Comments on: Prognosis and children…

By: vikyi

vikyi — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 07:55:15 +0000

Good Site! Keep Doing That!s

By: Kerry

Kerry — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 17:46:12 +0000

When I read this ..I agree its not long enough.
When I was first dxed with a different cancer non hodgkins lymphoma a blood cancer that was stage 4 and in the bone marrow. No donor available.
They told me three months. At the time my kids were 11, 13, 15 and we had a nephew living with us who was 16. I looked at the doctor right in the eye and said *so its terminal* He said * yes however very treatable* With his word *treatable* I felt okay we can fight this thing.
Its funny I look back and think of one thing he said ..And that was say a prayer for me that I have the knowledge to fight it with everything out there.
In the first three months it was grueling..I won’t lie. It was. But my focus stayed on making sure the kids knew I love them and getting them ready if I didn’t make it. But something told me I wouldn’t die. Something deep within said ..*You will be ok!* Just a gut feeling I guess.
I remained focused on family and day to day stuff. No matter how rotten I felt mentally emotionally or physically..I still had my family right there pulling for me to survivor. So when I think back it was a grueling time but a very sweet time to know how others felt about me and all of us.
Time no matter how much we have is so precious.
I would of never thought back then I would be here ten years later and still doing relitively well. I still deal with cancer daily so does my family.

My doctors never dwelled on the issue of how much time I had left after the first time. However they told me that my disease was chronic and would return which it did in 2000 and 2001 . I was treated with clinical trials and I am here to say…Give it all you got and what the doctors have to help you move forward. With strong faith its doable.

As a Mom I don’t thing there is never enough time with our children. When we have cancer..we are always fighting the issues of time..I wanted more

By: Kandy

Kandy — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 16:36:15 +0000

I can’t even begin to imagine what its like to deal with the chemo. With my two battles with cancer, both times my tumors were encapsulated, preventing their spread, and while they tried to talk me into chemo and/or radiation after my breast cancer in 1999, I refused. My liver cancer doesn’t respond to chemo or radiation…its get it surgically, or not. So I was incredibly blessed and fortunate.

About the kids…my kids didn’t get to see me until weeks after my first surgery. By that time, I was extremely frail looking (I’d almost died) and they were in shock. For the rest of the YEAR last year they treated me as something fragile, easily damaged, and it was really really hard on them when I came home because they couldn’t associate the emaciated, weakened me to the mom they’d seen leave them 7 weeks earlier. To this day, I believe that had they been there to see me through my entire ordeal, *I* would have recovered better, at least mentally, and *they* wouldn’t have been so terrified at the changes they had no chance to see occur gradually.

Every moment you have with them is precious. I pray for you daily. *hugs*

By: annie

annie — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 13:57:15 +0000

I first want to let you know that you remain in my thoughts and prayers and that I am believing for your healing.
Izzy was given 48 hours. Not cancer i realize, but doctors are not always right… A woman who works with my mother and has a very special needs child was hit by a car last week on her way to work. Her husband cared for the daughter during the day while she worked and provided insurance for the multiple medical needs of the daughter. Today the doctors have said they had to remove over half of her brain and give her 1% chance of living. Makes my heart so sad. I pray daily for God’s love and protection over my life and the lives of those I love, but this life is a temporary one. I see that more everyday.
love to you Heather.

By: evanna

evanna — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 11:38:27 +0000

You hit the nail on the head, Heather. “More time” is NEVER “enough time”. I’ve lived it with my Mom. God gave us much more time than she was originally told and as grateful as I was/am, it wasn’t enough … at least, not from my viewpoint. I’m only 33 …. she was only 58 … it’s only been 8 months, but it feels like a lifetime. As much as I still need my Mom … it’s not in the same capacity as your children need you. I shall continue to remember you to our Father who can do FAR MORE than we can ever ask or IMAGINE!!! Praise His name! Keep the faith! ~ And yeah, those numbers, they stick in a brain like gum in hair, don’t they? May it not discourage you from your fight.

