
Thank you for being real, honest and relatable! I have been deeply moved by all of your thoughts and feelings through this journey and I love reading about your faith!
You have such a great way of expressing yourself and speaking directly to my heart, even my soul! God is so good and I love that you can sing that even through your current circumstances! You are such a blessing to so many women!
I’m sure you never in your wildest dreams thought that your simple journey on a simple blog would come to this, but it has praise God – and Thank You! It can’t be easy to know that so many people read your innermost thoughts and to continue to bear them for all to see, but that’s what makes it so wonderful! Seeing real Faith lived out every day . . . even in the midst of the Valley!
Bless you Heather and your wonderful family!
You talk of people blessing you but do you know how blessed we are because of you? Well I know I am! It’s so awesome to have the Lord with us during trials to walk with us and carry us when we need it. And to have so many people backing you who share the same faith is just awesome. Huggles!
I am sitting here teary eyed like so many others reading that post.
and you are right …with Christ you can face this and walk through the fire.
I guess the honesty of your blog was what appealed to me. my mom has had 3 types of cancer, breast cancer that req’d a masectomy, chemo & radiation & a little less than a year ago they found massive amounts and 2 seperate cancers- one in her large intestine && throughout her colon. She will never be the same. so while I had never personally had cancer- I have watched my mom go through it. alone. without Christ. and as I mentioned my hubby is a marine, we have 5 kiddos- and unlike your family- often have not been able to physically be “there” for her. Did I mention I am an only child….
so… this past bout with the double cancers (Aug 2006) I went back to take care of my mom for 2 weeks – very pregnant with a scheduled c-section less than a month awaay in early Oct- my mom had the cancer cut out but refused radiation and chemo. she said she would never do that again.
so for me- your process is kind of like the process of refining gold found in the bible and that refining has a huge importance to God: 1 Peter 1:7 (NIV)These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
anyhow. thank you. thank you for allowing us to pray with you & for you. For helping me to slow down and appreciate my kids- and my husband, and my life. Several times a day I think of you, and your family. You have often said it took cancer to slow you down and appreciate all you have- well it took seeing you go through cancer to do that for me.
thank you for sharing it all, showing your faith, and blessing us all!!!!
I’m so thankful that you are sharing your journey with us. I’m just facinated how God is shining His light through you. Your testimony is touching lives in a powerful way.
I didn’t get to comment the other day…..
I visit from upstate NY…..near the Finger Lakes
I was 20 years old when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, back in the 70′s. She has always been my hero…not only because of her love for God , but for the spirit in which she greeted each day and the manner in which she showed her eight children how to be grounded in faith and love. I shouted at God back in those days a LOT and I didnt’t even have the cancer; you remind me of her in so many ways….you inspire me. I applaud you and lift your name up to Him daily………
Heather,
You are not, and never will be, the girl with cancer. You are Heather and a WONDERFUL example of how we should all live our lives. You have been dealt some pretty bad hands in recent years, but you take them on, give them to God and know that it’s HIS plan for your life, not what YOU decide. You give hope and encouragement everyday to many people. We pray for you because we want to. I want to. Maybe this blog is what God had planned for you to touch people and bring them closer to him. I know that it is a wonderful ministry even if you didn’t mean for it to be.
Keep your head up, have your bad days, and know that we are all here for you, with encouragement and love, whenever you need it!
Love in Christ,
Sara
Dear Heather.
God has Chosen you as one of the ones in this life to be worthy of carrying his message to so many who need to be uplifted with you everyday by his saving grace he looks everyday and says job well done good and faithful servant. He will never leave you and will lift you above all of this. I know many days are so so hard for you I dont know but I can imagine without the Lord these days would be impossible. Keep shining the Lord knows you are his bright and shinnest star right now God Bless you and your wonderful family Prayer will continue for you.