If we trust in the sovereignty of God, we wrestle our way to peace in the knowledge that if an answer to prayer is for our highest good, the God who loves us will not withhold it
-Lana Batement
I have been thinking a lot about Gods sovereignty lately. Like I wrote in my last post, I know He is sovereign still. Yet do I really believe that, really? Through this journey I have come to depend on Christ so much, and through that dependence on Him, I find that I am faced point blank with my own weakness. Even my own weakness of doubting His will and His sovereignty.
It comes back full circle.
However, I find that when I am unsure of which way to go or what to do… even when I think He has left me to my own demise, I was the one who turned away. I was the one who started doubting His perfect will for my life. I was the one who doubted my Savior.
He never doubts.
I find that, more so now then ever, I am wrestling my way to peace. I want so badly to be completely and undeniably steadfast in my belief, yet it is a constant daily struggle to find Him.
Yet I don’t stop searching.
When I don’t feel Him, I seek Him even more. When I cant see Him in my circumstances, I pray even harder. When I feel lost, I know He will find me.
I am opened up until I can no longer feel resentment to my current situation.
Still it is a daily battle of my will vs. His sovereignty.
Yet I know His sovereignty will prevail every time.
God knows the whole story of your life because He is the author of your biography. He knows the last chapter, and He thinks you are wonderful…
-Jan Silvious
He knows the story of your life and mine.
Imagine that….
Lundie says
July 23, 2008 at 9:24 amWow. Just love it when God comes at me from multiple directions with the same message.
Since the miscarriage, I have been struggling with my purpose, with understanding what prayer is for, what the “why” is for all the suffering that is going on…and in the middle of the night last night, God told me very clearly “For My Glory.” Though I still have many questions, I am getting that He will answer them in good time, and that I am going to put my faith in his Higher Good. His Sovereignty.
Yeah, my will vs. His Sovereignty. I get that.
((hugs))
Lund
Lundies last blog post..Be Still Sunday
Especially Heather says
July 23, 2008 at 9:31 am@Lundie : I am so sorry, and yet I totally understand where you are coming from. I have been wrestling with His sovereignty for many years, yet when I am just still and know that He has worked things out for my good…. I am okay.
It is when I get caught up in the “why me’s” and “what if’s” that I completely lose track of Him…
I totally get you..
-H
Owlhaven says
July 23, 2008 at 9:55 amPraying peace and healing for you, both physically and spiritually…
Hugs
Mary
Especially Heather says
July 23, 2008 at 9:56 am@Owlhaven : Thanks Mary, I really appreciate all the prayers 🙂
Gayle @ thewestiecrew says
July 23, 2008 at 10:07 amGod’s sovereignty is one of the hardest things to grasp. When bad things come down the pike that He has every power to change, in our finite little human minds, we think “Well, we are your children, so why don’t you fix this?”
And that’s where the enemy slips in trying to make us believe that He, indeed, does NOT love us and that He does NOT look out for our best interests.
So I have learned, through circumstances not nearly as trying as yours, dear sweet Heather, that this is where faith comes in. Faith that God is who He says He is, and that despite all the hurt and pain, somehow……somehow, THIS is best.
Gayle @ thewestiecrews last blog post..Lunch
Especially Heather says
July 23, 2008 at 10:13 am@Gayle @ thewestiecrew : That is why I love love love the song “None but Jesus” It brings right back to where I need to be every single time I hear/sing it.
His ways are not my ways, yet his ways are for my ETERNAL good… :happy:
Mrs says
July 23, 2008 at 11:46 amDo you have a link to None but Jesus? This is the second time I’ve heard this song mentioned.
Thank you for your beautiful post.
Mrss last blog post..The Part Where I Talk About the Bus Ride
Especially Heather says
July 23, 2008 at 12:02 pm@Mrs : Do you mean the lyrics or to purchase the song?
Lyrics
Purchase the song
Listen to the song
Hope that helped!
Mrs says
July 23, 2008 at 12:09 pmThat helped tremendously! Thank you!
Mrss last blog post..The Part Where I Talk About the Bus Ride
Dad says
July 23, 2008 at 12:20 pmYou are such a COOL KID! 😉
Love you Much, See You Later!
Dad
Especially Heather says
July 23, 2008 at 12:31 pm@Dad : Backatcha :tongue:
Heather says
July 23, 2008 at 12:54 pmHeather,
You’re not walking that road alone. Thank you so much for sharing.
Heather
Heathers last blog post..More about what I want to do when I grow up
Christina says
July 23, 2008 at 2:07 pmI have been going through this one a lot this year. I keep calling out to God “were are you” but like you I keep seeking harder, praying more and just standing on His promises.
Christinas last blog post..John 16:33
Liza's Eyeview says
July 23, 2008 at 2:30 pmThere’s an old praise song that keeps singing in my head as I was reading your post. Some lyrics are:
When I can’t see you I know you’re here
When I can’t feel you, I will not fear
I will trust in you and I will not be afraid…
remember that song?
love you and praying for you,
liza
Especially Heather says
July 23, 2008 at 2:39 pm@Heather : You are very welcome 🙂
@Christina : Sounds like we are in the same boat…. maybe we can paddle to the shore together 🙂
@Liza’s Eyeview : I haven’t heard of that song before, but it really hits the nail on the head for me and this post, doesnt it! 😎
Holly Smith says
July 23, 2008 at 3:43 pmI think of the song, too, “Savior, He can move the mountains (the ones I’m lookin’ at right this minute), my God is mighty to save, mighty to save!” He is forever writing our story…I love to hear Jan Silvious –she is a wise communicator.
I can rest in His sovereignty. I can be still. I must choose to daily.
Love and prayers for YOU!
Holly
Holly Smiths last blog post..July 21, 1990
Laura says
July 23, 2008 at 10:04 pmThanks for sharing your struggles and your dedication to the hope that is found only through Christ. I enjoy the songs that you post. Many echo the cry in my heart as well, in this time in my life. May God continue to hold you in the palm of His hand. He is and always will be. He is truly sovereign.
Lauras last blog post..airplanes
Gina Dunn says
July 24, 2008 at 10:03 amI have been there with my own cancer journey,surrendering my will to His sovereignty. It is not something that is ever perfected until heaven, I think. God is still bringing situations across my path and asking me to trust Him. I will tell you that going through cancer did make it easier to let go of things that come across my path now, however, there are still times where I am scared and have to remember what He has done for me. Keep seeking Him. He WILL meet you where you are!
Praying for you this day,
~Gina
holly smith says
July 24, 2008 at 11:33 amHey Heather,
I posted a version of Mighty to Save for you–stop by and let it soak you with blessings sometime.
Praying for you every single day–trusting God to move mountains for your every concern and care.
Love,
Holly
holly smiths last blog post..Branches Cut Off
Mark George says
July 24, 2008 at 4:04 pmI’m so glad you are my HOLY Devoted Woman :silly:
Amanda says
July 25, 2008 at 2:26 pmI can finally see your site again!!! 🙂 I did the QT update and all is well…now I can get caught up!
Amandas last blog post..32 week checkup
cyn says
July 27, 2008 at 8:19 amMissed reading you while I was on vacation . As always, your post inspired me and encouraged me. You are such a blessing (and I don’t know you): )
cyns last blog post..A few more random pics from our vacation
Susan - Penless Writer says
July 27, 2008 at 5:49 pmI so admire your steadfast faith in HIM!!!!
Susan
Susan – Penless Writers last blog post..A 50’s PARTY