By: Paula Helton

Paula Helton — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 01:53:56 +0000

I just want to tell you that my husband Dave’s prognosis was only 9 to 12 months. He had a glioblastoma. But Jan will be four years and up until this past month, he hadn’t had any recurrence (and with a GBM you ALWAYS have recurrence). I decided that day when they told me that, that I do need to be informed, but their report is nothing more than an educated guess. The doctor’s cannot overrule God. God is the only One who can say, “time’s up.”
Right after Dave’s surgery God spoke to me in an audible voice while I was driving and told me “Don’t be afraid for David. Life and death are in My hands and My hands ONLY. Ultimately sickness has NOTHING to do with it. You must trust Me and trust that My timing is always perfect. When I say it is time for David to die, there isn’t anything you or any doctor can do to keep him alive, BUT until I give the final say that it IS indeed time, there isn’t anything any accident, illness or even any devil in hell can do to take him out.” Now God wouldn’t tell me David will be fine or that he won’t, just to trust Him. I found the most peace in that…definately the “peace that passes all understanding” because I can’t even start to explain how I felt during that time. I told David that while we were there in the hospital I almost felt guilty because so many people around us were facing terrible situations of sickness and trauma, but I felt so securely enveloped in the Hands of God I felt like nothing could touch me. I literally felt like I was floating and my feet were not even touching the ground. I said all of that just to say…..when dealing with cancer (or any sickness) we need to be as informed as we can and educated so we know what we are up against, but I really believe that our “faith” often is not just believing for healing…it’s so much more….our faith needs to say…”Lord I love you and I TRUST YOU WITH MY VERY LIFE and with the lives of my family. I know that you have a plan and a purpose for each of us. I trust you to help me fulfill the plan you have for me whatever it may be.” When we learn to truly trust Him with “our time to go” whether it be today, a year, five years or fifty….that’s where we find true peace and contentment. We already know that God already knows exactly how many days each of us have been allotted. I truly believe He goes out of His way to give us as much time as He can within His perfect will for our lives.

By: k-mama

k-mama — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 22:42:52 +0000

no matter what, in 5 years, or 25, your kids will be glorifying God and serving Him in whatever way they see best and loving you in the process, because of the things you have taught them by word and example. I know you help me every time I read your posts.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 15:38:00 +0000

Hugs and prayers. You are loved by so many.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 02:53:57 +0000

I don’t have cancer but I have similar thoughts at times. I lost my mom in January of this year, I’m 25 & it was too soon. Losing her brought the reality of death to the forefront of my mind at times. I can’t imagine thinking about it with an actual number in mind. I wouldn’t give that number any power though. I think it’s good that your kids see you in your reality, whatever that may be. As they grow up & face challenges they can look to you and know that if you still do your best each day, they can do the same no matter what they are facing.

By: oh amanda

oh amanda — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 18:35:28 +0000

I know this post is a couple of days old, but I’m sure it’s still a fresh emotion. And even tho’ you’ve had tons of great encouragement, I just wanted to add mine (and hope it is encouraging!)

As I was reading, I was just reminded of Hezekiah. He thought he was going to die. Then he asked God to prolong his life. And just like that God gave him 15 more years.

I know the doctors are saying 3-5. And even if they could see and know all and IF that was true physically–God still has the final say. But the best part of that story is that Hezekiah asked God and God said, “Sure!” And He’ll do the same for you!

By: groovyoldlady

groovyoldlady — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:31:59 +0000

I’m bawling right now. I’m going through some trials right now, but they are all (hopefully!) temporary and in the long run won’t amount to anything. Here I’ve been stressing and fuming and worrying…Thanks for putting some REAL perspective on it all.

I have so much to be thankful for!

And so do you.

May God grant you another bazillion years and may they be full of joy!

By: Tara

Tara — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 12:15:30 +0000

Heather,
I’m not going to pull any punches. There is never a good time to lose your mother. Jim’s mom died of breast cancer in April. He is 30 something. That didn’t make it easier. You are fighting to give your kids every day possible. You are also imparting truth into their lives. You are making not every day count, but every moment count. Every child’s mother should do that. I should do that, but I do not. You are not only teaching your readers about faith and love and life, but about mothering. Thank you.
TK

By: Overwhelmed With Joy!

