Pull up a chair…
February 26, 2008
I have to address this. This is my blog. My only request, which is now become a rule, is to be respectful of me, my family and other commenter’s. I have had to delete a comment which really grieved my heart, and I really don’t want to receive another comment like that one. If I have to, I will turn on comment moderation, but I really really really don’t want to do that. It takes time and energy away from me when I have to sit here and read attack after attack on people, especially my family. I will not, WILL NOT tolerate any negative comments on my blog about my family.
When my dad said “I kinda think that God is smiling about now saying “That’s My Girl!”, it was the 2nd comment. It was written long before many of the others were written. He said that with pride in his heart. Pride that I am handling this with as much grace and dignity that I can muster. For anyone to turn that around and say “I thought most of the responses were rude and the one from someone saying God was looking down saying “that’s my girl” made me a little nauseated.”
That someone was my father. That someone means the world to me.
Its not the first comment that I have received about me or my family, but I guarantee you that it will be the last.
I cant control what people think, but I can control what they write on a site that I pay for.
I don’t mind if you question my faith… I whole heartily welcome those questions. But if you don’t have anything constructive or kind to say about me or my family, please refrain from saying anything at all.
Please don’t make me put comments on moderation. Please.
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Comments
Note From Heather: All comments are welcome, but I reserve the right to delete at any time. All comments are solely the opinions of the individuals submitting them and the publication of them on this blog does not imply my endorsement or agreement. By posting your comments to the blog you are granting me the right to use them. Your submission of a comment constitutes your acceptance of this comment policy.
In other words: Play Nice
61 Responses to “Pull up a chair…”
I would love to hear from you!
I don’t understand why people read blogs, especially a blog like this that is about sharing God’s love and faithfulness, just in order to critique them. Good for you for letting your standards be known. I hope you don’t have to turn on comment moderation, for your sake.
Good For you Heather..Your an amazing woman. Your faith shines with your words on this blog. Thank you for being the wonderful person you are…thank you for standing up for yourself and your family. God Bless you all!
Good for you for standing up for yourself. I cannot believe the insensitivity of some people. ((hugs)) Bless you for even having to write this.
(and I for one uttered an Amen when I read your dad’s comment. Bless him too!)
Good for you! This is your blog, don’t let anybody make you feel bad. You are an inspiration to so many people, and I do think God would be proud of the way you are handling this… and I’m not your dad… I’ve never even met you!
You go, girl!
how interesting, Heather… When I read that same comment from your dad, I felt so warmed - I thought it was such a sweet, precious comment from a loving father to his courageous daughter.
It just goes to show that there are always those who chose to see the cup as half-full and find something to stir up…
You are a hero of mine.
Seriously.
Hugs and blessings,
Karla
something must be in the air.. hurtful words were also left at Ashley’s Journal. i am not a commenter preferring to just stop by once a day to see how you are…and i always leave challenged on how to be a better person, wife, friend. we do not share the same religion but we do share in the belief of God, and i stand in agreement with your dad - He is smiling on you and He recognizes how you’ve touched others. you inspire me, and your strength confirms to me that God is present. thinking of you often, take care, linda.
I am so sorry about the hurtful remarks. I was thinking the same thing as Linda above–because I just came from Ashley’s Journal.
I have so much admiration for people who have the courage and also take the great risks to put so much of themselves and their struggles out there on the public internet. It seems to say that God is alive and well, even on this most diverse and sometimes threatening public network. I pray that He will protect everyone who shares.
You are always an inspiration to me and you are in our prayers daily.
Kay
We are in a battle of good and evil. When someone tries to show God’s love, evil gets angry and strikes back. You’re touching hearts,even the angry ones.I feel sorry for those who hurt so much they have to hurt others. You do what you need to to protect yourself and your family.
PS. My mom is having a mastectomy today. She’s had one 25 years ago, then 15 years ago had cervical cancer. Now, she is facing her second breast cancer and third cancer strike. Please pray for her today.
It’s astounding and appalling to me that anyone would come onto someone’s blog who has a serious illness or trial and say hurtful things. That’s like kicking someone when they’re down. I applaud your protecting of your family in this way, but I wish people would show a little class and compassion and not make such measures necessary. Thankfully it seems most of those kinds of comments are few and the majority are supportive.
