All Clear :)
December 20, 2007
First and foremost, My MRI was all clear ;) Now I can really enjoy the holidays and not stress over my MRI. Thank you Lord!
Next my speech. I showed up at about 5 minutes before the meeting started, because I didnt want to be too early and look nervous ;) There were about 10-15 Board members there, and I was the “opening act”. I explained that I would be reading my speech because my short term memory is below par, add that with my nervous speech twitching, needless to say they understood!
Here is what I said (If you have read “The Cancer” in my sidebar, you will noticed that I took alot off that page):
Before I tell you my Cancer story, let me tell what defines me.
First and Foremost, I am a Christian. I believe that my cancer didn’t take my God by surprise. I have no fewer days left on this earth than I did before cancer entered my life. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that, no matter what happens, this ends well for me.
I am the only child of Greg and Darlene and am the wife and best friend of Mark. We have been married for over 13 years.
I am the mother of 3.
Easton, my 10 year old daughter loves everything Hannah Montana and can dance like there is no tomorrow.
My son, Elijah, is 7. He is my blonde haired, blue eyed wonder boy. My youngest daughter, Emma Grace, is 6.
Emma is my miracle. She spent the first 5 months of her life in ICU on life support. On Oct 5, she received her second chance in the form of a heart transplant. She has Autism and a myriad of other diagnoses, but when we look at her, we see a child who loves life, and lives every moment to the fullest. She has lasted 6 years longer than any doctor ever predicted!
I am the founding member of Mothering Through Cancer, at the Wellness Community, a support group for Moms who are battling cancer while raising young children. This is a good time for me to tell you how wonderful the Wellness Community is. Before I was first diagnosed, I never in a million years thought I would have cancer, much less this young. But I do, and I am only 32. I didn’t know the first thing about chemo, radiation, losing my hair, how to deal with my fluctuating emotions and everything in between. While sitting in the waiting room in my radiation oncologist’s office, I saw a flyer on the wall for Cancer Survivors (because all of us are survivors!). I jotted down the number for the Wellness Community and called as soon as I got home. That was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. In our support groups, we actually have other people that are going through or have gone through chemo, radiation, loss of hair, and surgeries. We actually have people who have experienced the same exact emotions that you face when you get the diagnosis of Cancer.
We are a family, a family of Survivors.
Now on to the Cancer.
In April of 2007, my world changed. Id like to tell you that it changed in a good way, and in some ways it did… I knew something was wrong when I had to hold on to the wall to keep the floor from falling out from underneath me. I had been dizzy for days. I finally called my General Practitioner and scheduled and appointment. She thought that I had an inner infection but wanted to do an MRI to rule out fluid in my inner ear.
After my MRI, I went to my parent’s house when I received the call. I had a mass in my brain. It had all the markings of cancer.
I had cancer. In my brain. Me.
In typical “Heather Formâ€, I wanted it out. I couldn’t stand knowing that it was in my body. If I couldn’t get rid of the cancer, at least I could get rid of the tumor. I scheduled the first of what would become three appointments.
The first was with a local neurosurgeon.
Inoperable, but the tumor looked to be a slow growing tumor, so we could wait and watch.
I was adamant about getting a second opinion, because the first neurosurgeon didn’t really understand the graveness of the situation, in my opinion.
We scheduled my second appointment with a Neurosurgeon at MD Anderson in Orlando.
Inoperable again, slow growing again, wait and watch again.
My world fell out from underneath me.
I should stop here and tell you that I am an avid writer and have a blog. For those of you who are un-familiar with the term “Blogâ€, it is no different than journaling, only you have an audience. In my case, unbeknownst to me at the time, I had an audience of thousands.
Within a week an online fundraiser was being held for me by people I had never met from all over the world. Their sole purpose was to raise enough money for me and Mark to go to Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN. This fundraiser raised over $17,000 in just 3 days. I was humbled and shocked. Mark and I bought our plane tickets and packed our suitcases. It was a long shot, and they probably wouldn’t have any other answer than the one that had been given to me twice before, but I had to go. I had to hear that it was Inoperable from the #1 Neurosurgery Hospital for me to believe it. It was my last chance, and I was taking it.
