Honored to have cancer? A Response:
October 20, 2007
ETA: “Anonymous” has replied in my comments, yet I don’t have the energy to answer his/her questions so here is my challenge to each of you- write him/her back in my comments and answer his/her questions with your own answers, if you so choose. I trust that you will keep your dialog cordially civil :)
Then maybe you should feel honored to have cancer. If it’s God’s will for you to have it and all. Maybe there is no God and you’re just reaching for air castles and going through this life alone to have nothing but sleep on the other side.
I received this in my comments on “Trust and Cancer”, and wanted to reply to it individually. First of all, thank you “Annonymous” for taking the time to write me and ask this question. I can tell, by the way you asked it that you don’t believe in God, but I want to point out that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not just “reaching for air castles” :)
I do not feel “honored” to have cancer, I would gladly give up the horrible sleepless nights, the chemo, the loss of my hair and 6 weeks of radiation, the lack of energy and just plain feeling crappy for my old life…. and I don’t think that this is Gods PERFECT will for my life. It is his PERMISSIVE will, we gave up His PERFECT will when Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden. That is no longer an option for any of us, death is eminent for every single one of us. I feel “honored” that I got a wake up call and choose to live every day to the fullest… That is what I am thankful for :)
Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we’re proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. It started when God said, “Light up the darkness!” and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.
-2 Corinthians 4:6
I choose to look at cancer as a gift because it has caused me to completely give up control and depend on my Savior, 100%. It has brought me to my knees, where I should have been in the first place. It has brought my family closer, my friendships closer. It has given me a new and much needed reality check. That is what is a blessing in my life, that is what I feel honored to experience, that is why I choose to view cancer as a gift instead of a curse.
That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
-Romans 8:28
Something good has come out of all that I have been through. Look at this blog, look at all the people who faithfully read and pray for me. Look at the money that was raised to send me and my family to Mayo, if that isn’t Gods perfect hand in the midst of my families pain, I don’t know what is. This fight is all compassing, and down right hard, but to know that I am right in the middle of His grace and provision gives me strength to fight like mad to overcome.
God is definitely shaping me. He is definitely shaping my family. He is definitely shaping my husband and my children. I can’t tell you how many times I have asked the question “Why us, Lord, Why now” And everytime I ask, He gently pushes me deeper into his word, into His promises
As you can see, I’m about to go the way we all end up going. Know this with all your heart, with everything in you, that not one detail has failed of all the good things God, your God, promised you. It has all happened. Nothing’s left undone—not so much as a word.
-Joshua 23:14
Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.
Isaiah 43:2-3
And to your last question:
Maybe there is no God and you’re just reaching for air castles and going through this life alone to have nothing but sleep on the other side.
I know that he is real because I have a living miracle living under my roof (among other things). I have seen Him in my daughters life even before birth. I have witnessed every. single. doctor being blown away that she is here today, much less doing as well as she has done. That is just one example ;)
…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
-Philippians 4:11-13
And I will leave you with this, and thanks again for drawing out of me what I needed to be reminded of.
Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good.
He gets the last word; yes, he does.
1 Peter 5:10
By His Grace Alone,
-Heather
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Comments
Note From Heather: All comments are welcome, but I reserve the right to delete at any time. All comments are solely the opinions of the individuals submitting them and the publication of them on this blog does not imply my endorsement or agreement. By posting your comments to the blog you are granting me the right to use them. Your submission of a comment constitutes your acceptance of this comment policy.
In other words: Play Nice
99 Responses to “Honored to have cancer? A Response:”
An excellent response, Heather. Thank you for sharing it…
Praying for you through this journey is definitely an honor.
Witnessing His faithfulness in the storm is a gift.
I’m grateful.
Heather,
Beautiful thoughts. I had never thought of God’s will that way, “perfect” vs “permissive”…interesting and something for me to ponder…
d:)
He gets the last word; yes, he does.
1 Peter 5:10
Amen, Amen, and Amen!
“Maybe there is no God and you’re just reaching for air castles”
Dear Anonymous, there is a God and He is reaching out to you right now. If you seek Him, I promise He will help you find Him.
Your honesty and vulnerability have blessed me in ways I cannot begin to describe. Through your words, the Lord, is shaping me. I am thankful for the knowledge that, daily, with my words, I can offer prayers for you.
Way to go Heather. I to have so many miracles in my life and I know that God is the reason. My heart and many prayers go with you on this journey.
always hope, Kerry
How beautifully perfect that He gave you every answer for this lost soul right from His living word, that is so alive and always perfect. What an amazing example you have given us on how to use His words to answer those who doubt. Hopefully, anonymous will look in His word and be touched and turn toward His grace. Thank you Heather, I know the Lord will bless you for your good work here. Thank you for allowing Him to use you. You have touched my heart today, as you do many days. Praying for comfort and endurance for you. Blessings.
I love this post. And still am praying for you. What an inspiration you are! I, too, believe in miracles and have seen and experienced them firsthand. I truly believe that when we “see God” and seek Him, we will see miracles, big and small in our everyday life.
Thank you for sharing. I want to be like you when I grow up!
((Heather)),
How gracious of you to repsond to that poster. I can sense the presence of our Lord through your words. ((hugs))
You are right! Cancer is apart of this world because of the fall and because of death. God doesn’t go around and give people cancer. He does, however, do just what you quoted in the verse. He uses the bad things in this sinful world for our good. A lady in my church, a friend, died this past June of cancer. She was diagnosed a year earlier. She gave her life to the Lord after she found out. At her funeral, my dh (her pastor) gave a wonderful gospel message to all the lost friends and family members. That was her wish. We know of one person who accepted Christ. Her sister is having a hard time letting go, and asking “why” questions. That is when I told her that cancer is bad, but look at all the wonderful things that has happened because of it: she gave her life to the Lord, she was a living testimony the last year of her life, all those people had seeds planted and who knows how many will “sprout” in the future. She could have lived to she was 100 and they could have had many years together, but then she would have died and gone to hell. Instead, she lived till she was 41 and now her sister knows she is with the Lord and will be with her forever! I am trying to comfort them with this, but it is hard. Hang strong! You are a living testimony and I can see all the good that God is bringing about out of this bad thing.
Beautifully said! How truly God brings good from evil. Before we had financial struggles and two of our sons lost vision, we certainly had faith. But I have seen so many little (and not so little) miracles during these times of trial, which make our faith grow stronger.
May God continue to bless you, Heather, with and for your strong faith!
Praying for this truth to set so many free…friend. May it be so!
Awesomely said Heather. God spoke through your words to this individual. You so elegantly without force spoke deep words to all of us yet again.
Love Ya Girl,
Christi
Heather,
This is a perfect example of how God can use our circumstances to reach those that are lost. In your humblesness you shared your journey and because of that, now, Anonymous will be in the prayers of many of us for quite some time. Your fruit is growing and seeds are being planted into others. You are the very image of Christ Heather, you reflected Him well in this post.
with love girl…
Amy Bayliss
Amen.. well said my sister Heather.. my respond to that comment is this..
We don’t choose to go through hardships and trials in life yet…
God walks beside us each step of the way, he sends us encouragers along the way. And because of knowing him personally in our life we have hope and trust in him that he is doing something great in our lives even during these times.
You’re right Heather when we blog it’s not about us it’s about hope, and giving God the Glory and praise in all circumstances. We know it’s all about his will in our life. He has directed our paths in life and see’s all things before they happen and we are left with choices of giving up when when we face difficulties, or to continue in our journey knowing he is in control and he does all things well in his time.
Stay encouraged heather and you touched that persons life enough to make them respond, I sensed that person is seeking something in life, and that comment was really a question needed to be answered for their own peace of mind. Hugz
Well said, sweet friend.