You have said so much lately, that I find myself commenting more than ever. My heart breaks for you, even though I know you don’t want it to (I’ve been reading long enough to know that). Today’s post, this post, has me in tears. You have gone through SO much in life & you are so strong. You don’t need the poo that people sling, and I wouldn’t blame you if it came down to it, to start moderating posts. But I also think that is one less thing you need, one less thing you have to mess with. When we are at our strongest, is when the devil tries to take us down!
I come back to your blog because
a) I aspire to have the strength, the faith & the dignity that you do, or even just a fraction of those qualities that you have
&
b) cancer awareness is near & dear to me. My Grandma passed in ‘95 of breast cancer. Being the selfish human I am, I want her back. So, in essence, I really LOVE success stories, and you dear, sweet Heather are shaping up to be one of those. In more ways than one.
These are the top 2 of MANY reasons I come back!
Like I’ve said before, God bless you Heather. You are an inspiration!!
Oh & I forgot to mention, I really love the family bonds that are so expressive in this blog, both with your posts & with the comments from your loved ones!
Oh Heather, I’m so sorry to hear about those comments you’ve been getting. I will never understand that from folks. I hope this blog can continue to be a safe place for you to process your experiences, your feelings, your faith. And for you to challenge ours.
Thanks for being so open with yourself about all you’ve gone/are going/will continue to go through. You are an amazing testament to me.
I only recently have discovered your blog, and have been so encouraged and inspired by your words. I know you don’t want to be put on a pedestal, so I don’t want you to think that I have put you way up high, but you are a remarkable example of grace and strength that can only come from our most loving heavenly Father. To God be the glory. May He continue to bless you and your dear family.
The power and sweetness of the “delete” button lives on. Enjoy it. We all deserve to keep hate and ignorance at bay- nothing wrong with that. In fact it’s what keeps us a little more sane and a little less tired.
“pull up a chair” is the perfect WELCOME and perhaps a good motto for your blog. Have a loverly day Heather.
How sad that people feel it necessary to leave hateful comments. Once again, you’ve shown tremendous grace in handling it. Thank you for sharing your story and your faith with everyone.
Hugs,
Amanda
I have to agree with Anna…why bother to read blogs about things you disagree with? Because you’re passive aggressive and have no other way to deal with your problems than to lash out at those who come here for what is written?
I read your dad’s post, Heather, and it brought tears to my eyes…because I would LOVE for my dad to say that to me…and my DAD in heaven, He IS saying that about me; He knows my earthly dad isn’t doing the job, but I know that He will tell me how proud He is of me.
Heather…we talked about you at bible study today…we are doing Priscilla Shirer’s “He Speaks To Me” and there was a part in it that reminded me of your post about the anonymous comment. That commenter questioned so many things about God…and here was Priscilla’s quote. “No matter what you think you need from God, He knows what is best for you. He controls how He meets and what He chooses to reveal about Himself.
“You man feel you need His healing touch, while He may decide to reveal His peace in the midst of your ailing body….”
When I read that, my thoughts were immediately to you and your anonymous commenter. He/she questioned your belief in God, in why God would put you through this. But you already knew…you KNEW that God chose this way for you in order to reveal His PEACE. He says His ways are not our ways…and this truly shows it.
Continue to be who you are, and write what you write..and use the delete button when necessary.
I’ve been thinking about you since I read those comments last night. My husband and I talked about it for a long time. We have a lot of friends who are atheists (his brother is too) and I have no issues with them. I’m glad we live in a country where people are free to worship - or not - as they choose.
But it really takes a special kind of, um, person to post those types of comments on a blog like this, where you’ve done nothing but lift up others, ask for prayers for fellow cancer patients and bring joy into all of our lives. When it comes right down to it, it’s not about faith vs. atheism, it’s about common decency toward your fellow humans.
FWIW, I moderate my blog. Sigh. :neutral:
Very well said Heather! I am proud of you. Another precious family just got some very ugly things said and they turned moderation on. I pray these people find Jesus and can see His Light shining. You are an amazing lady. The post before this one was incredible. I am going to read that book.
Praying!
Shari
Heather,
I’m sorry this happened to you. And I’m continuously amazed at your perseverence, strength, thoughtfulness, and grace. You may be the only Bible that someone may read. Hang in there and keep smiling. . .
P.S. I don’t know how to write to you personally but I just finished reading the book, “The Shack”. Oh My GOODNESS! It is a book that you need to read! The main character experiences “The Great Sadness” and meets God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit on a journey of intimacy, forgiveness, and grace. I’ll stop there because I don’t want to give the story away! Here’s a link if you want to know more.
http://www.theshackbook.com/
Hugs from someone who is still thinking of you and praying for you in Tennessee.
