So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. -Philippians 1:9-10 (The Message)
I was reading on accountability this morning, and this one line jumped out at me: Holy friendship – spiritual accountability – must begin with loving with the heart of Christ.
….With the heart of Christ.
Michelle and I were talking yesterday about holding each other accountable for our quiet times and daily relationship with Christ. She and I committed to each other that we would keep each other in check. In other words… we would ask each other those really tough questions about our daily walk/relationship with Christ & answer honestly and truthfully.
But what is true accountability? What model should we use?
- Flourishing Love: We must have an open, honest, loving relationship with one another. Without it, we cannot fully trust that what we confess is going to stay with the person we confess it to.
- Love much and Love well: We must love each other with the love of Christ, because without that love, true accountability is meaningless.
- Love appropriately: This one is tough. We must be honest with each other, no matter how ugly the truth is.. and trust that the other person is going to remain loyal.
- Use your head/test your feelings: We must balance our feelings with the word of God above anything else.
- Live a life that Jesus would be proud of: This one is self explanatory.
- Getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God: This is the one that is so meaningful. True accountability is caring about someone so much that your desire is to help them live a life that brings them & others closer to Christ.
Now lets take a look at what Spiritual accountability is not:
- To gossip about others
- To be judgmental of others
Those 2 things grieve the heart of Christ, and we need to be very very careful that we do not turn our spiritual accountability with someone into a spiritual “beating” of another person. Trust me, it is so very easy to do… sometimes without even knowing your doing it. It could be as simple as using someones behavior as an example and then it goes south from there, turning into something that it never was intended to become.
Christian life is hard enough… you need someone you can trust wholeheartedly with the good, bad and not so pretty.
So I encourage you, if you do not have one already, to get a spiritual accountability partner, whether it be your best friend or your spouse. If neither of those work for you, talk to your Pastor/Elder and ask him to hold you accountable.
Trust me.. It is a difficult process, but oh so very worth it in the end.
Thank you for this post, Heather. I have several close Christian friends, and I can count on them to tell me what I need to hear. Note that I did not say “what I WANT to hear,” because sometimes what I need to hear stings! We were recently going through a difficult time of living with my inlaws (that was a very long 10 weeks!) and I was complaining… one of my friends told me that I needed to be thankful, count my blessings that we had a place to live during a time of chaos, and stop being a whiner! Wow, did that ever put me in my place… and she was so very right! Ouch!
Having friends who listen and commiserate is great… but you are right, sometimes you just need somebody to hold you accountable, even if it seems like tough love at the time.
Thanks for sharing this with us Heather…wonderfully convicting reminders!
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Everytime I visit and read your new posts, I just think to myself, “my, has Heather grown so much spiritually…” And I thought you were a great Christian inspiration before! Thank you for living such a wonderful example of the Christ serving life.
Finding spiritual accountability is so very important. I believe that is why God wants us in His Body, not out there on our own as an island. Left to our own devices, we can so very easily deceive ourselves, and not even know it. It is special that you have someone in your life who will help your walk to prosper, as you will hers…
Blessings…
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Hello Heather! It is nice to “meet you” this is my first visit to your blog and I have spent 2 hours going through reading your amazing story and learning of your amazing faith. Reminding me of mine is a very important thing you did today. My husband had a brain tumor removed in June 2007, we got married in July 2007, built a house in August 2007 and celebrated our 1 year anniversary in July 2008. We were told at his 6 month post op mri that he should go for a follow up mri in September of this year ( just as you had an mri in sep ) and we have not done it yet…. the fear I think of hearing bad news was stopping us. The faith that God is with us now just as he was then had not found me… until tonight. Thank you for reminding me. We will be scheduling the followup after the holidays.
Blessings to you and your amazing family,
Donna R
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Heather, you are very blessed to have a friend that you can count on like that. Hang on to her – she’s a rare find!
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Wise words….thank you, Heather! Merry Christmas, Chrissy
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