Hi Heather.
Thank you for posting this.
Praying for you,
Marie
i’m honored, humbled and thankful to read your blog, your heart.
Great post! If the person will only seek after the true and living God, they WILL find HIM, alive and well and He will have the last work. PTL!
Beautifully said Heather. I will pray for annonymous that she will truly seek the Lord and that she will come to know Him and know without a shadow of a doubt that He is real!
Love, Gina
Still praying for you and being blessed by you in the process! God is so good. I hate to even ask on here, but what translation do you use? I love it.
May God richly bless you Heather.
Oh Heather, that was well said and needed to be said. It’s interesting how some people react to people with cancer who know the Lord and rely upon Him for everything. That comment and your response brought to mind when I was going through my treatment and bone morrow transplant, and a comment was made about me that God gave me cancer as punishment for something I’d done. I don’t think so, because I feel that he allowed me to go through the tough ordeal knowing that he would be right there with me all the way. My mom made the comment after I came home from the hospital that I’d never know the number of lives I’d touched just because of what I’d gone through. Heather, you’ll never know the number of lives you’ve touched and helped just by sharing your ordeal with others. God has given you a gift for sharing and I’m thankful for this, in your own way you have again helped me as at times I struggle in my own walk with God.
Hugs and prayers,
Norma
You encourage me so much. God bless.
Very good response Heather. I will pray for this person that someday they might find the redeeming blood of Jesus and accept Him as Savior. You never know. This person might come to know Him because of your response and you showed love rather than malice. I am proud of you!
Still praying everyday and loving you from afar here in Oregon.
Shari
P.S. I know you would never show malice or anger. I worded that wrong up there. Sorry! :)
My prayers continue for you Heather, and thank you for your humble response to annonymous. Some years ago I experienced my battle with *C* and I always stated to others that questioned my *FAITH* in dealing with my *C* “God did not cause my cancer, He allowed my cancer to give me the chance for a closer walk with Him” and I still truly believe this to be true! As a Christian I believe that God has a mission for each of us…and I don’t question *what or why* I “walk the walk”!! Thank you Heather for continuing your blog!
All truth and so well said. Your poise in and understanding of this circumstance continue to allow God’s reflection of all He is in the world to shine through. You remain in my prayers…
That is a beautiful post Heather. One each of us could use to read daily as reminders of what God does have in store for us. We are only able to see the puzzle pieces…and to be honest, I am so thankful, I would be terrified to know the whole puzzle picture, it’s not in my human mind to be able to handle such a thing. I am learning so much by reading your blog. And I am also learning FAR more by reading my Bible. It has become an awesome part of my life and for that I am thankful!
So, so proud of you. Loved the Scriptures you used to emphasize and clarify your points. You remind me daily to re-focus and have a ready defense for my faith. So glad to be part of God’s family along with you, dear Heather. Praying for you tonight before I head off to bed.
Heather,
You have such an eloquent gift to be able to present God’s message in such a clear and resounding way! You are an amazing woman who knows a blessing when she’s presented with it! How sad that anonymous doesn’t know the peace that comes with His blessings! Thank you for never shying away from sharing!
In His Love and Blessings,
annb
Great response. I saw what “annonymous” posted right before I posted my response to that post. You handled it with grace and dignity, just like you are handling life right now.
Amen, Heather, Amen. Praying for you always, and now praying for “anonymous” to come to know Him as we do. In His Grip, Lynnebee
What a beautiful, well thought-out response.
Tough question with a good answer!!
Thanks for the encouragment .I am praying that soon you will start to feel better!!
Radiation has made you so smart, and so beautiful, and so SHINY. I love you. I love Jesus in you Heather, especially!
Whether one is a believer or not, WHO sends such a mean spirited and abusive comment to anyone, let alone someone who is sick and fighting a battle? What anger and sadness must motivate an act like that. I am not a believer in the same way you are, Heather, but I am a believer in people with spirit and guts, and you have those in spades. That commenter is a sad, sad person, and I feel very sorry for them. And I wish the best for you.
You Go Girl! God is certainly using you in many, many ways! You make me proud!
Hugs!
Kat
That was just AWESOME Heather!!! I’ll be honest, I had some anger and then just complete sadness for this person. Oh, how we want them to find Jesus through this….your story. God is after them. May they find Him.
We pray for you daily. Peace tonight for you sweet friend.
Fran
TN
What a beautiful, gracious and truth filled response! Although I don’t comment on every post, I read each one and pray even more often!!!!!
Continuing to pray and stand in the gap…
“And underneath are the everlasting arms.”
We know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, for those arms to be real. We feel them carrying, cupping, rocking.
Rest in them, friend…. He is close.
Amen!!
Something I was taught at Bible School was when someone non Christian asks about my being sure of going to Heaven. or the realty of Heaven…You can say, “Lets say for argument sake, Heaven isn’t real, then when you (the non Christian person) and I die we go to “sleep” forever. But lets say I am right and there is a Heaven and Hell, then when you (the non Christian person) dies, you go to Hell and I go to Heaven.” Now it isn’t meant to be used like a nana booboo type thing, but a simplified way to explain end results. I think you did a great job of explaining yourself gracefully.
I wonder about the experiences that have shaped the mind and heart of the person who posted those words to you, Heather. While they were unkind words, I didn’t sense them TRULY being aimed at you. Rather, I felt an overhwhelming emptiness expressed there. A struggling soul who cried out to God (aware or not) by lashing out at you, His servant.
And for all this person has clearly missed in the way of knowing Him and resting in His promises, I pray they did NOT miss Him *this* time. He spoke so clearly through you, Heather. He whispered their name, or perhaps shouted it. And you walked them through His amazing love and your incredible faith. How I pray this person’s heart will soften and be willing to be filled.
Blessings,
~Toni~
Well spoken, my sister in Christ.
Well spoken.
~Leah in Alaska~
[...] Oct 21st, 2007 by Owlhaven Have Faith [...]
De lurking after coming over from Mary. I appreciate what you said. My husband, who is good at this theology stuff it’s sort of his life’s pursuit once said something that has resonated ever since. You see, he’s from the camp that sickness is evil, it’s just plain evil and wrong and God never wills for anyone to be sick. His dad wrote an extensive book on the subject called Authority To Heal, illness is one of those things that we encounter because there is an enemy who hates life and we are engaged in a battle against darkness and death all the time. There are many casualties. (I don’t intend to disagree with you at all so hear me out.)
MY DH and I were discussing the fall, and life cycles, you know, how everything when it dies feeds something that is living and there are vast and wondrous ecosystems that are so wonderfully planned and I asked, “If death wasn’t part of the original plan, how is it that all of this wonder works out this way because of things dying?”
His response, I’ll try to articulate it clearly, was that that is simply another example of how in the midst of the war between life and death, life conitnues to triumph, that God is constantly bringing life out of destruction, victory and hope out of chaos and what we see in nature, in rebirth is the struggle and overall triumph of good, of life, of light.
What you have experienced seems to me to be the same thing. It is not that darkness is not trying to defeat you or that this illness was something God sent you specifically, but he has sent you light to counter the darkness, the blessings you describe are yet again God doing what he does best, working good out of all things, however initially horible.
I recently read Madeline L’Engel for the first time. IN the Wrinkle in time series, I think it’s in A wind at the Door, she talks about all of creation singing together the song by which all things were created and that as long as the song continues to be sung, especially in the face of darkness or the unnamers the light will not be extinguished.
All that to say, you are singing the song, and you are facing the darkness, and you are shining bright in the face of darkness.
Blessings and Love,
Carrien
It sounds too simple but I know God is there, because I can feel it when I pray. Some things are just that simple.