Good for you, Heather. I wouldn’t tolerate it either…not for a single moment. I just don’t understand mean people at all.
I am really not sure what was said and honestly if it was something that set you off like this; it really was not worth reading. You all (your parents included) have dealt with so much and what keep you all going is your faith. Your parents, Mark and you have always amazed me; I have always thought and still do If I could only be as strong as you and know that God has total control has ALWAYS amazed me how different my life would be. You all are such wonderful people. And it is not a front it is truly how you all are. Please don’t let this one person stop you from blogging because you are so wonderful with words and you are an inspiration.
I read this today and thought of you.
If you are not a regular visitor of her blog totally reccomend it.You two are my blog visits of the day.
http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/
Heather,
Like many of the rest of your readers I have been thinking a lot about you and the recent “debate” on your blog. You have been a lesson for me in dignity and grace during times of trial and I find myself in the midst of times that really require that dignity, grace and faith. I’m sorry that people have attacked you for those very things. I’m sorry they’ve hurt you. It really is appalling (and shows an utter lack of class) to show up here and denegrate you, your family and the very thing that is getting you through one of the hardest times that most of us can imagine. Even if others think our faith is hokey, or silly, why in the world do they feel the need to attack? That’s cruelty, pure and simple.
And contrary to a previous commenter’s ideas, I come from a family of scientists (doctors included) who ALL have faith in our God and our savior. Being and thinker and being a believer are not opposites.
I hope, though, that you are able to see the light that you continue to shine in all of our lives.
Heather,
I thought your father’s comment was so incredibly kind and supportive. I have no idea what that commenter could have possibly meant. I’m so sorry that your feelings got hurt. I just don’t understand how people can be so insensitive. I truly hope you’ll be able to hear the rest of us over the very few who are unkind. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your lovely family.
spoken well and graciously, as always!
BTW: our friend Minerva is feeling better, and has a new post.
http://womanlyparts.blogspot.com
Hugs and prayers.
Keep holding on.
I’m a lurker who prays for you, Heather. Today I wanted you to know your blog is such a huge blessing, and God is using you in a mighty way.
Psalm 106:1,2 (NLT) “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! His faithful love endures foreer. Who can list the glorious miracles of the Lord? Who can ever praise Him half enough?”
God’s grace on you and your family.
I’m so sorry that someone was being extremely mean to you Heather.
But always remember that for the one person who isn’t nice, there are hundreds of us, thousands even, that come here to be inspired.
Awww Heather, I’m so sorry. I just came from Ashley’s page and Trish has had to close her comments, because of rude comments about her family. My first thought when I read your post was, “Man, the devil is trying to discourage these folks I love, and that makes me mad.” Our family is praying for you. We love you all so! And your Dear Daddy SHOULD be proud of you, Girl. He’s quite right. You make Jesus proud. Hands down.
Love you much!
holly
Heather,
Don’t expend your much needed energy on negative comments. God reads your heart and all of our hearts and he blesses those that love Him.
I admire and respect you for your faith and courage. You and your family are in my prayers.
Hello, i just want to say that i am also appalled by some of the commentors here. I also just came from ashley’s blog where practically the same post was writtne by trish. I pretty much never comment here but i felt i needed to today! I confess, i do not know much about how you pray and believe in god. I am jewish, not that that means anything but i am just explaining myself. I just don’t like to see people acting in mean ways to others who don’t deserve it. Thats all. So, Heather i wish you well and i wish you health for you and your entire family! Thats all.
Michelle
Heather,
Heather - you have been on my prayer list since I found your blog. I will now add “anonymous” to my list because he/she is really hurting and in need of help.
On a bright note - I found out today that my very good friend that was diagnosed in December with stage 4 rectal cancer is “as close to remission as possible without actually being in remission” (doctor’s words). Thank you Lord for chemo!!!
I am so with you right now. Someone has said things about my dad just recently and I am trying to “be angry and sin not”.
You seem to have that part under control. It amazes me that people have the nerve to blog rude things. And its not good to mess with someones family….especially a girls daddy. Well done, Heather
Heather,
Remember the enemy is the accuser….there are just some people who make it their job to just be mean…I think maybe moderating your blog may be a decision you may have to think about, I moderate mine due to some family situations. But, blessed those that curse you. Pray for them as they are miserable without “Jesus”
First I have chills right now because when I clicked over to your blog, “Held” came on my AOL radio. Just had to share that.