So Mark and I loaded our kids up and took them to my parents. We boarded a plane, flew to Rochester and hoped for the best.
We settled into a hotel, kissed each other goodnight and prayed harder than we had ever prayed before. The next morning was my big appointment, and I had pages of questions that I needed to ask.
Operable. Not only operable, but “RIGHT NOW IT HAS TO COME OUT†operable.
The neurosurgeon wanted to know if I was free the following day. Mark and I looked at each other, in disbelief. When we left his office, I called my parents first. I wanted them there, because if someone was going to be cutting my head open and touching my brain, I needed my mommy and daddy. Mark called his mom and she generously offered to come to our home and watch the two oldest. Mom and Dad would be brining our youngest daughter, Emma Grace, with them. We picked a date for the following week, and called to schedule my craniotomy.
Fast forward to May 3, 2007, the day of my surgery. I can’t begin to put into words the feeling of knowing that it just might be your last day. It might be the last meal you eat. It might be the last time you see your husband. It might be the last time you hug your parents. Put on top of that the fact that my two oldest kids were away from me… I just can’t put into words. I wasn’t afraid of dying, I was sad that my possible death would effect my entire family.
Long and short, it went better than they expected. They expected me to have semi paralysis (on my right side) and possibly lose my speech permanently. I woke up and lifted my right arm. “Good†I thought. I tried to speak. Nothing. It took me 4 months to get my speech back and still to this day it isn’t what it once was.
But I was alive, and that in itself was a great thing.
They removed the entire tumor, which was the size of the head of a 9 iron. The pathology came back an Anaplastic Astrocytoma (Anaplastic means Grade III). Grade IV is the worst. Remember what the first two Neurosurgeons said about it being slow growing? They were dead wrong. I would have been dead in 2 years had I not gotten a 3rd and final opinion. I started radiation and chemo simultaneously. I lost my hair and my appetite. But I was alive.
Fast forward to today.
What have I learned?
It isn’t about the cancer, it isn’t about what it has the ability to do to my body, it isn’t about the treatments or the part of me it has taken away… its about the journey. Its about rediscovering the parts of myself that I never ever knew or dreamed existed, and giving them room to grow and room to take flight. It’s about seeing life through cancers eyes and being better because of it, being more whole and more alive despite it.
It’s about living.
Sure there are going to be days that I feel like a Mac truck just bulldozed over me. There are going to be days when I look in the mirror and think “Who is that person, and what did she do with my hair?†But there are days that I am fully alive and energized too, its part of the journey. It is part of life. But it’s not the only part.
It’s not the defining part
I am still a mother.
I am still a wife.
I am still a daughter.
I am still the same Heather that I was before I found out that I had cancer, just a lot more mature and a heck of a lot less naive. I still have the same heart, the same dreams and the same desires. I am still me, and cancer can’t take that away.
They were all very impressed with my speech, and my ability to tell my story. They asked many questions about how the wellness community has helped me, and what they could do to bring young people like myself in (because cancer is no longer a “old persons” disease). We discussed the benefits of support groups and the things that were holding them back. All in all it went way way better than I had hoped or expected!
Today was suppose to be Emma’s clinic visit, but it was canceled. It is being rescheduled for January 17th, so keep that in your prayers. She is doing wonderful, and luckily the antibiotics have kicked out what ever she had.
I am off to pack for our trip to Virginia, but wanted to thank you oh so much for your prayers and support. I have received many many Christmas cards for my cyber-family and it really warms our heart to know that my story, our story has touched you so deeply. So thank you
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Comments
Note From Heather: All comments are welcome, but I reserve the right to delete at any time. All comments are solely the opinions of the individuals submitting them and the publication of them on this blog does not imply my endorsement or agreement. By posting your comments to the blog you are granting me the right to use them. Your submission of a comment constitutes your acceptance of this comment policy.
In other words: Play Nice
92 Responses to “All Clear :)”
I would love to hear from you!
great job Heather! you are a true inspiration, God has great plans for you, the newest is cyber world touching so many with your story. have a good safe trip and Merry Christmas from Kentucky.
