ETA: “Anonymous” has replied in my comments, yet I don’t have the energy to answer his/her questions so here is my challenge to each of you- write him/her back in my comments and answer his/her questions with your own answers, if you so choose. I trust that you will keep your dialog cordially civil 
Then maybe you should feel honored to have cancer. If it’s God’s will for you to have it and all. Maybe there is no God and you’re just reaching for air castles and going through this life alone to have nothing but sleep on the other side.
I received this in my comments on “Trust and Cancer”, and wanted to reply to it individually. First of all, thank you “Annonymous” for taking the time to write me and ask this question. I can tell, by the way you asked it that you don’t believe in God, but I want to point out that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not just “reaching for air castles”
I do not feel “honored” to have cancer, I would gladly give up the horrible sleepless nights, the chemo, the loss of my hair and 6 weeks of radiation, the lack of energy and just plain feeling crappy for my old life…. and I don’t think that this is Gods PERFECT will for my life. It is his PERMISSIVE will, we gave up His PERFECT will when Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden. That is no longer an option for any of us, death is eminent for every single one of us. I feel “honored” that I got a wake up call and choose to live every day to the fullest… That is what I am thankful for
Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we’re proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. It started when God said, “Light up the darkness!” and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.
-2 Corinthians 4:6
I choose to look at cancer as a gift because it has caused me to completely give up control and depend on my Savior, 100%. It has brought me to my knees, where I should have been in the first place. It has brought my family closer, my friendships closer. It has given me a new and much needed reality check. That is what is a blessing in my life, that is what I feel honored to experience, that is why I choose to view cancer as a gift instead of a curse.
That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
-Romans 8:28
Something good has come out of all that I have been through. Look at this blog, look at all the people who faithfully read and pray for me. Look at the money that was raised to send me and my family to Mayo, if that isn’t Gods perfect hand in the midst of my families pain, I don’t know what is. This fight is all compassing, and down right hard, but to know that I am right in the middle of His grace and provision gives me strength to fight like mad to overcome.
God is definitely shaping me. He is definitely shaping my family. He is definitely shaping my husband and my children. I can’t tell you how many times I have asked the question “Why us, Lord, Why now” And everytime I ask, He gently pushes me deeper into his word, into His promises
As you can see, I’m about to go the way we all end up going. Know this with all your heart, with everything in you, that not one detail has failed of all the good things God, your God, promised you. It has all happened. Nothing’s left undone—not so much as a word.
-Joshua 23:14
Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.
Isaiah 43:2-3
And to your last question:
Maybe there is no God and you’re just reaching for air castles and going through this life alone to have nothing but sleep on the other side.
I know that he is real because I have a living miracle living under my roof (among other things). I have seen Him in my daughters life even before birth. I have witnessed every. single. doctor being blown away that she is here today, much less doing as well as she has done. That is just one example 
…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
-Philippians 4:11-13
And I will leave you with this, and thanks again for drawing out of me what I needed to be reminded of.
Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good.
He gets the last word; yes, he does.
1 Peter 5:10
By His Grace Alone,
-Heather
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An excellent response, Heather. Thank you for sharing it…
Praying for you through this journey is definitely an honor.
Witnessing His faithfulness in the storm is a gift.
I’m grateful.
Heather,
Beautiful thoughts. I had never thought of God’s will that way, “perfect” vs “permissive”…interesting and something for me to ponder…
d:)
He gets the last word; yes, he does.
1 Peter 5:10
Amen, Amen, and Amen!
“Maybe there is no God and you’re just reaching for air castles”
Dear Anonymous, there is a God and He is reaching out to you right now. If you seek Him, I promise He will help you find Him.
Your honesty and vulnerability have blessed me in ways I cannot begin to describe. Through your words, the Lord, is shaping me. I am thankful for the knowledge that, daily, with my words, I can offer prayers for you.
Way to go Heather. I to have so many miracles in my life and I know that God is the reason. My heart and many prayers go with you on this journey.
always hope, Kerry
How beautifully perfect that He gave you every answer for this lost soul right from His living word, that is so alive and always perfect. What an amazing example you have given us on how to use His words to answer those who doubt. Hopefully, anonymous will look in His word and be touched and turn toward His grace. Thank you Heather, I know the Lord will bless you for your good work here. Thank you for allowing Him to use you. You have touched my heart today, as you do many days. Praying for comfort and endurance for you. Blessings.