I wish I could give you big {{{Hugs}}} in person Heather. I was reading your blog this AM and praying for you all. Your words express Truth in love. Your ability to write about suffering in light of the love of God for you is spectacular! Blessings you sweet sister in Christ.
Keeping you in my prayers,
Linda
Anonymous, mean commenters are cowards.
Oh Heather my heart hurts for the person who would feel it neccessary to say those things to such a sweet person like you. I imagine those words probably came from a spirit of brokeness. I’ve never met you before but you love my Jesus and so I love you. Your trust in the Lord and passion for Him has encouraged me so much!
I can’t believe this. This is the second blog I have been to today that the person having the blog has actually had to tell people not to be rude and go after their family (and over the weekend I saw it on another blog too). I am in shock. What the heck is wrong with people. The way I see it: I have made the choice to stop in at your blog. I am a visitor. You have given me the privelege of being able to peak into your life (and your families’ life). If I don’t like something that was said by you then I can move on to the next blog. What gives me or anyone else the right to say nasty things to you. If people don’t agree with what something has been said…they don’t need to read it!
Heather, I hope I am not sounding nasty myself. It truly upsets me that people can be that cruel. I guess they were not taught by their mama’s “if you don’t have something nice to say, than don’t say a thing!”
I love your blog. I love the honestly you put behind it. Thank you for letting me peak into you life.
Good for you, Heather! Greg is a great guy, and he loves you intensely, as you know. His comment was very moving, and obviously from the heart.
Much love,
Bob & Betty
You stand strong, friend.
Sounds like Satan is trying to creep in. He doesn’t stand a chance!
You go girl!
Praying for you and your family!
Hugs!
Kat
You go Girl. That is upsetting that people are so mean. Well just know that there are more of us than the ones leaving rude comments.
Heather, there is no reason for a person to be so mean as to say things about you or your family. But, they do those things because they don’t care what others think. Some seem to think they have the right to say whatever they want, but they do not on a personal blog.
I had to put my comments on moderation because of one person. I decided I wanted people to comment, but I wasn’t allowing her to tell me what I could write or couldn’t and she wasn’t going to threaten me again. It has worked out great. But, hopefully, you won’t have to do this.
Just know that most of the people coming here come because they want to keep in touch and pray for you and your family. You have been an inspiration for so many. I don’t know that I could have written such a good message to someone who wrote what anonymous did. The love of God showed through!
I am sorry you have to deal w/ this. I sure hope your Dad keeps commenting, I think it was such a sweet and loving comment he left you! He sounds like a great guy!
I am stunned to hear someone would take that sweet comment from your dad and turn it into something negative and destructive. The hard heartedness of some is unthinkable.
I read that “That’s my girl” and could feel the love, pride and joy he was expressing.
Good for you, Heather, in taking this strong stand. It is your blog. Since none of us are forced to go to any blog it amazes me what some will do and say. Just be assured that “type” is the minority and many, MANY support, uphold and pray for you often.
Susan
Heather, I just didn’t know people could be so mean. The same has happened on little Ashleys blog.
Stand tall girl/God is still in control.
Blessings to you and your family.
An Alabama Grandmother- Martha
AGREED!! but some people just TRY to be rude and hurtful, good for you for calling them out!!
Heather,
Your strength is amazing. Good for you. I was so touched by the comment your dad left and it saddens me that anyone would miscontrue it…accidentally or otherwise. What people can’t or won’t choose to understand, often scares them. The love of our Father in Heaven and your incredible faith in the face of such trying times are perfect examples. You keep doing what you’re doing and we’ll keep praying. By the way, I often go to your dad’s blog and love to read it as well.
I follow your blog and check in to make sure you are doing well and was saddened to see this post. You have such an uplifting blog and to think someone would say something mean about the comment your dad made. How yuck is that?
I follow your blog everyday to know how your doing and know what I need to pray for. My husband has had cancer twice…the first one in the 4th stage, and GOD healed HIS body…twice. I think your story is amazing and your so a inspiration for others and a testimony. My husband and I took alot out of what we went through and what we took was..a testimony. I sang a song during my testimony for my husband, as a spouse, that is no hill for a climber and no battle for a child of God. You are a climber and a child of God! You keep climbing. I am standing in faith with you through this…UNTIL!
oh and dont worry about what others say!! I say you go girl and go Dad! I know that he is so proud of you because for me…my husband is my hero. Oh and the hair…yeah the hair that my husband lost in clumps really got to me…I guess because when my husband had no hair, the cancer became real to me…but after the shock…I thought… “you are one hottie” and you my sister in Christ, are beautiful ..and I mean that.
