So..
October 8, 2007
After last night’s manic post, someone sent me this:
I know that I have said it a dozen times, but in this video you will see a key phrase that I have used through out my cancer journey.
I have cancer, but cancer DOES NOT have me
Amen :)
I cant promise that I will not dwell on the “3-5 year” numbers ever again, but I can promise that when they come to my mind I will remember everything you guys have said, and I will trust that my loving Savior is the only one that knows the numbers of my days… Because He, afterall, gave them to me :)
“There is no such thing in anyone’s life as an unimportant day.”
- Alexander Woollcott
Off to start homeschooling ;)
(watch the movie)
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In other words: Play Nice
31 Responses to “So..”
I would love to hear from you!
Wow. Beautiful.
Praying you will have time to rest and be silly today… ;)
Oh, and for what it’s worth I don’t describe your previous post as manic at all…just real. You struggle with integrity and yet without denying the hope you have in Him. Thank you.
Thank you, Heather, for that encouragement. All we really have is this one day at a time anyway. I am thankful for your writings…your thinking out loud online. I have been struggling with pain and limitations, but you encourage me to take it one day at a time. After all, our times are in His hands. Oh, the peace of sweet surrender.
Blessings,
Jill
I admire your resiliance and determination, hang on to that and your Faith.
Enjoy your Homeschooling.
When I get myself organised I will send you a before and after pic of myself.
Look forward to hearing from you when you have a moment to write.
Love to you and your family and Special thoughts to yourself and Emma right now.
Take Care
Love Carolynn xx :)
Heather,
You sound so much better today. Sometimes it is good to feel sorry for ourselves because it makes us realize what a blessing our lives are, thanks to our heavenly Father.
You may have cancer, but it certainly doesn’t have you, you are so right, make the most of each day, enjoy life to the fullest!
Blessings, hugs, and prayers,
Norma
I pray for peace of mind for you (and for us all!). God bless you!
Dear Heather,
I appreciate your deep truth, as expressed in the previous post, and the movie. It is gorgeous. Blessings to you and your beloved family. Joyce
That is a great video!
When my uncle had cancer, I told my mom that if I was ever diagnosed, I wouldn’t want to know “how long” because whenthe time got closer, I would feel like it was supposed to be the end. She said that I would because it would give me time to do all that I had ever dreamed of. I suppose she was right.
By the way, my uncle was given 6 mo to a year….he WAY outlived that! Remember, it is just an estimate….a number. Only God knows the real date.
Good to see ya back !
“The Soul would have no rainbow if the Eyes had no tears”
Lovely video. And may I just say that because your cancer was taken out, I don’t consider you to have cancer. It is gone for now. I hope you can look at it that way. Someday soon - you will.
I was so glad to see you posting again. I know that when you post you are doing better!!
Blessings on your family
Marie
you sound brighter today…so glad
enjoy homeschooling today
each moment is a gift
I don’t understand why you and others are given numbers? My Dad was given 6 months and he is doing better than ever… It is just about a year now.
God can and will heal you…No numbers needed!
God Bless!
Thanks for sharing…
Cancer doesn’t have you . . . God does!
I may borrow this video for my blog post sometime in the next day or so.
Heather, we are often told that the life expectancy in America for women is around 75 year. My grandmother made it to 103. We are told that if we do this, that, and the other we should live fairly long and enjoyable lives.
But the bottom line is that no one but God knows our appointed time to go home to Him. No doctors. No statistics. No researchers. No diet engineers. Your research and those survivors that you have found are proof of that.
They have to give you a number so that they can move on. They usually give you worst case scenario numbers so that they don’t get sued. Sad, but true. It’s just a number. Not an expiration date.
And…I have a feeling that you are fighting harder than most, have more warriors storming the gates of heaven for you, and have excellent medical care to offer you an above average chance!
Don’t focus on the number. Its just a number.
Prayers and hugs…
So glad to hear your upbeat attitude today! I spent the day at the hospital while my best friend underwent a bilateral mastectomy. The preliminary results are very good and we are praising the Lord! Each day truly is a gift!
~Gina
Heather, I just wanted to come back and tell you how valuable your journey is…valuable because it’s real…the highs, the lows, the plateaus… it’s real.
It’s not possible (and I would argue not healthy) to hide from, deny, cover up, or ignore the challenges and heartaches that come our way. In order for us to experience the truth that sets us free we must first acknowledge our hearts condition. In the end, as you share the struggles the arise with your cancer-altered reality you demonstrate that in our weaknessHe remains strong.
My prayers continue.