When the most human response to this comment would’ve been to be insulted, feel indignation, anger or outrage, your thoughtful and gentle response proved the working of God in your heart! Thank you for letting God use you and oyur family to encourage the rest of us weaker sisters!
In His Grip of Grace,
Connie
Heather, I haven’t been here for awhile but once again I am amazed at your faith and ability to use words to explain things and reach out to others. I do wonder if “anonymous” is asking you about your faith because he/she is seeking to understand, accept or explain something he or she may have done. Perhaps the commenter feels that God let him/her down and the person wanted God to make something “okay” and “okay” did not happen. Knowing you and your daughter gives me faith in God, a faith that has constantly been under attack my entire life. I seek answers to my questions from your faith and your words and your patience with me, “anonymous” and others who question or doubt is yet another example of your faith and praise of God. You are a source of inspiration and an example of faith that so many of us wish we could be and have. I am glad to see that you aren’t blogging much as you focus on living life and healing. I think that makes your words of faith and wisdom even more powerful. Thank you once again for taking the time to help someone else and I hope that “anonymous” finds the answer to the questions.
Hi Sweetie,
I go away for one day and come back to find some great teaching going on!!
Romans 8:28 sure comes to mind for me here. Life sure is a learning experience from day to day, yet how great is it to know that Our Teacher can be trusted in all things?
Praying this coming week is a restful and good one for you and for your family. Know you are such a humbling example of Gods grace and that you are loved so much.
Laurie in Ca.
I find your response to me interesting and thank you for responding. You’re wrong about saying I don’t believe in god. I don’t necessarily believe in your god. I believe it’s possible that something could exist outside of death.
I have problems understanding how you can attribute your daughter’s life as a miracle of god. She’s cute, no doubt, but she was saved by doctors, not God. She may be a medical miracle, but I don’t see a god-miracle here. If god had a hand in it he did a pretty poor job. Doesn’t she have to take medications constantly? Wouldn’t a god who performed a miracle be able to perform that whole miracle without needing man to back him up? So he performed his miracle and left her with a lifelong debilitating disorder. Nice.
Sure you seem to have love and friends and family rallied around you during this time and that’s wonderful for you, but think about that person who has no one. Does god love you more than sally down the street who is dying alone of cancer? What about that person who doesn’t have the support you have? It’s easy to love when you are loved. It’s easy to be grateful when you’re being handed money and support. But what about those who pray for support and healing and never get it?
I am a lurker here. I’ve been praying from the beginning - but still keep up with you through an RSS Feed. I find Anonymous’ question in your post and the subsequent answer that he’s posted to be interesting. …
There’s really no answer to the questions that Anonymous has that will make him happy - because your answers and mine - come from Faith.
You wrote good.
Anonymous - my friend’s husband died of brain cancer in May. He was 35. He has a seven-year-old son and a wife who loves him very much. He is a Christian, he loved the Lord and prayed and believed that he would be healed.
And yet he died.
He had everything that you are claiming Heather has (which it appears she does, in spades, and I am thankful for that), and it didn’t save him. Still Faith, which the Bible says is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see - faith tells us that my friend’s husband IS saved - and safe in the arms of Jesus, who died so my friend’s husband might have eternal life. Faith is just believing. Faith stepping off a cliff into nothing and trusting that you will be caught. This life isn’t the point. In the end - Heather will die (whether it be sooner or later, of cancer or not). Her sweet girl will die. I will die. You will die. The point is that Heather (and I, for that matter) have the faith that there is something better after the physical death we will experience - that there is Heaven, and in Heaven we are perfect and whole.
You seem to be offended by the belief in God that Heather exhibits - and perhaps I am reading it wrong. But why? I don’t really understand why you feel it necessary to attempt to change someone’s mind. God loves each of us deeply and abundantly. He loves Sally down the street who is alone and he loves Heather who has family who loves her deeply. Just because we are not equal in this world doesn’t mean we are not all loved equally and fully.
I guess perhaps I am confused at your purpose for questioning Heather’s faith.
Anonymous - Like Kim I also ask why you want Heather to question her faith. I agree it is easier to love when you are loved. While it may be more difficult it is not impossible to love when one feels unloved. Perhaps you feel unloved and blame God for that. Is it possible “doctors” are an instrument of God’s love? Emma is no less a miracle because she takes medication - the fact that she is alive and learning and loving is in itself a miracle. Did God fail you or did you fail yourself or perhaps someone you love. I know people who find “their faith & belief” in God when they want something and then when it doesn’t go the way they wanted they lose their faith, are you one of those people or has something happened that has caused you to question your faith. If you are alone and hurting I hope there is someone you can reach out to. Are you angry, hurt and perhaps resentful that others have love, support and hope that you are void of. Reach out and perhaps others will help you! I don’t have the faith that Heather and many of her commenters do - but I do have faith! My doubts are just that, mine - I would never ask Heather or any other Christian or otherwise believer to doubt or justify their faith. I hope you find the answers you want and need and find peace in life. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people, not fair but true! Perhaps if you look inside you will find the answers to your questions. Heather doesn’t have them for you only for herself - her faith is admirable and I for one am lucky that she shares her stories and faith with me. Sometimes one has to make peace with themself before they can find faith in others even in God. My wish is that you find whatever it is you are seeking be it faith in God, love from others and belief in yourself. Perhaps it is in your doubts and questions that you will find a faith and the answers you seek. Maybe God led you to Heather’s blog so you can see what true and real faith is. I wonder if Heather is an instrument of God and perhaps a “tool” that will help you answer your questions! If you came to this blog to find resistance or rejection - I think it is obvious that won’t happen at EspeciallyHeather!
As always, thoughtful and well-worded, Heather. A friend of mine has been fighting cancer for nearly 7 years now. Her time to see Jesus face-to-face is quickly approaching. I think she would share many of your same thoughts and attitudes. Please pray for her little ones, 10 and 6.
Dear Anonymous - I wanted to make a seperate comment about this part of your post.
So he performed his miracle and left her with a lifelong debilitating disorder. Nice.
Emma is not left with a lifelong debilitating disorder. She is a little girl who laughs and giggles when she blows bubbles. She is a little girl who runs to her mommy and daddy when she sees them. She has a Nana who loves to hold her and tell her stories and a grandfather who scoops her up for a squeeze. She is a daughter, sister, granddaughter, cousin and she is a friend. I have met this little girl with the sparkle in her eyes and I have listened as she learned to speak and I know her sense of humor. How sad that you don’t seem to have love or a belief in yourself. Emma gives back love ten fold each day. I feel sorry for you that you seem to think Emma’s life is not worthy and question what exactly the doctors saved. I will tell you what they saved - a little girl who has fought long and hard to dance and once she learned the steps she dances everyday - the dance of life. I hope you can find whatever it is that will let you dance through life! If you wrote those things about Emma to hurt Heather or anyone - you failed - once again Heather did not try and hurt you. Whoever you are - I wish you well on your journey.
To A Good Friend,
Thank You!
Annonymous,
Why do you feel the need to cast doubt upon Heather’s faith?
Heather has a deep abiding relationship with God, the Father. She has an intimate friendship with the Son of God, Jesus. She leans upon and trusts in the leading of God’s Spirit, The Holy Spirit.
Are you asking your questions with the hopes of learning to have faith in God yourself?
Heather,
Our bodies live in an imperfect world. We suffer from all sorts of difficulties. Yet God’s love and mercy is ever present with us. Your relationship with the Lord goes far deeper than I can fathom. He has drawn you and Emma to himself in an amazing way! Not many people have developed that kind of relationship with Him. Your little girl is a sweet blessing to you and all who know her. Children are a gift from Heaven.
When we give gifts at a birthday party, some people feel bad if their gift isn’t ‘as good’ as another gift that may have been given. But the person on the receiving end sees things differently.