Clear MRI….not much better gift to have in this year’s stocking!! FANTASTIC news!! God is so good. Your story was great and I am sure you made a difference to those listening (and us reading). Wishing you a safe journey to Virginia and a wonderful Christmas.
:mrgreen: Good for you Heather! God bless you and your whole family this Christmas season!
Oh I’m so glad you put this speech down on the blog.
Praying for you-
Annette
Wow, Heather, I am praising God for you. What a testimony you have been to so many. A clear MRI - great news! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas w/your family!
Heather,
How wonderful!!!! Thank you for sharing! I hope you and your family have a truly wonderful Christmas!
Many Blessings,
Paula
That is great news and wonderful answers to all of our prayers! Have a wonderful Christmas!
~Gina
Dear Heather,
Oh, that’s just the best news and exactly what I was praying for you (: Now you can really enjoy Christmas without worrying. I hope you all have a safe trip to VA and the best most relaxing Christmas ever. You’ve certainly earned it (: I’ll be keeping Emma in my prayers too, she is SO cute! I have an Emma myself (: Best wishes to you!
Molly (:
Yay! The speech was great. I hope you and your family enjoy your trip to Virginia and make memories that you will cherish always. Merry CHristmas!
What a wonderful Christmas present, to get a clear MRI.
Many more blessings on top of the blessings you already have…
Merry Christmas. xoxo
praise God!!! Truly, praise God…
Heather,
I’ve been following your blog since October but haven’t taken the time to leave a comment. I am so glad your MRI came back normal. I hope you enjoy Christmas in Virginia (that’s where we live too!). May God continue to be glorified through your life’s story.
Blessings
Praising God for your clear MRI! Praying your story touched the board members as much as it touches all of us. Have a blessed Christmas with your family!
Heather, what wonderful, fantastic news about your scan!!! PTL!! I was praying for you during the time of your speech and I’m so glad it went well for you. I know your story had an impact on your listeners. Thanks for posting the speech so we could read it. Also, glad to hear that Emma Grace is feeling better. Now, you can go off to VA and enjoy every second!! Will be praying for safe traveling mercies for you and yours!
I am excited for your good news. Thanks for sharing your speech on your blog. We will be praying for a safe trip and a memorable family time.
Heather~
I loved your speach, I am in tears right now. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!! I am so glad you got good news and I hope you all have a wonderful and Merry Christmas.
LA from Mississippi
I have read your story form the beginning of the knowledge of your cancer but that speech had me in bits. Thank you for posting it on your blog :) Have a
lovely Christmas :)
Beautiful.
God is good in all things, cancer and noncancerous! Beautiful telling from a beautiful person.
Merry Christmas, Heather and have a wonderful time in Virginia!
I had never heard the whole story from the beginning. Thank you for posting your speech so that I could understand the whole pictures. SO glad you were blessed with a clear MRI.
Have a wonderful Christmas with your family!
Laura
Thank you Lord! And bless you Heather.
Wonderful news…beautiful speech!!!! Have a wonderful blessed Christmas, Heather!
Michele in Ohio
You brought tears to my eyes. I am just elated that your MRI came back clear! God is so good!
Thanks so much Heather …from those of us who don’t let cancer define who we are!!
I am so thankful your MRI clear. God is so good!! Have a wonderful trip…Merry Christmas!!!
First, WOOHOO for a clear MRI! So happy to hear that the results were so wonderful and that you can leave your worries behind for the holiday!
They were impressed with your speech???? Of course they were!!!! I was impressed with it and I have been following your journey since Emma. :razz:
Have a great vacation and holiday!
“Isn’t She Lovely”
Isn’t she lovely
Isn’t she wonderful
Isn’t she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we’d be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn’t she lovely made from love
Isn’t she pretty
Truly the angel’s best
Boy, I’m so happy
We have been heaven blessed
I can’t believe what God has done
Through us he’s given life to one
But isn’t she lovely made from love
Isn’t she lovely
Life and love are the same
Life is Heather
The meaning of her name
Darlene, it could have not been done
Without you who conceived the one
That’s so very lovely made from love
I Love You Bo!
Dad
God is soooo good.
You are amazing.
