Radiation, that is 
(I swallowed my pride and posted this picture…)
As I close this chapter in my journey, I look back and realize that I need to change some things in my life. I think the thing that I realize most is I put too much pressure on myself in attempt to try to please people, and I just cant afford to do that, especially right now. Right now is the time to be selfish with my energy and I give myself permission to do that.
I read this on 38lemon:
Be selfish. Now is the time to take care of yourself. In a lot of ways, this will test your friendships. Will your friends understand your relative unavailability or not? Certain friendships may fall off because of this. Other friendships will be steadfast. Don’t be afraid of that dynamic.
Anyone who has had a life altering experience can relate to those words.
Thank you to all of you who commented on my last post, I, again, read every single one. It was so hard for me to hit the “publish” button, Laura can attest to that fact. But I am glad I did, I cried harder last night than I have since cancer entered my life, and that is okay, it is okay to feel all alone, as long as you don’t stay in that spot for too long.
See, I do have bad days! But even in my bad days, I realize I am so enormously blessed…
Now celebrate with me!! I am done with radiation!
WOO HOO! Congratulations on making it through radiation!
Yippee !!
Your are such an inspiration. I admire your honesty and courage. Prayers said for you on this special day.
Congratulations, Heather. It is good to see you smile. Don’t feel bad about crying. Don’t feel bad about being scared. Don’t feel bad about any of the emotions you are having. You have had so much to bear. Just remember, Jesus spent a lot of time alone in prayer to God asking NOT to be nailed to the cross and Paul asked for the thorn in his flesh to be taken away. In this life we all have different crosses we bear but it isn’t always easy to bear them, it isn’t abnormal to ask why, and it isn’t wrong to ask for God to take them away.
May you feel the comfort of the Holy Spirit more than ever!
God bless you.
I have been reading your blog for about 3 months and I am so blessed by your perseverance in the face of such difficulty and your passion to share your life with others so that they may see Jesus in you. Many prayers are being said for your strength to return and your body to be physically restored by Our Great Healer!
You look great! Congrats!!!!
God bless
Praise God! I pray that God will continue to help you feel good and for complete healing! You look great!
What a wonderful day!!!! You be as selfish as you need to be right now and just take care of YOU. Those friends that fall away, were never true friends to begin with. Congratulations!!!!! and huge (((HUGS))))
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. Hab 3:18
You have been a picture of what it means to walk with Jesus Christ when flowers are falling off fig trees. May this cancer accomplish all it needs to, that you may glorify your Father in heaven, and continue to proclaim His truth and His presence all the days of your life. Run, Heather, Run.
Mourning into dancing, sorrow into joy.
So happy that this part of your journey is over! God totally has a plan that is so big for you–and it has already begun. You do know how much you’ve ministered to all of US while you’ve gone through this, right?!? In the midst of this trial, you’ve been given a ministry and so many have been blessed by God through your words. Thank you for sharing both the good and the bad, for He can be given glory through both!
You are so blessed.
Woooooohooooooo! I am doing the happy dance for you! This is a milestone to be celebrated. I hope your body keeps getting stronger and stronger and you feel great soon!
Very excited for you that you have come through that “dark night” with your faith intact. You have come “through the darkness into the sunshine” as Tess once said on Touched By An Angel. Enjoy some sunshine!
I know that the road ahead will still have bumps and detours but you have proved, probably even to yourself, that you can handle whatever life throws your way.
When the bad days come, and they still will because that’s just part of life, you can look back on this journey through your journal and remember that you didn’t know how you’d survive this, but you have and you can again through the little things that come your way, and the major life altering things!
Now take the time to enjoy your life with your family and friends!
Many blessings and prayers for a long happy life!
Christina
I hope that you see a glimpse of how many lifes you are touching – daily. You are truly walking with Jesus and are a shining example for all of us! Thank you!
YES!!
I know what your feeling! When I had my last radiation, I walked out of that hospital with the biggest smile on my face and a wonderful feeling of relief!! You think of YOU girl! I know what you mean about friends. You might just be surprised how many will prove their love for you through your trouble-ing time. I was!! Hang in there girl! Sue
Congratulations!
What you said is so true. When my mother died and I was deeply grieving, I found out who my true friends were. They stay in good times and in bad. You deserve to be selfish and careful with your energy right now. The true friends will not let you down, even when you have nothing to give.
xoxoxo
whohoo!!!! so glad Radiation is finished!!!! Still keeping you in prayers.
You are such a blessing and inspiration too many!!! Have a GREAT Weekend. hugs,
Kerley’s
You did it!!!!!!High five out to you. I was praying for you last evening and thought of you often throughout my shift at work. You have climbed a big mountain in the way that was best for you. Congrats!!!!!! Enjoy your summer with the kids and have fun. YOU deserve to take care of you, with no demands or expectations. Live Large.