Our children can finger paint a picture with all their heart and present it to us. We smile and receive it with gladness and love, then proudly display it on our refridgerators, door, or walls. We’re proud of the gift that was given in love. Even if it isn’t something a person would pay millions for.
A gift is a gift. Special, loved, and adored. No matter what packaging it comes in. God can give a gift wrapped in the comics section of the newspaper or He can give it wrapped in gold paper, it’s what’s on the inside of the packaging that counts.
((((hugs))))))
Here’s a story that might help answer some of those questions, Anonymous. This story was taken out of John Ortberg’s book, “The Life You’ve Always Wanted†(pg. 22-25). Enjoy!
Mabel’s Story
“The state-run convalescent hospital is not a pleasant place. It is large, understaffed, and overfilled with senile and helpless and lonely people who are waiting to die. On the brightest of days it seems dark inside and it smell of sickness and stale urine. I went there once or twice a week for four years, but never wanted to go there, and I always left with a sense of relief. It is not the kind of place one gets used to.
On this particular day I was walking in a hallway that I had not visited before, looking in vain for a few who were alive enough to receive a flower and a few words of encouragement. This hallway seemed to contain some of the worst cases, strapped onto carts or into wheelchairs and looking completely helpless.
As I neared the end of this hallway, I saw an old woman strapped up in a wheelchair. Her face was an absolute horror. The empty stare and white pupils of her eyes told me that she was blind. The large hearing aid over one ear told me that she was almost deaf. One side of her face was being eaten by cancer. There was a discolored and running sore covering part of one cheek, and it had pushed her nose to one side, dropped one eye, and distorted her jaw so that what should have been the corner of her mouth was the bottom of her mouth. As a consequence, she drooled constantly. I was told later that when new nurses arrived, the supervisor would send them to feed this woman, thinking that if they could stand this sight they could stand anything in the building. I also learned later that this woman was eighty-nine years old and that she had been here, bedridden, blind, nearly deaf, and alone, for twenty-five years. This was Mabel.
I don’t know why I spoke to her-she looked less likely to respond than most of the people I saw in that hallway. But I put a flower in her hand and said, ‘Here is a flower for you. Happy Mother’s Day.’ She held the flower up to her face and tried to smell it, and then she spoke. And much to my surprise, her words, although somewhat garbled because of her deformity, were obviously produced by a clear mind. She said, ‘Thank you. It’s lovely. But can I give it to someone else? I can’t see it, you know, I’m blind.’
I said, ‘Of course,’ and I pushed her in her chair back down the hallway to a place where I thought I could find some alert patients. I found one, and I stopped the chair. Mabel held out the flower and said, ‘Here, this is from Jesus.’
That was when it began to dawn on me that his was not an ordinary human being. Later I wheeled her back to her room and learned more about her history. She had grown up on a small farm that she managed with only her mother until her mother died. Then she ran the farm alone until 1950 when her blindness and sickness sent her to the convalescent hospital. For twenty-five years she got weaker and sicker, with constant headaches, backaches, and stomachaches, and then the cancer came too. Her three roommates were all human vegetables who screamed occasionally but never talked. They often soiled their bedclothes, and because the hospital was understaffed, especially on Sundays when I usually visited, the stench was often overpowering.
Mabel and I became friends over the next few weeks, and I went to see her once or twice a week for the next three years. Her first words to me were usually an offer of hard candy from a tissue box near her bed. Some days I would read to her from the Bible, and often when I would pause she would continue reciting the passage from memory, word-for-word. On other days I would take a book of hymns and sing with her, and she would know all the words of the old songs. For Mabel, these were not merely exercises in memory. She would often stop in mid-hymn and make a brief comment about lyrics she considered particularly relevant to her own situation. I never heard her speak of loneliness or pain except in the stress she placed on certain lines in certain hymns.
It was not many weeks before I turned from a sense that I was being helpful to a sense of wonder, and I would go to her with a pen and paper to write down the things she would say …
During one hectic week of final exams I was frustrated because my mind seemed to be pulled in ten directions at once with all of the things that I had to think about. The question occurred to me “What does Mabel have to think about – hour after hour, day after day, week after week, not even able to know if it’s day or night? So I went to her and asked, ‘Mabel, what do you think about when you lay here?’
And she said, ‘I think about my Jesus.’
I sat there, and thought for a moment about the difficulty, for me, of thinking about Jesus for even five minutes, and I asked, ‘What do you think about Jesus?’ She replied slowly and deliberately as I wrote …:
‘I think about how good he’s been to me. He’s been awfully good to me in my life, you know.… I’m one of those kind who’s mostly satisfied. … Lots of folks wouldn’t care much for what I think. Lots of folks would think I’m kind of old-fashioned. But I don’t care. I’d rather have Jesus. He’s all the world to me.’
And then Mabel began to sing an old hymn:
Jesus is all the world to me,
My life, my joy, my all.
He is my strength from day to day,
Without him I would fall.
When I am sad, to him I go,
No other one can cheer me so.
When I am sad He makes me glad.
He’s my friend.
This is not fiction. Incredible as it may seem, a human being really lived like this. I know. I knew her. How could she do it? Seconds ticked and minutes crawled, and so did days and weeks and months and years of pain without human company and without an explanation of why it was all happening – and she lay there and sang hymns. How could she do it?
The answer, I think, is that Mabel had something that you and I don’t have much of. She had power. Lying there in the bed, unable to move, unable to see, unable to hear, unable to talk to anyone, she had incredible power.â€
You and I can have that power – if we will only die to ourselves and allow the Holy Spirit to fill us to over-flowing.
Hello, i am going to comment on what anonymous has said. I am not catholic, i am jewish. That said: I wonder all the time now if there is a GOD and why he allows suffering in this world. I simply do not understand. I lost a parent to cancer and he was a good man cut down in his prime. He was good, why did GOD allow this?? Now, i read Heather’s blog and i see a good person suffering. WHY? She is young, pretty and has a wonderful family. Why does GOD not let her live to see her children grow up?? I read another blog. Her name is Ashley and she is 2 years old. Also suffering every single day. I commented there about why people spend so much time praying for her. I mean for some people its 24/7. I said that there was life to be lived out there and i just didn’t get the continious praying. People started commenting and quite a few said they were praying for me any my mom who has leukemia. Imagine that!!! People i do not know and will never know pray for me. They welcomed me into their prayer family. Now, while i do not pray for little Ashley all the time, i can only say i wish her health and i hope that she will get to grow up. I wish the same for Heather. I do not know her, never will but i do feel love for her. She doesn’t deserve to be sick. Her family needs her. Well, actually nobody deserves to be sick and this is where i get confused. Why does GOD allow this to happen?? I am not sure i will ever understand but i need guidance. Maybe, acceptance. I do not think anonymous was being malicious just stating his/her beliefs. Some of it i understand. Most of it i don’t.
Dear Anonymous…..
I wasn’t going to respond here in the comment section, I actually sent an email to Heather because I wondered if I could be as gracious as the others . You see I have watched people I love die from this disease….my mother, my mother in law, several aunts, and just as recently as Friday of last week….my husband’s aunt died after a long battle of cancer…not only that but several members of my family have heart disease…in fact my sister is scheduled for bypass surgery tomorrow morning….but it was the way Heather signed her post….. By His Grace Alone….
the point is, you have a fairly typical mindset of a non-believer, (actually you remind me of how cold and hard my own heart used to be)…..but understand that when I say non-believer, I am speaking of Jesus Christ..that you are not a believer in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior….He is the One Heather refers to…He is the One and only God….so any other god you refer to is irrevelant to the conversation…and so I don’t know what you are trying to prove with your remarks…. because obviously you do not know about Jesus Christ….so what your remarks are doing is creating an atmosphere of confrontation, while you spew anger and disdain over a beautiful woman ….and upon an innocent child .