Your Clustr Map has to be the coolest thing since sliced bread! :)
I LOVE the speech. I have not posted a comment for a while…but I think of you and your family often. I pray that you have an amazing Christmas and know that so many are inspired by your story and that you are such a blessing to so many. Sunshine
what a wonderful speech! You must be so relieved that is over though, huh?
And I am so glad that you were able to get those results back right before the holidays.
Thinking of you,
Karla
Such wonderful news for you and yours! I am a relatively new reader. You have such an uplifting blog!
Merry Christmas!
Kay
I wish I could have heard you speak it… but even so, your speech was powerful. Wonderful news too!!! Wishing you and your precious family the most blessed Christmas ever!
A clear MRI - wonderful news, Heather. I’m sure you’re story went over very well - it’s truly an inspirational story and you are so open and honest about what you’ve been through, physically and emotionally.
Merry Christmas to you and your sweet family.
Yay! Wonderful news and many congratulations on your clear MRI! What a terrific early Christmas present.
And I love your speech. You are such an inspiration. God bless.
Thank God for the good report, Heather! You are totally awesome with that speech. Have a wonderful time with your family and a Merry Christmas again. :o)http://www.especiallyheather.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif
:grin:
Guess I transferred the little smiley wrong!
The Lord put the perfect words in your mouth. What a true blessing “knowing” you has been in my life. Merry Christmas to you and your adorable family, Heather!
Praise the Lord, Heather!! :grin:
I have commented here before, but today I wanted to tell you a little something. Your speach made me think. :!:
I discovered your blog right around the time you discovered you had cancer and have been a faithful reader ever since. I pray for you, and for your family.
Well, last month I was having a lot of dizziness so I went to my chiropractor thinking it was just my neck “out”. He was concerned and sent me immediately to get a series of MRI’s and MRA’s done. I had a few days of tests and some scary times while waiting to hear. The terms they used frightened me a lot. “accoustic neuroma”, “possible tumor”… I was scared! And many, many, many (countless!) times in those few days I thought about how you’ve handled these past few months. How God has held your hand through it all and how you are touching so many people with your testimony. God used you to calm my fears! The good news is that my tests all came back clear and in my case it WAS fluid in the eardrum and also my back and neck needed adjusting. And so my days continue on in “normal” fashion. Yet I know the words you speak are true. My days have already been numbered by my Creator. And I’m okay with that.
God bless you and Merry Christmas!!
~Leah in Alaska
Wow. I knew all this, but to see it summed up so succinctly… Heather, you are a walking miracle. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Merry Christmas Heather and family. I am blessed by “knowing” your story.
i am so truly happy for this blessing for you Heather. MERRY MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!
caringbridge.org/visit/marianne
Thank YOU, Heather. Again, I cannot tell you how much you and your family have inspired me. After a long hiatus from church, I am going to go back. It’s a long story but I truly believe that God has used you yet again. I could just hug you. Much love and have a VERY Merry Christmas. Blessings to you and yours.
Perfect MRI, perfect speech, perfect season to rejoice in perfection. May your Christmas be the most perfect one ever, and I know it will be. Your dads comment is too precious for words. We should all be blessed with dads like him!! Praying for Emma to be fine throughout the holidays and continue to flourish as she does. You have been such a blessing to so many, and just think, you have just begun. God has such big plans with your precious life. HUGS and Blessings to you.
Laurie in Ca.
Beautiful!
Heather,
Thank you for sharing this and for being such an inspiration to those of us who are survivors. So many things you shared, I could identify with.
Thank you for sharing from the heart, for being real and for exalting our Lord.
Indeed He was not surprised and like you, He brought me through it all and Hill Country Thoughts - Coffeecup Ministry was birthed from that!
Merry Christmas and blessings, from the Hill Country of Georgia!
Writing for the King,
Paul
Praise God. Merry Christmas!
Beautiful.
God is good!
Have a wonderful holiday. xoxo
Hi Heather,
I am reading in California, and I have been following your blog since this summer. I feel like I know you! My friend Cindy posted it on her blog (Logan’s race )as one of her favorites. Her sweet 6 year old daughter passed away of Aplastic Anemia in March. I have been encouraged by your faith and I always hoped I would respond the same way as you and Cindy in a trial. Two days ago, my 37 year husband found out he has cancer, so now I will be walking this road too. Thank-you for your example. It means a lot to me even though we have never met. I know God is faithful to you and He will be to me also. Praying for you,
Lauren
I’m so happy that the MRI was clean. That’s great news.
