You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
It’s really amazing how true that quote is. When we were told about Emma before her birth, I thought to myself “I can’t do this. I can’t possibly handle this. This can’t be real.” Yet it was, and I found that I was strong enough to handle it. I was asked by many people, many many times while going through the things we have been through with Emma “I just couldn’t do it if it happened to me, how you do it?”
Then brain cancer. I sat on my parents couch the day I got the call and thought “I can’t do this. Not now. I can’t handle this. This can’t be real.” Yet it was, and I have. And again many people asked me many many times “I just couldn’t do it if it happened to me, how do you do it?”
I often hear stories about people who have gone through similar circumstances as mine.. and they never once asked “why?”… they never once questioned Gods plan.
That isn’t me.
I question God all of the time about His plan for my life, not because I blame him, but because I trust Him enough to handle that anger. I trust Him enough to handle my pain. And I want to seek Him every single opportunity I get this side of heaven. I have asked why from the get go of Emma’s health crisis and then mine. I don’t look at that as a weakness. I don’t think God is shaking His head in heaven saying “She obviously doesn’t trust me.”
I think it is through asking “why” we find the strength to trust.
Are there things in your life that make you think “I can’t” Are there circumstances in your heart that you avoid because you can’t bear to go near them out of fear? Are you afraid to ask God Why? Are you afraid to tackle them head on because you just don’t think you can handle the results?
You’re right, YOU cant. But with Christ, You can… I believe wholeheartedly that I would not have had the strength or the emotional maturity to handle all that has come into my life without my Savior. I would be a ball in the corner, trembling and scared. And that is not to say that I have not been a ball in the corner, trembling and scared. But the one thing that has been constant, the one thing that I know for sure at those times….
I am in Christ’s hands.
When hard times strike, and you are scared out of your gourd… Whose hands are you in? Whose name to call out to? If it isn’t Christ, then friend you have been missing out. I am living proof that life isn’t raindrops and sunshine… but with Christ, your bad days can be a whole lot better… your outlook on life can be so drastically improved…
Because, remember what I always say…
No matter what, this ends well for me.
And it can for you too.