I believe that you…. whoever you are…. will soon discover that you too are a precious child of God, just like Emma, just like Heather and you too have a condition, a sickness, a disease that has affected your life but here is the good news for you…..God loves you….the same way He loves all of us….and you too could come to know some of these kind people who are more than capable of giving you love and support …come visit my blog….
…..anonymous…..rest assured God knows who you are, He knows your heart and He hears the prayers being lifted for you now….
Heather, my prayers, love and hugs to you and your family….and as my blog states…..
By His Grace Alone
Donna
Anonymous,
As a long time cancer survivor of ten years and a mom of two nicu babies.
I believe that the doctors who work diligently to help and give those of us our lives back.That power and that knowledge comes straight from God, he guides those who ask for his help.
My oncologist when he gave me three months to live..Asked me as he set his hand on my shoulder *Please pray that I have the knowledge to help and do what I need to get you on the right track to health.* I remember going out and sitting on the curb and praying. And praising God every step of the way as things got better.
I have one last thing to say. IT is this. No matter who has cancer loved not loved. Its not easy. Never is it. Even when you have loved ones around you caring for you. Its a very personal battle. A very tough hard fought one the illness as well as what comes with it. Heather has worked hard to share her personal battle to help others but the gift I recieved from her is her honestly and openess of her faith. That is a gift.
Heather is an incrediably strong woman..That is why Emma has a Mom like her it was predestined by God. He saw the need he fulfilled it and took care of it. Heather and Emma are both worthy of what God has to offer.
I pray you find you way.
here’s a simple answer - michelle, if ashley had been healed with no suffering, with no ill effects on her family, then where would you be? you would certainly not be in our prayer family. you would not be as close to understanding as you have come. where would the rest of us be who face trials without looking at trish and her family and seeing them exhibit God-given strength and perseverance - something we can claim when we are going through trials. and yet, here you are, commenting in such a blessed way to help heather. God’s ways are not always to be understood by us. the Bible says that we will only be able to see things as if through a fog - like looking a mirror in a steamy bathroom. but one day, when He reveals everything to us in Heaven, the fog will clear and we will see things CLEARLY. He promises us this. even tho heather suffers and ashley suffers, God smiles when even one of His children come closer to Him through it, just as he cries with us in our suffering. in the end, He has our best interests at heart. some day we will understand. not now. and because of our faith, we accept that. it isn’t easy, but we accept it. it is the promise of eternal life with Him that helps us accept it. i love you michelle! bless you! jan431 in texas
“Heather is an incrediably strong woman..That is why Emma has a Mom like her it was predestined by God”
Well, these are the kind of comments that bother me. Is it predestined by god for someone to have an abusive parent too? What about that special needs child whose parent is not so loving and caring? Was it god’s will for a child to be raped and abused? Was it god’s will for someone to leave their newborn in the trash to die?
And to the person who said I was trying to sway Heather’s faith. That is not my intention at all. Maybe I just need some answers myself.
Some of you have been quite ugly in your responses to me. That certainly doesn’t make me see your view. It makes me sit back and say, see, it’s that cliquey, obnoxious, self-righteous attitude that irritates and turns away us “non-believers.”
I agree with the other comments above and would just like to invite anonymous to join in and introduce yourself, tell us a little about yourself, and maybe we can pray for you too. This is not a “members only” club, Just a lot of believers in Jesus who gives us grace every day. It sounds like you have a need of prayer for yourself or someone close to you.
Hi Michelle, it is good to see you here too. And Jan up above, you too!!
Love you Heather and have a most wonderful and restful week.
Laurie in Ca.
I don’t believe I have ever met anyone like you, Heather, who so gracefully turns such a distasteful challenge like cancer into an opportunity to bless so many!
I praise God for you.
I would like to humbly suggest that Annonymous has missed the point.
I don’t believe that cancer, death or anything else is God’s plan. It certainly wasn’t in the Beginning. However, as a result of sin entering the world, we have these things. God cannot allow sin to go unpunnished. (Quick note: I am not saying that Heather or her parents [John 9:1-3] did anything heinous and this is her punnishment) BUT! And here is the great part… God promises He will never leave nor forsake us. He is with us in the trials He told us would come. And in those trials, if we love Him, all things will work together for good. We don’t know the outcome, but we know that God will be glorified in Heather’s life, in Emma’s life, in all things… even if the outcome is not what we pray for… the good will be that perhaps at least one person has come into everlasting life because of Heather’s witness.
i started reading heather’s blog months ago - through a friend who has a special needs child. then i was directed to the farley’s….then, ashley….then through a comment on ashley’s blogsite, to ezra. one thing has become apparent to me through all of this. there are so many people who need prayer and support through their struggles. i don’t spend HOURS a day in front of the computer. i work all day away from home, on my feet, and am in and out in the afternoon, then home in the evening. i do, however, think many times a day of all the people i have gotten to “know” through visiting these sites. what draws me to them? the knowledge that God wants us to care for each other and prayer is one way to do that. i don’t do it to answer theological questions, i don’t do it to make myself feel better, i don’t do it because i have nothing else to do. i do it because i believe God calls each of us to BE JESUS to everyone who is in need. there aren’t enough hours in the day to do all that He needs us to do. it is an honor to attempt in a small way to glorify Him and honor Him by doing His work on earth. we are called to care for each anonymous person who comments, no matter what their belief. the primary reason to be on this blog is to care for Heather and encourage her. But God KNOWS there is so much more and it is being done right here on this site and all the others for those who call themselves believers and those who call themselves non-believers. if you follow all the links that appear asking for prayer and continue to be faithful to what He wants of you, you will be VERY busy EVERY day praying, praying, praying. And as you pray, He will know your name, your voice and YOU will begin to KNOW Him in the same way. Promise!!! Oh, there is SO much more!!!! jan431
Jan431 I love you!!! You have said it so elequontly and in a way i never could. I am not sure i understand what it means to be JESUS. Please tell me. Some of the things anonymous says i sort of understand. Mostly, the WHY of it all. Are we being tested in some way? I like the feeling of love…it draws me closer to all of you. Ashley, Heather and the whole praying family. I thank you for understanding and accepting me. I will think about Heather and send good healing thoughts her way. I don’t know what more i can do. I never met Heather but i know her. I never met little Ashley but i know her. And i love them both the same! Hiya Laurie!!!
Anonymous, I am not sure I can make much sense in this comment but I am going to try. I struggle with fear. On a daily basis, I have to talk myself through my fear, ridiculous, logical, whatever you want to call it, I have it. Each day, I pray a prayer to remove satan from my head and allow God to take over. It is a simple prayer. It means a gazillion things to me. I know it is so hard to understand why God “allows” suffering on this earth but I have been doing a lot of reading lately and what I understand to be the Truth is God’s Word. In the Bible, it is pretty explicit in what it says we have done to get ourselves into these situations…Adam and Eve were in a PERFECT world. They had it made but they decided to go against everything God wanted for them by disobeying His one rule, do not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Adam and Eve chose to eat from this tree because satan told them how good it would be. Adam and Eve used their FREE WILL to decide to eat from this tree. This changed everything for us. We now live in a world outside of the garden of eden. Does this mean Heather DESERVES cancer? NOT AT ALL. Not even a little bit. What it does mean is we are living in a world where bad things happen because we are decendants of Adam and Eve. The decisions were made long before we were even thought of by our parents or their parents or their parents. Does God know what is going to happen, you bet your sweet head He does. He also knows He gave us the Free Will to make decisions. This is not a perfect world. We won’t know perfection until we are in Heaven.