And thank you for sharing your story with us. Your story of faith is so beautiful, and you told it wonderfully.
Oh Heather,
I wish more then ever I could of been there to hear that speech! :razz:
I would of given you a standing ovation.
“its about the journey…”
Yes, that sums it all up so well. If only others could understand the way you do.
So blessed the Lord allowed me to find your site. My life has been so enriched, I’m so grateful, and MERRY CHRISTmas!
Blessings…
Merry Christmas, Heather and family, We love you dearly…
You are amazing! Merry Christmas! :grin:
Heather,
What great news! And, what a wonderful speech!! I wish I could have heard it in person. You are an amazing woman. God has big plans for you, Heather. Thank you for sharing your “journey” with us. We are ALL better for knowing you.
Merry Christmas.
I’ve checked in on you from time to time through MamaLee’s blog, and I am so glad to hear that your MRI was clear! What an awesome Christmas gift!
Your speech was amazing. You are an inspiration and a humbling example of grace and faith under pressure.
Hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas!!
wonderful news about the MRI.
We all feel like we know you - and share the joy of good tidings…
a clear MRI, an incredible speech, - what blessings!!!!
Merry Christmas!
Love,
Liza
I just wanted to stop by and check in on you (great speech!), and to wish you a very joy-filled and merry Christmas. I know this Christmas will be very, very special to you and your family.
Hugs and blessings,
Kerimae
OH, Praise Jesus! I LOVE how Jesus looks on you Sister…beautiful, indeed!
May the LIGHT of Christ fill your home with joy and many years of re-telling the story of what God did!
Praising Him with the dancing kind of joy!
Holly
Merry Christmas Heather and family!
I’ve already left a comment, but I found something that was sent to me when my son was beginning his brain tumor journey.
I don’t know if you’ve seen this already, but I thought you would enjoy it.
Sounds like you could of wrote this yourself!
Blessings!
We need to give “The big ‘C’” new meaning.
“The Big ‘C’”
by Kathy Cawthon, Survivor
“The big ‘C’” I heard someone call it.
Another just whispered the word.
That we don’t even dare to say “cancer” out loud
Gives it power it doesn’t deserve.
So I’m giving that letter new meaning
And refusing to give in to fear.
I’m reclaiming the power for you and for me
By saying these words loud and clear:
Let the “c” be for “cure” and “compassion.”
Let it stand for the “candles” we light.
And a “chorus” of voices shouting “You ‘can’!”
To all who will take up this fight.
Let the “c” be for “cash contribution.”
“Credit” or “check” will work, too!
Let it stand for “commitment” and “check- ups”
and “cheer”
And the “children” “counting” on you.
Let it mean that we know our “Creator”
Is beside us each step of the way,
And remind us to “call” on His strength and His love
And to “celebrate” every new day.
To everyone facing this “challenge,”
I say it’s a fight we will win.
Tell all who will listen that, starting today,
The “c” is for “COURAGE,” my friend
Beautiful speech… even more beautiful life.
Merry Christmas, Heather & Family.
Gods continued blessing this Christmas Day, as we celebrate HIS birth, and during the entire year of 2008!! You are a blessing in using your strong voice and platform.
Susan
I already knew your story, but I’m still amazed when I hear it all again. It’s just amazing and awesome to see God’s Hand working in your life. I’m so glad things are working well for you and your family. Hope 2008 is an easier year for you all.
Merry Christmas dear Heather.
I hope you have a very nice vacation in Virginia.
You are such a blessing and an encouragement to us!!
God bless you…Love Terry
Thank you for sharing your amazing speech with us. Such an inspiration! Blessings to you and your family.
Oh Sweet Heather!
You allowed the Holy Spirit to flow right through you, what a great conduit you are! Well Done!
Your Lord is so pleased!
Praising God for your results!
