Im humbled…
Wow. Thats all I can say about your comments, (and I read every single one of them, I always do.) Blogging has always been somewhat therapeutic for me, I can sit and write, and just get it all out. It helps me.
Its evident now after reading the over 900 (at last count) comments that my journey is also helping you. And that blesses me. What blesses me even more is that I literally have someone praying for me 24 hours a day. That just blows me away.
I have to admit that it is hard coming here and writing every day about my cancer. I do have weak moments, where I can’t get off the couch because my heart is breaking so much. I have had long and often times angry talks with God on more than one occasion. I have asked, like Jesus did, that this cup be taken from my hand.
And he gently pushes my outstretched arm back to my chest, cup still resting in its original place.
And then I read your comments. They give me such hope, and are such an encouragement to me. I read every single last one of them, and often go back and re-read them when I am having my “cant get off the couch” days. You are ministering to me when you leave comments- It comforts me both on the “thumbs up!” days, and the “rainy” days.
Yesterday I didn’t post because I didn’t want to hinder what the Lord was doing on my blog. I didn’t want to step up and interrupt the Holy Spirit from blessing me through you. I wanted to, boy did I want to. Remember my post about being an introvert now? But I didn’t. How could I?
Your comments were so kind, I had no idea that I was touching so many lives through sharing my cancer journey. Wait, that gives it owner ship… my journey through cancer. I just want to be His vessel, I want His light to shine through me at every turn in this honestly horrific experience. I want to be known as His child, not the girl that has cancer.
Many of you have talked about how strong I have been through all of this. I want to share with you something. I am only strong because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. I don’t know if I could face this with out knowing Him. I don’t know if I could face what my family has been through with Emma Grace without Him. He is what gives me strength, so when you think about how strong I am…. give Him all of the praise on that one… He is the rightful owner, after all!
Thank you for blessing me yesterday, as I laid on the radiation table, I thought about the then 600 some comments on my blog and just smiled. You all did that for me. It makes this journey so much more bearable to know that I have literally thousands of people praying for me and cheering me on a day.
And for that reason alone I am humbled….
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15/30
Tomorrow will mark the half way point in my radiation treatments! So I am going to throw a party of sorts on my blog. Here is how it works:
Leave me a comment and in it tell me where you are from. (If you haven’t commented before, now is your chance to do so!) I am amazed at the map I have in my sidebar, all of the red dots mean that someone in that spot came to my website (the bigger the dot, the more times you came) since May 21! Yesterday alone I had 10,000 hits! That is just so very amazing to me!
Before I go, I have to tell you a “God Moment” I had this afternoon while at radiation. First, while sitting in the waiting room, I met a woman who has breast cancer. I have seen her before, but today we struck up a conversation. We began talking about treatments and their side effects. She was completely bald, but but had a glow on her face that I cant describe. I looked in her eyes, and saw tears as she said “I would gladly trade the damage done to my nails, the nights sitting on the bathroom floor shaking, and every hair on the top of my head for a fighting chance to beat this thing.” It was all I could do not to break down right there.
Then, after my radiation treatment, I was talking to the radiation tech. She told me that Friday night her husband, her and eight other couples went out, like they often do, and then she said something that amazed me. She said that they prayed for me.
Me. Out of everyone in that treatment facility they could have prayed for, they prayed for me.
After giving her a hug, there was a small bounce in my step as I left 21st Century Oncology this afternoon.
Today I am thankful for my new friend who has breast cancer. Her words really struck a chord with me. I am thankful for my friend and technician who prays for me, and I am thankful that tomorrow marks my halfway point for radiation treatments, and I am thankful for you… You all have been such a source of encouragement to me the last few months. I cant thank you enough.
God is so very good to me.
Dont forget to leave me a comment and tell me where you are from!
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