I love this post. And still am praying for you. What an inspiration you are! I, too, believe in miracles and have seen and experienced them firsthand. I truly believe that when we “see God” and seek Him, we will see miracles, big and small in our everyday life.
Thank you for sharing. I want to be like you when I grow up!
((Heather)),
How gracious of you to repsond to that poster. I can sense the presence of our Lord through your words. ((hugs))
You are right! Cancer is apart of this world because of the fall and because of death. God doesn’t go around and give people cancer. He does, however, do just what you quoted in the verse. He uses the bad things in this sinful world for our good. A lady in my church, a friend, died this past June of cancer. She was diagnosed a year earlier. She gave her life to the Lord after she found out. At her funeral, my dh (her pastor) gave a wonderful gospel message to all the lost friends and family members. That was her wish. We know of one person who accepted Christ. Her sister is having a hard time letting go, and asking “why” questions. That is when I told her that cancer is bad, but look at all the wonderful things that has happened because of it: she gave her life to the Lord, she was a living testimony the last year of her life, all those people had seeds planted and who knows how many will “sprout” in the future. She could have lived to she was 100 and they could have had many years together, but then she would have died and gone to hell. Instead, she lived till she was 41 and now her sister knows she is with the Lord and will be with her forever! I am trying to comfort them with this, but it is hard. Hang strong! You are a living testimony and I can see all the good that God is bringing about out of this bad thing.
Beautifully said! How truly God brings good from evil. Before we had financial struggles and two of our sons lost vision, we certainly had faith. But I have seen so many little (and not so little) miracles during these times of trial, which make our faith grow stronger.
May God continue to bless you, Heather, with and for your strong faith!
Praying for this truth to set so many free…friend. May it be so!
Awesomely said Heather. God spoke through your words to this individual. You so elegantly without force spoke deep words to all of us yet again.
Love Ya Girl,
Christi
Heather,
This is a perfect example of how God can use our circumstances to reach those that are lost. In your humblesness you shared your journey and because of that, now, Anonymous will be in the prayers of many of us for quite some time. Your fruit is growing and seeds are being planted into others. You are the very image of Christ Heather, you reflected Him well in this post.
with love girl…
Amy Bayliss
Amen.. well said my sister Heather.. my respond to that comment is this..
We don’t choose to go through hardships and trials in life yet…
God walks beside us each step of the way, he sends us encouragers along the way. And because of knowing him personally in our life we have hope and trust in him that he is doing something great in our lives even during these times.
You’re right Heather when we blog it’s not about us it’s about hope, and giving God the Glory and praise in all circumstances. We know it’s all about his will in our life. He has directed our paths in life and see’s all things before they happen and we are left with choices of giving up when when we face difficulties, or to continue in our journey knowing he is in control and he does all things well in his time.
Stay encouraged heather and you touched that persons life enough to make them respond, I sensed that person is seeking something in life, and that comment was really a question needed to be answered for their own peace of mind. Hugz
Well said, sweet friend.
Hi Heather.
Thank you for posting this.
Praying for you,
Marie
i’m honored, humbled and thankful to read your blog, your heart.
Great post! If the person will only seek after the true and living God, they WILL find HIM, alive and well and He will have the last work. PTL!
Beautifully said Heather. I will pray for annonymous that she will truly seek the Lord and that she will come to know Him and know without a shadow of a doubt that He is real!
Love, Gina
Still praying for you and being blessed by you in the process! God is so good. I hate to even ask on here, but what translation do you use? I love it.
May God richly bless you Heather.
Oh Heather, that was well said and needed to be said. It’s interesting how some people react to people with cancer who know the Lord and rely upon Him for everything. That comment and your response brought to mind when I was going through my treatment and bone morrow transplant, and a comment was made about me that God gave me cancer as punishment for something I’d done. I don’t think so, because I feel that he allowed me to go through the tough ordeal knowing that he would be right there with me all the way. My mom made the comment after I came home from the hospital that I’d never know the number of lives I’d touched just because of what I’d gone through. Heather, you’ll never know the number of lives you’ve touched and helped just by sharing your ordeal with others. God has given you a gift for sharing and I’m thankful for this, in your own way you have again helped me as at times I struggle in my own walk with God.
Hugs and prayers,
Norma
You encourage me so much. God bless.
