Sword Waving Angels…
May 5, 2008
The fatigue of chemo is kicking my butt. I feel like I have 100 lb. weights strapped to my legs. Its completely bizarre because you would think that fatigue would equal tiredness, but nope. I look around my house and see so many things that require my attention, yet I have absolutely no energy to accomplish any thing. Yesterday, I made myself go to church, and regretted every second of it. I had to have a stool to sit on during worship because I couldnt stand for more than 3 minutes (I am on the praise team). This last chemo has really taken a toll on me.
But….
I HAVE ONLY THREE MORE TO GO!
I physically had to force myself to take the last two pills on Friday. I cant describe how they make me feel. Nauseous doesn’t even touch it, and the headaches are like pinpricks all over my brain. I cant imagine how I would feel without the anti nausea medication.
And the fatigue. It lingers.
But….
I HAVE ONLY THREE MORE TO GO!
I am constantly reminding myself that I am one month closer to August… One month closer.
And then my mind goes to the unknown. What will happen when I don’t have the chemo to combat the cancer? What then?
Then I hear Him silently whisper “Do not be afraid, I know what I am doing”.
Yet I still am, and I can’t deny that.
They say that going off treatment is the second scariest point in a cancer patients life, only second to hearing the C word. I can attest to that. It is a bitter sweet, love hate relationship I have with the Chemo pills. But a woman at church told me to think of the chemo as Christ’s angels, fighting valiantly to save my life.
I have little sword waving angels. I like that thought.
Only three more battles to go.
The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
-Zeph. 3:17
Mighty To Save - Hillsong
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In other words: Play Nice
23 Responses to “Sword Waving Angels…”
I would love to hear from you!
Heather,
I’m still praying for you every day. You are almost to the finish line on chemo. THEN… you will begin to feel better. I’ll pray harder for you, Heather.
Love & Prayers,
Betty in Oklahoma
Three more! Wow!!! Keep fighting. We’ll keep knocking on Heaven gate. The Lord is so good. He will be there in three months. He’ll fight when the chemo isn’t. The chemo only fights because of Him anyways! God bless.
Fatigue without tiredness. Hmmm… never thought of it that way.
Praying for you today.
You are loved,
k-
kates last blog post..Happy Twelve
what a great verse. praying for you!
I like that thought also! These Angels have swords with light sabor sound effects, if they encounter any cancers cells…..I’m not too sure how to spell it but kinda like “BWANNNNNNNWA”.
I will be praying more for you. I can’t imagine the feeling of constant nausea. However, the Lord is right there beside you. He will help you.
Thank you for sharing your feelings, even when you don’t feel like doing it.
Love,
Lynn
Lynns last blog post..Algebra
And prayers for you will remain LONG PAST those last three! The lingering effects, oh they do linger so I’m praying for increased peace amid the process. Love ya my friend.
Lyrics last blog post..
You know what works better than chemo? I know you know! You’re surrounded by it constantly, uplifted on it continually. It is the prayers of all the saints you have inspired, touched, moved, reminded of Christ’s love, and restored hope in. Those prayers are mightier than any drug that man can make. You’ve got mine, as always!
Hang in there, girl! You’re almost done.
Jennifers last blog post..In the Dog House
Love you, girl, and praying, praying, praying. The Lord’s strength through you is amazing.
vickis last blog post..Saturday Ruminations & Praises
I am sorry that you have been hit with the exhaustion again, and the Mom in me needs to say, maybe give yourself a break and do church as a spectator, instead of a participant. Not only would it give you some much needed rest time, but it would allow you to see things as the rest of the congregation do. Hang in there Heather, or rather, fly in there, because you have such a wonderful attitude and such a great Source of Strength!!
Janbs last blog post..More Fairies
Oh, I’m sorry this chemo has taken such a heavy toll on you. I understand your fear of it ending though, because of the unknowns.
Know that you remain in my thoughts and prayers!
Overwhelmed With Joy!s last blog post..Launching my new home-based business.
Heather what chemo are you on? Exloda? I was on it for 6 months and then had to change..
I now have 3 days straight of chemo drips and wear a fanny pack on the same days 24/3. I KNOW how you feel…it is sooo bad….I have finished 4 out of 12 treatments so far…tomorrow-Thurs I am on my 5th…I cannot image doing them all–but like you I have to…
My friends daughters friend just found out she has brain cancer. She has surgery and has to do some radiation then chemo pills. I am assuming it is what you are on…she is young like you with 3 small children! This makes me sick! Literally!
Praying for you right now that you will be feeling better soon. Only 3 more to go! You can really begin the countdown now! Do not worry about the what if’s of tomorrow. God is already there! You will be just fine! Give yourself a couple of weeks or a month after the last chemo and then go somewhere for a weekend to celebrate!!
Gina Dunns last blog post..Senior Pics=Long Post..
I admire your strength - more than you know!
Danielles last blog post..my weekend…
Love how your friend put your fight. And again, I so admire your faith AND am encouraged by it.
cyns last blog post..I feel appreciated
do you take supplements for your liver, like Milk thistle?
what do they do to protect your other organs, I am curious.
praying for all of you, not just your liver.
david, in Big Bear Lakes last blog post..Chad’s letter , from joke of the day
How many more to go, Heather? Three!!!!!!! Yay!
Praying for you and strength and energy this week.
Much love,
holly
PS I wish I were in Florida—I am so missing the sound of the ocean!!
Holly Smiths last blog post..And LOOK!
Little sword waving Angels??? No way! They are hugh giant dudes that show up and then have to say… Be not Afraid! They are Cancer kicking major league legions of Angels!
Our God is an Awesome God and He created Awesome Angels and His Heather is an Awesome Warrior!
The result will be an Awesome victory!
because of Jesus, Bobbie
Psalm 20:5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests
bobbies last blog post..Birthday party part 2
Last 3 to go… yay!
Liza’s Eyeviews last blog post..And That Has Made All The Difference (The Joy Of Adoption)
I read that same verse, just yesterday and it resonated within me all the day long! You are such an encouragement Heather to so many and just know how loved you are!
Connie
Connie Hopkinss last blog post..ROUND OF APPLAUSE!
I saw this and wanted to encourage you with these words from author, Max Lucado! This is his devotional for 5/7/08 at this site: http://www.maxlucado.com/ I have cut and pasted it here for you since the devotional changes every day!
Enjoy and be encouraged!
God is Uncaused
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
“Remember that I am God, and there is no other God. I am God, and there is no one like me.”
Isaiah 46:9
No one breathed life into Yahweh. No one sired him. No one gave birth to him. No one caused him. No act brought him forth.
And since no act brought him forth, no act can take him out. Does he fear an earthquake? Does he tremble at a tornado? Hardly. Yahweh sleeps through storms and calms the winds with a word. Cancer does not trouble him, and cemeteries do not disturb him. He was here before they came. He’ll be here after they are gone. He is uncaused.
And he is ungoverned. Counselors can comfort you in the storm, but you need a God who can still the storm. Friends can hold your hand at your deathbed, but you need a Yahweh who has defeated the grave. Philosophers can debate the meaning of life, but you need a Lord who can declare the meaning of life.
1 of 365 devotionals in Grace for the Moment, Volume 2
Originally printed in Traveling Light