Overwhelmed With Joy! — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 07:27:03 +0000

You know, Heather, I think of you a lot these days. It’s far too easy to put myself in your shoes and feel absolute terror at the thought of leaving my son when he’s so young. I find myself wondering how I would handle a cancer diagnosis. Would my faith in God falter or would it grow stronger, as you faith obviously has? Cancer is quite rampant in our family history so it’s a very real possiblity for me.

The questions and fears you pose in this post are ones I’ve thought myself. And you’re right, there’s not enough time…no matter what.

I’m glad you found a list of cancer survivors who have lived longer than the 3-5 year prognosis. You will be one of those people too!

I’m also glad that you found a local support group. Although your online friends are offering up prayers, I feel better knowing you have people in real life to lean on as well, people that are walking in your shoes.

Know that you continue to remain in my thoughts and prayers!

May God bless you and your family!

By: Heather (HL)

Heather (HL) — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 03:22:47 +0000

Heather,
I have been reading through your story for some time now & greatly appreciate you sharing your journey with us. God is wonderful how he opens up information for us just when we need it. He sends His blessings through your support group, the Internet, this blog… so many ways. Ask & you shall receive – He will give you the strength to carry on through your chemo sessions.

God Bless, HL

By: Me

Me — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 02:21:23 +0000

It’s okay to be afraid.

Read:

http://www.treymorgan.net/2007/05/cancer-changed-my-life.html

By: Tee

Tee — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 22:54:41 +0000

Praying for you. Those numbers the Dr. gave you initially are only numbers. The Lord is the one that numbers are days, not the Dr. PTL!

By: PT-LawMom

PT-LawMom — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 19:20:51 +0000

Heather, I cannot even begin to imagine how you get through each day with that fear in your mind. Your daily witness to others through this blog shows that God has a purpose for your life and hopefully you will live for many years so that you can be the example others hold up to show that people can survive this horrible disease!

Now for a favor, if I may be so bold. My friend, Kim, is a full-time law student raising a teenager and battling breast cancer. She’s been nominated for a $10,000 scholarship for blogging on her battle with cancer while in law school. I was hoping you might consider a post asking others to vote for her. She’s up against 19 other blogs, mostly full-time undergrad students. Obviously, as you know from the money many of us pitched in to help you early on, the money from this scholarship would be a huge help to Kim and her family. Her blog is at: http://blawgcoop.com/lawmom and the voting link is at: http://www.collegescholarships.org/blog/2007/10/08/vote-for-the-winner-of-the-2007-blogging-scholarship/

Thanks!
PT-LawMom

By: Heather

Heather — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 17:20:33 +0000

Heather,
Those of us who have young children/homeschool/etc. do chemo just the way you do…one day at at time, fully reliant on His grace that is sufficient.

I’m glad you were encouraged.

By: lisa

lisa — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 17:08:17 +0000

I really believe Heather that prognosis is just an educated guess. My brother-in-law was diagnosed with brain cancer as well and was given 6 months to live. He beat those odds and lived for 11 more years. It is my hope for you that with all the prayers and love and support that you too will beat those odds and I will be reading your incredibly inspiring blog for many, many more years to come. Always thinking of you and will continue to send you healing thoughts.

By: Tammy

Tammy — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 16:06:56 +0000

Haven’t had a diagnosis myself but have lost a mom when I was 5 to cancer.I pray that I never die when mychildren are young because it was hard to grow up without a mother,but for a strange reason that was part of God’s plan for my life!I do keep you in prayer that you live for a long time.I can tell you I wept for a few days when Amy Whilhoite passed away-yes it was sad but i was also angry that God didn’t answer my prayer the way I wanted it to be–see her out of the hospital and in remission forever.

I am glad that you are in a support group that the people you talk to have been there and done that-more understanding of what you are going through.Hang in there .Just for the record at times I wish deep down doctrs would never give a time line of how long has to live-many go way before it or even long after.Doctors aren’t God.One thing I can asay is people are living longer and better lives with cancer then before-my died of malignment melanoma -almost 45 years ago and now most people recover from it.