May the lord continue to bless you and your family
Dawn
I’m glad you posted the picture. Did you know that you have peace in it?
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
from Ottawa, Canada.
ROCK ON GIRL!
Yeay!!!!!
You’ve been on my heart so so much today I’m thrilled to read this post. You are such a blessing Heather, your brutal honesty is so refreshing, I feel priviledged to have been able to follow your journey. Thank you for sharing this song, could you please tell me what’s the title and artist, I would love to get this song, I was rockin with you!!
Congratulations on finishing radiation. Im so happy for you!
I am so happy for you dear Heather and I am so happy that you brought Minerva into our lives.
The Pilgrim Pals love you both!!…Love Terry
Heather,
It’s true..you are beautiful. I’m glad this chapter is over and pray for you to rest and regain strength for the journey. Don’t forget it’s not about how you feel, it’s about what you are allowing God to do through you.
Hugs and prayers,
Michelle
Dear Heather;
I have been following your blog since your diagnosis (forwarded by someone, I believe). First of all congratulations on the end of treatments. Secondly, I want you to know that while I have really admired you through your whole experience it’s your previous entry which makes me RESPECT YOU unbelievably. Raw. Real. Unapologetic. Exposed.
It’s how you should be at times. No need to always be strong. No need to always include scripture. Sometimes it’s not the right time. Doesn’t make you any less spiritual or close to God. It only makes you human.
Take good care. Keep on posting. I love your honestly. It makes me think I need to be more that way.
Oh Heather! I’m so glad that this chapter is closed for you. You truly are an inspiration, in.every.sense.of.the.word. In EVERTHING you do. God Bless you!!
Placing that mommy kiss on your noggin. Keep smiling, girlfriend!
You’re beautiful, you’ve inspired…time for yourself and your family is not selfish in my eyes. I have experienced life altering events…I can’t believe myself and others lived through them…I understand.
Very recently I have discovered many persons within the world of blogging who are not as they seem…not truly what they profess through blogging. They think they are, but they’re not. I’ve been saddened, and I pray for them. That is said to say this…I am truly blessed by your openness, kindness and your faithfulness to God.
Always hugs and prayers from me to you.
Dear Heather,
Congrats on finishing up the radiation. You’ve been in our thoughts and prayers often every day. Your posts are always an insight into your vulnerability and humanity – always though giving God the glory and praise. Take care dear one – and give Easton, Eli, Emma and Mark a big hug from us.
Heart hugs,
Heidi
Hey sweets!
Congrats! I’m so happy for you. We just got internet back after the move, so I’m catching up. You are the first
I’m SO Proud of you. You made it
Love you. Tons.
me *wink*
You are wonderful, I am glad you posted the picture… It represents a season of your life… In every one of your posts, I always see your faith, even in the ones where you are sad, or thinking out loud.
Remember, when Job went through all of his sufferings… He said something like …my ears have heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you. Through all of his sufferings, he came to see God in a way he never had before.. maybe that will be you to with this whole situation
I can tell you already have had some pretty awesome moments with God through your blog writings. Blessings Heather, you are an inspiration
Yes!!! One more step on this path behind you. You are looking fabulous! Keep it up – there are so many prayers floating heavenward for you and your family. Have a great weekend.
PRAISE GOD!!!
Rejoicing *loudly* with you, Heather!
Congratulations Heather! You are a beautiful woman both inside & out!
Kimberly
Hi Heather, I’m just checking in on you, making sure you are getting the
much deserved rest you need now. Let the Lord restore you to a renewed health and peace. ~*~Love to you and your hubby and 3 great kids!~*~
Praying all of this for you in Ca. Laurel
Dear Heather,
I bet you’re thrilled to be done with radiation (: You look amazing by the way. You know, I think deep down every Christian has felt the way you did during a crisis (in your previous post)….”what is God’s plan for my life, why don’t I see it clearer, He’s still there right”? You have the courage to post it and let others see you are a normal Christian going through a crisis. I told my husband about you and your blog and he said wow, I can’t imagine having the courage to post such honest thoughts. There’s so many verses in the Bible that talk about being tested, being tried and my personal favorite is the refiner’s fire. I heard a great sermon on that subject over 10 years ago and still I remember it…the refiner (ie blacksmith) would have to heat the metal to ridiculously hot temperatures and after, the purity of the metal shone through and it was completely pliable and bendable. What I loved about that illustration was the imagery of God being the refiner, testing and purifying his children in the same way. Heating up with trials and resulting in a purer product.