Very good response Heather. I will pray for this person that someday they might find the redeeming blood of Jesus and accept Him as Savior. You never know. This person might come to know Him because of your response and you showed love rather than malice. I am proud of you!
Still praying everyday and loving you from afar here in Oregon.
Shari
P.S. I know you would never show malice or anger. I worded that wrong up there. Sorry!
My prayers continue for you Heather, and thank you for your humble response to annonymous. Some years ago I experienced my battle with *C* and I always stated to others that questioned my *FAITH* in dealing with my *C* “God did not cause my cancer, He allowed my cancer to give me the chance for a closer walk with Him” and I still truly believe this to be true! As a Christian I believe that God has a mission for each of us…and I don’t question *what or why* I “walk the walk”!! Thank you Heather for continuing your blog!
All truth and so well said. Your poise in and understanding of this circumstance continue to allow God’s reflection of all He is in the world to shine through. You remain in my prayers…
That is a beautiful post Heather. One each of us could use to read daily as reminders of what God does have in store for us. We are only able to see the puzzle pieces…and to be honest, I am so thankful, I would be terrified to know the whole puzzle picture, it’s not in my human mind to be able to handle such a thing. I am learning so much by reading your blog. And I am also learning FAR more by reading my Bible. It has become an awesome part of my life and for that I am thankful!
So, so proud of you. Loved the Scriptures you used to emphasize and clarify your points. You remind me daily to re-focus and have a ready defense for my faith. So glad to be part of God’s family along with you, dear Heather. Praying for you tonight before I head off to bed.
Heather,
You have such an eloquent gift to be able to present God’s message in such a clear and resounding way! You are an amazing woman who knows a blessing when she’s presented with it! How sad that anonymous doesn’t know the peace that comes with His blessings! Thank you for never shying away from sharing!
In His Love and Blessings,
annb
Great response. I saw what “annonymous” posted right before I posted my response to that post. You handled it with grace and dignity, just like you are handling life right now.
Amen, Heather, Amen. Praying for you always, and now praying for “anonymous” to come to know Him as we do. In His Grip, Lynnebee
What a beautiful, well thought-out response.
Tough question with a good answer!!
Thanks for the encouragment .I am praying that soon you will start to feel better!!
Radiation has made you so smart, and so beautiful, and so SHINY. I love you. I love Jesus in you Heather, especially!
Whether one is a believer or not, WHO sends such a mean spirited and abusive comment to anyone, let alone someone who is sick and fighting a battle? What anger and sadness must motivate an act like that. I am not a believer in the same way you are, Heather, but I am a believer in people with spirit and guts, and you have those in spades. That commenter is a sad, sad person, and I feel very sorry for them. And I wish the best for you.
You Go Girl! God is certainly using you in many, many ways! You make me proud!
Hugs!
Kat
That was just AWESOME Heather!!! I’ll be honest, I had some anger and then just complete sadness for this person. Oh, how we want them to find Jesus through this….your story. God is after them. May they find Him.
We pray for you daily. Peace tonight for you sweet friend.
Fran
TN
What a beautiful, gracious and truth filled response! Although I don’t comment on every post, I read each one and pray even more often!!!!!
Continuing to pray and stand in the gap…
“And underneath are the everlasting arms.”
We know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, for those arms to be real. We feel them carrying, cupping, rocking.
Rest in them, friend…. He is close.
Amen!!
Something I was taught at Bible School was when someone non Christian asks about my being sure of going to Heaven. or the realty of Heaven…You can say, “Lets say for argument sake, Heaven isn’t real, then when you (the non Christian person) and I die we go to “sleep” forever. But lets say I am right and there is a Heaven and Hell, then when you (the non Christian person) dies, you go to Hell and I go to Heaven.” Now it isn’t meant to be used like a nana booboo type thing, but a simplified way to explain end results. I think you did a great job of explaining yourself gracefully.
I wonder about the experiences that have shaped the mind and heart of the person who posted those words to you, Heather. While they were unkind words, I didn’t sense them TRULY being aimed at you. Rather, I felt an overhwhelming emptiness expressed there. A struggling soul who cried out to God (aware or not) by lashing out at you, His servant.
And for all this person has clearly missed in the way of knowing Him and resting in His promises, I pray they did NOT miss Him *this* time. He spoke so clearly through you, Heather. He whispered their name, or perhaps shouted it. And you walked them through His amazing love and your incredible faith. How I pray this person’s heart will soften and be willing to be filled.