Tonight, in our small group, we discussed the difference between faith and fear. Fear is scary. It can debiliate you. (it does me anyway sometimes). Faith is the ability to overcome that fear through Christ. Faith is a choice. Fear comes naturally because we are human. We are flesh. Faith is a gift. We can choose to have this gift or not. Either way, it can change your life.
I don’t believe anyone is trying to be malicious towards you anonymous, we are trying to explain WHY we feel the way we feel. You are a child of God. He created you, He knows every hair on your head. I pray (and will continue to pray) for you find what you are looking for. Know Christ will welcome you with open arms. And I hope all of this makes some semblance of sense ;)
Heather, love you from Tennessee, you are amazing and I am so blessed by your blog!
no eloquence here. i have struggled as well. i was raised in a christian home but didn’t really understand what it meant to have a relationship with Jesus until in my late thirties. to BE Jesus you have to know Him and know His teachings. the entire new testament of the Bible is filled with stories about how we are to act and treat others. when i go to bulgaria and work in the orphanages, i see workers who treat these children, handicapped and not, as in-human rejects of society. Jesus would not treat them this way. He touched lepers and hung out with prostitutes and robbers. (even His disciples were flawed and imperfect-man, that makes me feel a lot better!) He wanted only for their lives to be changed for eternity - on earth and after. when i first went to these orphanages, it was SO hard. these children were not pretty and some were difficult to look at. but to BE Jesus is to KNOW that He saw beauty in these kind. He touched them and loved them and they were worthwhile in His eyes. so being Jesus to the orphans is holding them, touching them and telling them they are beautiful. I have questions, too. i don’t understand the WHY’s of ashley and heather and all the others. but i DO understand what God calls us to do and be. i am NOT good at talking the talk. i am better at working at it and holding, touching and scrubbing and painting and mowing and loving on. i’ve never been comfortable trying to explain my faith - i never felt like i knew all the right answers or knew the “God-talk” that many of my friends have. so, for me, ” being Jesus” is easier for me than “talking Jesus”. does that make sense? gosh, i KNOW there are others who know exactly the words that will help it all make sense to you. but it will take time. it is a process. i am SO glad you are asking questions and wondering. keep you heart soft and your mind open and God will continue the work in you He has begun. It really is exciting!
(Heather - still praying for you. i hope you see the hand of God through all these comments. Michelle began to post on Ashley Adam’s blog and has become a prayer partner and has found her way to your site. God bless you and your family. jan431
We all have to remember that God is God, and He simply does not have to justify what He does or doesn’t do, nor what He allows or doesn’t allow. He created this world as explained in Ephesias 1:3-10: “3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9And he[d] made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. ” In eternity, He will be able to bring all Christians together under Christ, and I will be there. If you want to experience every spiritual blessing in Christ and to be blameless in eternity, then all you must do is admit that you, as a human, are a sinner and that you want Christ to reside within you. This decision does not guarantee you an easy life, but it does guarantee you a peace that you will never find anywhere else. And it guarantees you eternity in heaven, where we are without ailments and complaints. Why do we have to suffer? Because we live on earth. Why do Heather and Emma Grace suffer? Because they live on this earth. But Heather’s assurance is in Christ. I pray that you, Anonymous, will receive some insight here from some comments posted here, but above all, I pray that your heart and mind will be opened to receive Christ as your Savior.
I will keep it short…..
Dear Annonymous,
All I can offer are my prayers. Keep seeking and God will answer. Keep knocking and He will open the door.
Smiles and Hugs
Heather,
You are so wonderful! You are being used by God even if you cannot see it sometimes. I have read your blog for a long time, and I have learned so much from you. I know the Lord brought you across my path, and you have blessed my life so much.
In fact, I believe the Lord used your blog to prepare me for something… I found out today that a new friend of mine from homeschool co-op was just diagnosed with breast cancer and is having a lumpectomy tomorrow morning. Previously, I think I would have not emailed her because I don’t know her well and would have felt like I didn’t know what to say. But when I read the email about it, I thought about many of the things you have taught me… that you are a person with cancer and wish people would not be so weird about it, and many other things… and I emailed her and just said that I am glad she is my new friend and thankful that she welcomed me to co-op, because it is big and I dodn’t know anyone. And then I told her that I read the email and just wanted her to know that I am praying for her, that I will be bringing some meals for her, and that I am available to help however she might need. She emailed me back thanking me and telling me she has felt weird knowing how to bring it up to tell people because she didn’t want to spoil the mood. So I emailed back saying that with me, she doesn’t have to worry about the mood, she can just be herself, because I have my moods, too, and I am her friend no matter what the mood.
I feel like she and I have already become better friends, and my comfort in reaching out to email her is 100% attributable to you, Heather.
My friend’s name is Cathy, and she is having a lumpectomy tomorrow. If you and your readers could pray for her, I know that she would really appreciate it.
Thank you again for just being you. I am praying for you every day, and I really admire you. You are an incredible person with an incredible heart.
Love,
Jen
The problems with e-mails, blog posts and subsequent comments is that often we cannot adequately convey emotions in a simple print.
Anonymous, I’m sorry if anyone has said anything that makes you want to sit back and see “Believers” as anything but passionate. Part of the responses I’ve read want you to understand where they have come from and what they have witnessed. They want you to understand that they have seen the pain and alongside of that they have experienced the goodness of God.
You said: Well, these are the kind of comments that bother me. Is it predestined by god for someone to have an abusive parent too? What about that special needs child whose parent is not so loving and caring? Was it god’s will for a child to be raped and abused? Was it god’s will for someone to leave their newborn in the trash to die?
Was it God’s will??
Understand that when I say “God” I’m talking about Abba God - the God of the Bible - The Creator of the World.
Not Allah. Not Muhammed. Not Buddah. Ra.
Anything other than My God.
Was it God’s will??
No. Absolutely not.
However, He can take what was meant for evil and turn it for good.
The simple fact of the matter is - we live in a world where evil exists. Sickness, depravity, etc. Exist. We can not turn away from it. Whenever I hear of a child that has been abused, my heart breaks. And I think that the Heart of God “Breaks”, too. It is not His will.
Is it God who predestines someone for an abusive parent?? - no. However, God has set up boundaries and He is ever a gentleman and will not forcefully go against someone’s will. The abusive parent has a choice.
I know. I’m a parent.
Why doesn’t He get rid of the Evil??
He did.
At the Cross. The power of evil, the power of death was nailed to a cross and crushed when Jesus rose from the dead.
There is so much more to this than just one comment can hold.
It appears that most of the answers are coming from a Faith in the God of the Bible - so it might be difficult to explain in comments. You said that you might be seeking answers yourself - that, coupled with your other comments, has me wondering if you have more, definite and bigger questions.
I hope this has helped in some small way. Like I said, it’s hard for me to convey to you the depth of Love I have for a Jesus who would save me. It’s hard to answer questions that haven’t been asked yet.
This is one of those hard ones to answer to many. I believe in the permissive God, like you do, Heather. Cancer is bad. Cancer happens to good people and bad people, Christians and non-believers alike.
I believe that people should pray, but I don’t feel that if someone prays enough that they will be “spared” compared to someone who doesn’t pray.
I don’t believe that 50 or 500 people praying will save a life. These types of miracles happen, sure, and why some people are chosen and others are not, we do not know.
What I hang onto is faith. Faith in God, faith in his word, faith in the promise of an afterlife.
Annon —
My child too has autism. He is a miracle of God. He is alive. That is a miracle in itself. Who taught the sperm to find the egg? Who told the cells to join? Who told a woman’s body to keep a child inside her for a certain amount of time? God did. The world would say I should have aborted my son for his inadequecies as a human being but my faith tells me different. He brings me great blessings in all his weird and unusual ways. People who know him, and others like Emma, are better for it. God allows children like this to exist for the simple task of teaching us adults what love really is because we are too blinded by our lack of faith to see what has always since the beginning of time right in front of our eyes.