The scripture says that “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We ARE hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. There’s no need to deny feeling hard pressed and perplexed. There’s no shame in expressing the feelings of being struck down. Pretending isn’t faith. Grappling with heartache and proclaiming His will not ours…that’s faith. And in all of these things God will prevail…
I’m rambling. I’m sorry. I just felt burdened by any thought that you would feel pressure to “up” and “happy” and “positive” 24/7. Perhaps I’m just projecting my own issues on you… LOL But my personal experience with cancer as a young mother and then my son’s unending journey have often left me feeling vulnerable and uncertain when sharing the struggles and questions. Bottom line is that I’m grateful for the inspiration and power that flows out of your authentic relationship with Jesus.
Thank you.
What a humbling movie. “Beyond the Cancer”. Gosh, I realized that is me,
11 years beyond it. You are on this journey Heather and your beyond is right around the corner, you are on your way. God has great plans for you and He is using you amazingly right now. Your post yesterday sounded normal to me. You still have your mind and this is great!!:) Sometimes our minds can get to thinking too much and cause us to feel anxious, to say the least. You are a blessing to me and I think you are getting beyond so wonderfully as you walk hand-in-hand with Jesus. Have a most wonderful week and be really silly and rest as much as you can.
I love you, Laurie in Ca.
I was thinking of you today. And of numbers. And I thought if I could have the choice to live my life for 80 years without much purpose or without leaving a mark, or 50 and leave a sea of lives touched in my wake, which life would I choose? It’s not about the quantity of our sunrises to sunsets. But our paths while the sun is shining on us. And the sun still shines on you. And on me. Thanks for reminding me to live it. I am sure that sounds disconnected. But, well. It’s difficult to describe how moved your story makes me.
Also praying you’ve had time to rest & be silly today… thanks for sharing the movie! It’s wonderful, powerful, & amazing.
God Bless, HL
What wonderful support you have and God has his hands upon you and your family..You are an ispiration and touch the hearts of all who read bout your journey… I wanted to leave you this vision I have of mother’s prayers…I always picture a mom’s prayer going up to heaven, and it has a special pink ribbon. And God’s hands reaches out to them as fast as he can gather them, he holds them close to his heart, and honors them, because they are filled with so much of a mother love and tears.
My doctor gave me 3-6 years for my grade II astrocytoma. My wife is pregnant with our first. I go over those thoughts too… I keep repeating to myself, I’m only 24 years old. I’ve barely begun life, and now it’s going to end this quick? But as soon as that stuff enters my head, I know that there’s someone trying to get to me, so I pray hard as hell to get him out :) After my doctor told me the prognosis, (and after my wife and parents stopped balling their eyes out) he looked us straight in the eyes and said that no two cases are the same, and even though he can only give us the average he sees, that it doesn’t mean I won’t be going in for my annual MRI in 20 years. So that made me feel better having a doctor say that.
Anyway, I know exactly where you are at. Just keep praying, and keep in mind lots of people are praying for you too!
oops, I posted this under the wrong blog entry, but y’know what I’m talking about :)
“But it is still my consolation, and I rejoice in unsparing pain, that I have not denied the words of the Holy One.” Job 6:10 :-)
Regarding statistics about your cancer, I highly recommend Stephen Jay Gould’s article, “The Median Is Not The Message”.
http://cancerguide.org/median_not_msg.html
Heather –
I visited your dads church site.. I loved looking at it and reading his blog posts..
God bless,
Sallie
I’m so amazed that you are homeschooling through all this… but I guess I shouldn’t be. You are a great mom and you have such determination and spunk! You are such an inspiration.
I tried to email you about the homeschool blog awards. I know you are probably wayyyyyyy too busy to do anything with the group, but know that you are missed… and we love you. :)
Praying still. Also - I voted for your friend, Kim. :)
Love in Him,
Heather aka Sprittibee
Thanks for bringing this to our attention! I’ve voted for Kim. Hope you’re feeling better!
I haven’t read all your posts but I’m pretty sure they’re as inspiring as those that I have read. Very good…actually I once prayed to God to give a cancer so that I’ll become weak and then when I’m already weak, I’ll start becoming like good guy who would spend his remaining days being holy, that way I could go to heaven. It was crazy, I realized. Now I just pray for the will of God to happen to my life and whatever may come, I hope that I will become as enthusiastic and as grateful to God like you are Heather. Indeed, nobody can question the ways of God for they are always perfect in any way. People may fail us, but never can God fail us. Amen. Let God be our strength now and forever! Amen.
Hey Heather,
I was one of Amy Wilhoite’s best friends and I found your blog through her. I just wanted to let you know I am praying for your healing and also the daily strength to be the wonderful Mom you are. What an inspiration you are! :)
Thank you for willing to be transparent and honest — you are truly an encouragement to me.
Heather I love ready your inspiring messages, my husband had a grade IV Astrocytoma (GBM) at 37 years. Always remember you don’t have an expiry date on your foot, there are so many research projects and clinical trials going on…you never know what wonderful things will happen. God is in the miracle business!!
You are only human, you have down times. Praying for 50!
Done! And she’s in the lead. ;O)