Because of Jesus, Bobbie
You are a true inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story every step of the way. Your speech was so great to read. You ouch so many lives with your words. You and your family continue to be in my prayers.
I wish I could have been there to hear you give your speech! Thanks for sharing it with us. It was just beautifully expressed. (and that’s such good news about your MRI!)
Merry Christmas, Heather!
Merry Christmas Heather. I will be continuing to pray for you and your sweet family. We almost lost one of our daughters during her first year of life. She is now 12, doing very well, and I thank God for each day we have with her.
Blessings,
Lysa TerKeurst
:grin: Serious happy dance from Montana
G-d is great!
gp in montana
Your speeuch was absolutely beautiful. I know you spoke directly into people’s souls, just as you do ours through this blog. God bless!
A clean MRI is definitely reason for rejoicing!
What a great way to start this new year.
Continued Prayer…
Conni from Miami
Merry Christmas Heather!!!
It’s been so long since we’ve chatted… so I thought I’d stop by to see how you are doing and wish you a Merry Christmas.
And I’m so happy I did… what amazing news!!!
Praise God!
I just found your blog Heather. Congratulations on your MRI!! All clear - how wonderful.
I’ll add you to my prayer list and keep checking on you.
Peggy
Wonderful speech Heather. It brought tears to my eyes!
Kris: I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!
Laura: God Bless you and have a safe and happy New Year, you’re off to a great start.
You are beautiful!
To God alone be the glory
I have been thinking about these words that you posted, “I have no fewer days left on this earth than I did before cancer entered my life. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that, no matter what happens, this ends well for me.” all weekend! They are just so true and so comforting. Thanks for writing them.
Heather, you are an amazing woman. I get strength just be hearing your testimony. I pray that you have abundantly more than you ever dreamed and that God continue to make Himself so evident in your life. You are an inpiration to so many. I pray for Emma Grace to be well and full of joy and peace. Have a wonderful week, girl! You deserve it!
Amy Grant Bayliss
You are truly a strong, remarkable woman. I am in awe of your strength and courage. God Bless you and your family.
Heather, first I want to tell you I haven’t been keeping up on what is going on as we have been gone and computer use is hit and miss, but reading this was great. I have been thinking about you for the past couple of weeks and praying that everything was going well. God is so good and the clear MRI was a wonderful gift for this time of the year. Have a good New Years and praying that things continue to go well for you and Emma Grace.
Hugs & prayers,
Norma
Hi Heather,
I have been following two cancer blogs and both have had the faith to trust God through the “journey”. I keep praying for both of you daily,
blessings,
You are one amazing woman! Facing this cancer and beating it down! I added your button to my blog. I pray for all the best!
A Beautiful Life.
I remember a sentence that you wrote and I read somewhere back in your archives. I think of it daily.
“Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.”
Thank you!
Hi heather! This is the first time coming across your blog. You are truly an amazing woman and an inspiration. The Lord is SO good and it’s so obvious just by reading this one post. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I will be praying for you, Heather!
Kelly
You’re truly blessed to have gone through this and come out with the wisdom and support you have. I found your site a few months back via Inprogress, Tam. Is it okay if I add you to my blog roll?
Praise God Heather!! =) :grin:
What a wonderful testimony of God’s faithfulness and of your desire to serve Him continually in all you do.
Happy New Year!
:mrgreen: From Spain,i`m not a chatolic practiser but i think is not necesary for send all my good wishes for your recovery.
Merry Christmas for you and your family and happy ney year.Feliz Navidad y feliz año nuevo.
OMGOSH LOOK AT YOU I do stop by but I dnt’ as often as I should I am so proud of you as I am sure you are of yourself. Heather look how God has used you in this life. Well God bless you and Keep ALL of you safe and well.
Just me
What a wonderful speech; praise God! I haven’t visited your blog in a bit, but I’m glad I did today; God speaks through you so eloquently. And I can relate a little bit too: I’m about the same age as you (31), and April of 2007 was an infamous month for me, too, also involving MRIs and an unwelcome diagnosis (though in my case, multiple sclerosis; your story puts my own in perspective!). So though the battles we face are very different, I can relate a tiny bit. Congrats on the clear MRI!! A wonderful Christmas gift indeed.