God bless,
Sallie
Don’t waste your time or engery on this person. Just let God handle it. Don’t even take the time to read the remarks. You and your family are in my prayers.
Anonymous-I won’t say much other than I really think you are seeking answers whether you think so or not. I humbly say I think maybe you are missing a few things displayed in Heather’s blog. I, too, have cancer and even though I believe it is God’s “permissive will” I do not believe He made me sick. Many very good things have come out of this horrible fight against a terrible disease. My family is closer, there are others who have seen my faith, Jesus ridded my spirit of bitterness when I got sick, Jesus showed me the value of life, Jesus showed me how precious my kids and husband are, and that I need to stop taking life for granted. Yes, it hasn’t been pretty and it’s been a struggle, but I thank the Lord every day for this thorn in my side called cancer. Anyone can have a “god”, but the true and living God is Jesus Christ who came to this earth to shed his blood on a cross and paid the price for your sin and mine. I hope, someday, that you can find the answers you are looking for and that you can see the love Jesus has for you, and everybody else on the earth, surrounded by friends, lonely, or not. If you are looking for a spirt of malice, anger or bitterness here, I can guarantee you won’t find it. I do know that most of the people who frequest this blog will be praying for you and most anything, want you to accept Jesus as your Savior so you can have the peace that passes all understanding, too.
Please let’s all remember to respond as “Sister’s and Brother’s in Christ” should… With love… compassion… mercy and grace…
Let’s not allow the enemy to take a wonderful opportunity to share Gods Love with another… seeking the truth.
Anyonymous… I honestly do not think you meant anything harmful to anyone with your responses. Honestly, you ask the unanswered questions by so many throughout the world. These are questions we do not know… and perhaps never will. I sit here tonight and read with a joyful heart in knowing that Christ “suffered”… experienced a short life we will never comprehend… and yet in the absolute end… He rose and lives again for eternity with God “our” Father in Heaven… the One and Only God that loves you and I the same! Continue to… Ask and it shall be given… Seek and you shall find… Knock and the door will be open… All you need is to have the Faith of a mustard seed to open the flood gates of Jesus in your life. Many will perish for the lack of knowledge… His Word is what feeds a mans soul…
Heather… thinking and praying for you always…
Have a beautifully blessed week…
**Lots of Love and Hugs**
Deborah
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/heavenlycreations
Anonymous… This is for you…
**Lots of Hugs**
Deborah
The Heart
“Tomorrow morning,” the surgeon began,
“I’ll open up your heart…”
“You’ll find Jesus there,” the boy interrupted
The surgeon looked up, annoyed “I’ll
cut your heart open,” he continued,
to see how much damage has been done …”
“But when you open up my heart, you’ll
find Jesus in there,” said the boy.
The surgeon looked to the parents, who sat
quietly. “When I see how much damage has been done, I’ll
sew your heart and chest back up, and I’ll plan what to
do next.”
“But you’ll find Jesus in my heart. The
Bible says He lives there. The
hymns all say He lives there. You’ll
find Him in my heart.”
The surgeon had, had enough. “I’ll tell
you what I’ll find in your heart.
I’ll find damaged muscle, low blood
supply, and weakened vessels.
And I’ll find out if I can make you well.”
“You’ll find Jesus there too. He lives there ”
The surgeon left.
The surgeon sat in his office,
recording his notes from the surgery, “…damaged aorta, damaged
pulmonary vein, widespread muscle degeneration.
No hope for transplant, no hope for cure.
Therapy: painkillers and bed rest. Prognosis:, ”
here he paused, “death within one year.”
He stopped the recorder, but there was
more to be said. “Why?” he asked aloud.
“Why did You do this? You’ve put
him here; You’ve put him in this pain; and
You’ve cursed him to an early death. Why?”
The Lord answered and said, “The boy, My
lamb, was not meant for your flock for long, for he is a
part of My flock , and will forever be.
Here, in My flock, he will feel no
pain, and will be comforted as you cannot imagine.
His parents will one day join him here,
and they will know peace, and
My flock will continue to grow.”
The surgeon’s tears were hot, but his
anger was hotter. “You created that
boy, and You created that heart. He’ll
be dead in months. Why?”
The Lord answered, “The boy, My lamb,
shall return to My flock, for He has Done his duty: I did not
put My lamb with your flock to lose him, but to
retrieve another lost lamb.” YOU!
The surgeon wept.. The surgeon sat
beside the boy’s bed; the boy’s
parents sat across from him. The boy awoke
and whispered , “Did you cut open my heart?”
“Yes,” said the surgeon.
“What did you find?” asked the boy.
“I found Jesus there,” said the surgeon
Author Unknown
Dearest Heather…The way I think about the whole thing is that the Lord trusts you so much to lay a burdenl like this on you and He knows that you will handle it.
Never in my life have I even come close to God’s giving me such a responsibily as he has you and how many, many people have you inspired, and encouraged heaven only will tell.
Hey that Roger Bennett had the same courage[given by God of course] as you do little lady!!…I love you …Love Terry
PS..As far as that little gal you have, that’s another thing I believe.
When God was looking down, he knew exactly what mommmy and daddy he was going to bless with that child who needed extra and especial care!!
I have been reading and lsitening to David Ring just lately who has cerebral palsey and something that he said really touched my heart…He says about his Lord…”God never says “Oops!”..Now what wouuld anon think about THAT!!
Oh there I go “foot in the mouth” again Heather..
I meant the burden of cancer…not the dear little girl.!!
She is you TREASURE, not your burden, eh?…Love Terry
Beautifully said Heather. I am sad for Anonymous.
Some time back I quoted a list Elisabeth Elliot compiled in her book A Path Through Suffering about reasons in Scripture given for suffering, and I added a few more I found in a post here.
I hope Anonymous and others will find it helpful.
Heather, I am chiming in late to say that your response to Anonymous was SO POWERFUL. I was incredibly moved by your words. I see the God in you, and it is so inspirational! You are a blessing, you are a blessing, you are a blessing!
Keep brandishing that whip at the “prowling lion” which even comes in the form of an anonymous internet poster. God is in control. And for the Anonymous person, I would ask “what if you’re wrong” with apologies to the songwriter. What if there IS more? What do you have to lose for giving it a try? Nothing, if nothing is what you think is out there, only “eternal sleep”. Give God a try - and you won’t have to ask such questions. And you’ll get much more satisfying answers.
Good & kind answer Heather! I like the ‘perfect’ and ‘permissive’!
I’ve gone through some tough stuff (nothing like what you’re going through), and now years later I always say that I’d never want to go through it again, and neither would I wish it on my worst enemy, but I am thankful for the experience because it brought me closer to Him. D
I am appalled at the ability of some to try to defeat others.
GOD is good.
I do not have any idea how anyone can see a sunrise or witness the birth of a child or so many different things that we see every day and not believe that there is a GOD.
At least if you choose to be a negative influence…try to keep it to yourself and be greatful that there are people out there praying for you. One day you will see the light.
I read somewhere that atheists wouldn’t even exist if they didn’t really believe that there was something there to question or argue.
Heather, there are many people out there that will not understand and your ability to continue to show HIS light through your own life and that of Emma is outstanding.
Keep the faith. He is holding you in the palm of his hand.
CB
Beautifully said, Heather.