Blessings,
~Toni~
Well spoken, my sister in Christ.
Well spoken.
~Leah in Alaska~
De lurking after coming over from Mary. I appreciate what you said. My husband, who is good at this theology stuff it’s sort of his life’s pursuit once said something that has resonated ever since. You see, he’s from the camp that sickness is evil, it’s just plain evil and wrong and God never wills for anyone to be sick. His dad wrote an extensive book on the subject called Authority To Heal, illness is one of those things that we encounter because there is an enemy who hates life and we are engaged in a battle against darkness and death all the time. There are many casualties. (I don’t intend to disagree with you at all so hear me out.)
MY DH and I were discussing the fall, and life cycles, you know, how everything when it dies feeds something that is living and there are vast and wondrous ecosystems that are so wonderfully planned and I asked, “If death wasn’t part of the original plan, how is it that all of this wonder works out this way because of things dying?”
His response, I’ll try to articulate it clearly, was that that is simply another example of how in the midst of the war between life and death, life conitnues to triumph, that God is constantly bringing life out of destruction, victory and hope out of chaos and what we see in nature, in rebirth is the struggle and overall triumph of good, of life, of light.
What you have experienced seems to me to be the same thing. It is not that darkness is not trying to defeat you or that this illness was something God sent you specifically, but he has sent you light to counter the darkness, the blessings you describe are yet again God doing what he does best, working good out of all things, however initially horible.
I recently read Madeline L’Engel for the first time. IN the Wrinkle in time series, I think it’s in A wind at the Door, she talks about all of creation singing together the song by which all things were created and that as long as the song continues to be sung, especially in the face of darkness or the unnamers the light will not be extinguished.
All that to say, you are singing the song, and you are facing the darkness, and you are shining bright in the face of darkness.
Blessings and Love,
Carrien
It sounds too simple but I know God is there, because I can feel it when I pray. Some things are just that simple.
When the most human response to this comment would’ve been to be insulted, feel indignation, anger or outrage, your thoughtful and gentle response proved the working of God in your heart! Thank you for letting God use you and oyur family to encourage the rest of us weaker sisters!
In His Grip of Grace,
Connie
Heather, I haven’t been here for awhile but once again I am amazed at your faith and ability to use words to explain things and reach out to others. I do wonder if “anonymous” is asking you about your faith because he/she is seeking to understand, accept or explain something he or she may have done. Perhaps the commenter feels that God let him/her down and the person wanted God to make something “okay” and “okay” did not happen. Knowing you and your daughter gives me faith in God, a faith that has constantly been under attack my entire life. I seek answers to my questions from your faith and your words and your patience with me, “anonymous” and others who question or doubt is yet another example of your faith and praise of God. You are a source of inspiration and an example of faith that so many of us wish we could be and have. I am glad to see that you aren’t blogging much as you focus on living life and healing. I think that makes your words of faith and wisdom even more powerful. Thank you once again for taking the time to help someone else and I hope that “anonymous” finds the answer to the questions.
Hi Sweetie,
I go away for one day and come back to find some great teaching going on!!
Romans 8:28 sure comes to mind for me here. Life sure is a learning experience from day to day, yet how great is it to know that Our Teacher can be trusted in all things?
Praying this coming week is a restful and good one for you and for your family. Know you are such a humbling example of Gods grace and that you are loved so much.
Laurie in Ca.
I find your response to me interesting and thank you for responding. You’re wrong about saying I don’t believe in god. I don’t necessarily believe in your god. I believe it’s possible that something could exist outside of death.
I have problems understanding how you can attribute your daughter’s life as a miracle of god. She’s cute, no doubt, but she was saved by doctors, not God. She may be a medical miracle, but I don’t see a god-miracle here. If god had a hand in it he did a pretty poor job. Doesn’t she have to take medications constantly? Wouldn’t a god who performed a miracle be able to perform that whole miracle without needing man to back him up? So he performed his miracle and left her with a lifelong debilitating disorder. Nice.
Sure you seem to have love and friends and family rallied around you during this time and that’s wonderful for you, but think about that person who has no one. Does god love you more than sally down the street who is dying alone of cancer? What about that person who doesn’t have the support you have? It’s easy to love when you are loved. It’s easy to be grateful when you’re being handed money and support. But what about those who pray for support and healing and never get it?