I am truly sorry you have to be going through this but maybe it’s a tiny comfort to know you are reaching many people. I’ve read through some of the comments here on your blog and many others (including me!) find your posts uplifting and edifying. I really think it’s ok to have crappy days because they always lead to better ones where you appreciate the blessings, like you listed in your posts. You are truly a strong, Godly woman and you are reflecting Christ in your blogging. The goal of every Christian is to be more like Christ and who can imagine the suffering He endured, who could empathize better than Him the pain of what you’re going through? Keep your chin up, hug those beautiful kids of yours and focus on getting healthy! Still praying for you.
Molly (:
Gosh, you look radiant in that picture with the sign! And your nails are done! Truly, The Lord has given you such grace to go on with such spunk and inspiration to the rest of us!
When I wake up in the middle of the night (which is LOTS, being in this silly perimenopausal time in my life!), I pray for you.
Thank you, thank you for sharing your story and for the honor of coming alongside you in prayer.
In Christ,
Colleen
Yes, I also noticed the beautiful nails! You are a beautiful woman inside and outside! Thankful with you that the radiation is DONE! Amen.
Heather,
Everyday I come and read your next posting. As I sit here with tears in my eyes, I feel like you are a friend giving me the news. I have never met you, and I probably never will. However, through your daily posts, the pictures and prayers I feel like we have been friends for life. I look at your smile in the last picture and feel as though I am right there with you, cheering you on, telling you your did it!! I am so very proud of you. I pray for you everyday…I say “God, help Especially Heather in…” and I continue with whatever He has laid on my heart. You are an inspiration to us all and a testimony to HIM to all that have read this, to all those in the hospital and most important to you children. They will ALWAYS remember (even when they are 92) how stong, how brave and how much their Mom loved the Lord…she Loved the Lord through one of the toughest times a person can have in their life.
Just know, that you are cared about, you are never alone and here is a Hug through the computer {{ Heather }}.
Judy
Yay! You look wonderful. Keep taking care of yourself.
Hi Heather, congratulations on completing radiation! What a milestone, I know it’s a relief to be done with it. Katie
Bravo!!!
So happy for you!! Lots of love and prayers from down here!
Angie from Mexico
I hadn’t stopped by in awhile and so I was just catching up with your blog. Wow! You certainly have had a lot of ups and downs recently! I celebrate with you in seeing an end to radiation and chemo, for now. Also, in getting to go to Women of Faith, how wonderful that will be for you and for your mom! My heart wonders with yours, “What are you doing God?!?!” And my soul praises with yours that ultimately, God is good.
Take care,
Amy
Heather…Awesome!
As I looked at your photo all I could think about was Psalm 45…the King is enthralled with your beauty! And you are beautiful through and through. I found an article that I wanted to share with you so I hope you take some time to read the article and feast on Psalm 45. Press on, Mighty Warrior!
http://www.briomag.com/briomagazine/spiritualhealth/a0007258.html
Congratulations! I can so remember my last day too.
http://justabeachkat.blogspot.com/2006/06/last-day-of-radiation.html
I threw a party for the girls in the office a week or so later and posted pics of that too on my blog. It’s a time to celebrate.
Love your photo with your sign. You look fantastic!
You go girl!
Hugs!
Kat
Good Night Heather, It is 10:00 pm out here in Ca. I hope this post finds
you unable to read because you are sleeping like a log with your honey right beside you, both of you sleeping with lighter spirits and great peace
and joy in your hearts. Comfort, sweet Jesus comfort surround you as you rest and heal, body, spirit and soul. ~*~Restful and Healing thoughts to you tonight with love~*~Laurel
I’m so happy for you that it is done…and do just that. Put your energy into yourself…heal yourself and be in peace with God and your family, Everyone will understand
Celebrating with you Heather.
Prayers, hugs & love.
Praising God that this is over!!!!
Dear Heather,
Thank you so much for all your good wishes and congratulations on finishing radiation. What a wonderful step to finish! Just remember that the skin can sometimes be more sore whilst healing than during the treatment. Don’t worry as it is normal!
Thinking of you,
Minerva
I just found your website….and I celebrate with you this glorious day of being finished with the radiation!
In your honor, my duaghter and I went outside and picked raspberries….and danced in the cool breeze of the morning.
We will visit back often, and during our days we will think of you…..a woman that we only know from her couragous words and pictures, that she shares…..to help us all realize that each day is a blessing and that we are all glorious gifts in this world.
Peace and love, Tara Marie
Congratulations! You glow with the love of God in you and are such an inspiration for those of us going through our own trials (which are nothing like yours). Keep on being you! Many blessings, Joanne