I didn’t take the time to read all the posts - but… Annonymous - keep seeking - for the answers to the questions you have - and when you pray - ask God to show you the truth. That’s it - just the truth -
and then search -with your whole heart to find out what it is that so many of us have Hope in - there are many fabulous books about the validity of the Bible - and backing that Jesus is the Son of God. start with The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel - a former unbeliever - he was on a mission to prove his wife’s faith invalid…
Part of believing is trusting in what you can’t see, but when you do believe - you get to see what you believe. When ‘Christians’ make ugly comments - it just proves that we are all human and less than perfect - no Christian I know would ever hurt someone (physically or emotionally) on purpose - but back in the Garden of Edan - sin enterd our world - and we all make choices every day - some good and some bad - but it just proves how broken we are and the very reason we need Jesus. There is no earning our way to God - (The tower of babel was defeated because they didn’t obey God and scatter about the earth - thus the variations in the world’s languages) - you cannot build your own way to God or heaven- it is not a buffet of a little this a little - we cannot DO anything except believe that God has love for us so great that we can’t imagine it (and frankly I don’t want to trust in a God that is my equal - I prefer to have somenone greater than me in control because quite frankly - so far, I can’t seem to ‘get it all right’ - oh I am good at the image thing - keeping up with Jones’ - but I know that I am nothing with out my God)…
This week in our church service we started a series about breaking free - and in breaking free from the chains that hold us down - we have to admit that that we need God - we cannot pull up our bootstraps and make lasting changes to any behavior - oh we change for a while sometimes - but the real changes that bring peace and healing - come from knowing God - how do you know God? You read the Word he created - how does the Word take on meaning? You ask God to show you what He has planned for you? Does God want anyone to suffer? No - Does he hurt when we do? Yes - Why is there suffering here? -pysical, emotional, etc… on and on? Because this world is broken - but He has promised us a perfect life - where all of our bodies are healed - there is no tears or hurting - and we spend forever and eternity in perfect harmony with the One who created us…
I encourage you Annonymous - keep searching - What Heather has here are several fellow believers who have grown to love her thru her authenticity in her walk - not once has she ever claimed to have it all together - she shares her day to day with us and has been an outstanding witness to me personally of how to apply God’s word and Truth to day to day (real life ) living - it’s not makey-upy - just here I am - here is how I got thru today - and look how God loved on me today - It is a choice every day - to live with purpose or not - live with integrity or not - to give our day to God or not - …”but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” - Joshua 24:15 (I still get this wrong and forget to start my day giving myself to God - and those are the days that I can’t ‘do’ anything right - the days my kids get under my skin, the days that I’m grouchy and don’t even know why - but as soon as I recognize it/or God points it out - I take the opportunity to acknowledge in my heart that without Him - I am nothing - it is in our weakness that we make room for Him - He will never shove his way in - you have to want him there… When you admit you do - He’ll make you strong…
God is Good - All the time -
Check out our churche’s website - http://www.crossroadscolorado.com/ we are a missional church seeking those that are lost - and host hundreds of unbelievers every week who are checking out Christianity… none of us is perfect - but churches aren’t for perfect people - Jesus hung out with the sick because the healthy people don’t need anything…
We saw how powerless we were to help ourselves; but that was good, for then we put everything into the hands of God, who alone could save us, for He can even raise the dead. 2Corinthinas 1:9
Last but not least - I got this poem via email today - it very much sums up what it means to be a Christian - it’s not about us at all….
Christians
by Maya Angelou
“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ
that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.”
When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin’”
I’m whispering “I was lost, Now I’m found and forgiven.”
When I say… “I am a Christian” I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength to carry on.
When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.
When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.
When I say… “I am a Christian” I still feel the sting of pain..
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.
When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner Who received God’s good grace, somehow!
Pretty is as Pretty does… but beautiful is just plain beautiful!
Heather - you are just plain beautiful! Hugs to you my friend - AmandaB.
Wow! God definitely works in ways we sometimes can’t even imagine! Whether “anonymous” meant to or not - he/she started an outpouring of love and caring for another person who is a stranger to us! God knows the heart of anonymous, which is something none of us can!
Perhaps, Anonymous, you were sent to Heather’s blog for a reason! I pray that your heart is open and you can truly feel the love of God through the comments sent your way! Even more than that, I hope that you are able to feel the power of God’s love and healing through the prayers being offered on your behalf!
Whatever the reason you found your way here - I, myself, am blessed by the heartfelt caring and compassion you’ve been shown and will continue to lift you before God in prayer!
In His Love and Blessings,
annb
>>>Some of you have been quite ugly in your responses to me. That certainly doesn’t make me see your view. It makes me sit back and say, see, it’s that cliquey, obnoxious, self-righteous attitude that irritates and turns away us “non-believers.â€
To be honest, telling a mother who has brain cancer that maybe she is just chasing castles in the air is quite an ugly comment as well. I don’t say this to point fingers, but rather because Romans 3:23 came to mind as I read that comment. Yes, ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Every last one of us are reflected in this verse, including you, Anonymous. Including me. Thankfully, God’s grace is there for ALL as well. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us more, but there is nothing we can do to make Him love us less. When He loved us on Calvary, He loved us at His very, very best.
And, no one can “make” you see a Christian world view. Likewise, no one can “make” you conclude anything about Christianity at all. We can only share our faith and answer your questions to the best of our ability. The vast majority of responses here did just that. How you accept, reject or process those responses is not something anyone can “make” you do.
I did (and do) sense deep pain in your posts, Anonymous. And Heather responded with grace and maturity to your painful words. I would encourage you to be as bold in your identity (ie. not posting anonymously) as you have been in your words to Heather. You would be able to enter into a personal dialogue with some of the folks here who would likely be happy to try to answer your honest questions in light of scripture. It’s perfectly okay to seek answers to the questions you have about Christianity (How else can one come to Jesus Christ if one does not actively seek Him to know who He is and what He has done?) However, if you’re going to ask deep and difficult questions *here*, please be considerate of the trial Heather is going through right now. If you do not wish (as you say) to try to cause her to doubt her faith but rather only want answers to your own faith issues, then I would encourage you to consider dialoguing privately with one of the folks who have posted a response to you here.
Yes, Heather needs support right now, just like Sally down the street. If you also need encouragement, support, prayer or answers, please be bold enough to ask and to provide a way for others to contact you in private. Give a few folks here a chance to reach out to you too. Be bold and see where it goes.
Blessings,
~Toni~
Anonymous doesn’t need any scriptures quoted at her or fingers pointed or any other condemnation. Love, compassion and prayers are what is needed.
This is such an interesting exchange between the “Christians” and those who do not yet know Christ. Our dear Heather is JUST FINE, as well as she ever needs to be, though we don’t yet know what God is doing about her physical health. She is very well indeed.
On the other hand, how can any of you shake your finger in the face of this oor girl “anonymous”? LOVE her, PRAY for her, ENCOURAGE her.
The thing I find so interesting is that many are willing to condemn the person who may truly be facing a genuine and lasting death. Please put your compassion in the right place!
***I have not had time to read all of this***
If I live my life for Christ, in a way that I believe that he would find pleasing, and die to find out it was all a fable, what have I lost. If I have done good in the name of Christ, even though Christ isn’t, at least I have done good. If I have given up on Christ, not able or willing to live a life in faith, and die to find out it was real and I was wrong, I would be so woefully wrong, so lost for eternity.
I get plenty of joy in living my life for Christ, It is a wonderful and worthy life-style. I believe whole-heartedly in him, and hope and pray that I will be embraced with a “Well done good and faithful servant”. I believe that Heather is well on her way there, and Emma Grace is an incredible gift. If physicians saved her for the few years of joy that she provides, they saved her with God-given intellegence, talent and perseverance, whether they believe it or not. Emma and Heather’s stories have gone out into the world to bring the word of Christ to others, God bless their hearts!