Fight the good fight–keep the faith! My husband and I are standing with you!
By HIS stripes, you are healed!
Lisa
Your strength, your family, your faith and your God are glorified every time your fingers fine these keys.
Stand tall. And know that we arenot only praying for you, but for those that are living in such pain that only by inflicting it on others do they feel good. A bully is a bully on the playground or in cyberspace. How sad that their hearts are so hard and their heads so hollow.
Because of Jesus, Bobbie
I NEVER comment - I am too busy being a wife, mother, the nana of the year, friend and a person with two jobs. This is not a sad story - this is not poor me -this is JOYFUL me - I am so proud of my daughter and her attitude towards life. I am so proud of her three children and our conscience decision to “put our best foot forward”. We, behind the scenes of the blog world are living life to its fullest. Eli is going to the dentist today, Emma has an appointment at Shands, Easton is still giddy over her slumber party for her birthday. She and 3 of her best friends made smores on the outside firepit, looked longingly at the pool that was “off limits” due to her broken arm (thats another story) Laughed until two AM then Nana threatened to beat the chilren (just kidding or not!) When Eli became sad because he could not have his birthday now (you can only understand this if you are a small sensative boy) I spent two hours laying on the bed looking at web sites with star wars legos bookmarking things to give this sweet boy a smile and something to look forward to. All of this as Emma with her strong presence is walking around with plastic cleaning gloves on screaming at the top of her lungs about being a robot! This is my life - I LOVE IT. I am not caught up with mean people because there is so much love around me. So when people try to bring us down - we smile - thank our maker for our family and put our best foot forward - try it annonymous it might make your life a little happier because all that negativeness is sooooo draining. Got to go kiss all of the three “E’s” and thank God for all he has blessed us with -good and bad. It is not our choice what falls in our lap but it is our choice how we decide to handle it! I choose to be thankful and grateful for what I have today! Nana is now back to being what you call a “lurker” Don’t make me comment again! ;)
Remember how the people accused Christ of things He was not?
Papa knows the big picture…
and… we know the end of the story…
just kick the dirt of your shoes and keep walking girl…
you are a far better person…
hugs
Connie
Delete Away, Heather, Delete Away!
I have been reading your blog for a while. I come to you for inspiration in my life. I have prayed for you and ask those who read my blog to do the same.
It really makes me sick to my gut that anyone would attack you. That is one cheap shot.
But I am glad I see that the warrior chick in you is beginning to shine.
I am glad you took your stand!
In all honesty I have come around blogs that I don’t agree with what is posted, I just read and walk away. But why slander? why hurt someone intentionally?
I enjoy your writing Heather, keep it up!
Hugs and blessings
:roll:
Well Heather, I don’t know how I missed this one but I am here to say a few things. First, it blesses me so much to see when your dad makes his presence known here! How he loves you and watches over you, just like your Heavenly Father does. Double blessing here!!! And NANA, I just love her mother heart for her girl. She’s my kind of lady and don’t mess with our kids!! I think I know where your spunk comes from:) You always bless me when I read your words Heather, ALWAYS. I feel sorry for the ones who “don’t get it”. I agree with all the others, EXERCISE that delete button!! I am only sorry that you have to read the nastiness that needs to be deleted. Let it ROLL OFF. I love you and you have my heart and prayers.
Love and Hugs, Laurie in Ca.
Heather,
I know that you get a lot of comments everyday, so I don’t know if you will get to mine… but I just want to let you know that you have touched this 14 year old’s heart. Through every circumstance that you have gone through, you just keep on going. You let the light of the Lord shine through you in every post that you write. You are such an inspiration to me. You are raising a such wonderful Christian family. Even through all the business that your family has, you always have time to sit down and and dig into His Word. Thanks for taking us on this journey through your life!
Good for you Heather
I thought you dad’s comment was lovely.
Heather, I follow your blog because your faith in the midst of all of this inspires me greatly and has helped me to turn back to God and re-explore my relationship with Him. I don’t know why people can’t follow the rule “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” or, even better, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” ;) I say use your delete key liberally, but hopefully you won’t even have to see such hateful comments.