A Place For Ministry Wives asks:
“What makes you want to stay on earth so badly?”
“Why do we fight so hard to “stay”?
First and foremost, life is a terminal disease. We were never promised tomorrow. My cancer did not change the outcome of my life or its final destination. I am going to die, cancer didn’t change that outcome. You are going to die, and whatever you are facing hasn’t changed that outcome either.
Look at it this way, we are only here for a short time, some of us shorter than others. Before the fall (Adam and Eve sinned) we were not created to experience death, but created for life. It was our sin that made death a reality for us.
Every living creature instinctively fears death.
If we had no fear of death, we might become so fanatical in our pursuit of death that we wouldnâ€™t be willing to face the serious problems this world sets before us.
I believe that Christs calling on my life is bigger than myself. I believe that he has given me a thorn in my flesh so that I might boldly proclaim Him through out my sickness. I believe that he has called my family, even my Emma Grace to be a witness of how he cares for us, even in our deepest darkest moments of despair. I believe that He knew, before I was born, that I would praise him through this storm, despite this storm. I believe that He knew, before Emma Grace was born, that her father and I would praise him through her storms.
Now, that is not to say that I don’t long to be in my heavenly home, because I do. But His ways are perfect, and I must depend on that.
Then there is my family. I want to live for them, I want to hold my grand babies and watch them grow up. I want to see my children graduate, go to college, get married. I want to see my husband walk Easton down the Isle on her wedding day. I long for those moments, even more so now.
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, â€œMy grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.â€ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christâ€™s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christâ€™s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
-2 Corinthians 12:8-10
That is my life verse (which was asked in my comments). I cling to that verse on a daily basis. I love the way that The Message puts it:
Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,
My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to sizeâ€”abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
His grace is enough. It is all I need. His strength comes into its own in my weakness.
Life is a gift, it is His gift to me.
How can I refuse it?