You have invaded my body with out invitation. You have robbed me of emotion, energy, and most of all time. Time with my family. Time wasted worrying over you, and what you will do next, when you will strike next. Time wasted worrying about the next scan, the next oncology appointment, the next…..
I will not let you steal my joy and my self confidence (even though you stole my hair.). I will not let you touch my heart. I will not let you steal the smile from my face or the beat in my step, though it has become weaker over the time I have known you. You have taken too much from me, so much from me. You are a shadow in my children’s faces, they worry about their mom and it shows. You are a shadow in my husbands eyes, he wonders how he can live alone, raise three kids alone. In those quiet moments, when he and I are alone, I see fear in his eyes. You are a shadow in my parents heart, wondering if/when they will have to bury their only child.
You are a shadow in my heart, whispering in my ear. “I am still here”.
and quietly I whisper back “Not for long”
That whisper is getting louder and louder day by day, moment by moment.
And sometime, soon I hope, it will drown out your voice.