We, as Christians think we should be joyful and full of praise all. of. the. time. Yes, it is true that God intends for us to live joyful lives… but where does that leave those of us who, as Christians, suffer from depression? Where does that leave our ability to tell others of our emotions and feelings.
Where does that leave our hearts.
I went to my Practitioner yesterday and told her that I thought I was depressed… I think that the entire “Cancer/Emma Thing” has caught up with me and I am having a hard time dealing with it.
There, I said it. It is out in the open. I am depressed.
Most brain cancer patients suffer from depression, especially those who have gone through brain surgery, radiation and chemotherapy, like I have. Your mood receptors are in the frontal lobes of your brain, and that is where my tumor was located. That is the part of my brain that they “removed” and that is the part of my brain that received high doses of radiation.
I am trying to come to terms with the “new” me, and yet I terribly miss the “old” me. I am trying to come to terms with those little things that I notice have changed, but others don’t. Most people tell me that they do not notice anything different about the way that I talk or form my sentences, but they do not know that it takes a heck of alot of effort and fortitude now to put those words and sentences together… and forget telling a story in the right order, that doesn’t happen anymore for me. I get frustrated when I cant find the right word (yet I see it in my mind), and take long pauses in the midst of a sentence. I say random things in response to people when I am nervous (Example, someone asked me how I was feeling…. I said Thank You..)
In other words.. I miss the old me. I miss the Heather that I once was.. the Heather that didn’t have to think before she formed her words, they just came naturally.. the Heather that didn’t have to pause to find the right word, it was just there. The Heather that didn’t fly off the handle at every little thing because I cant gauge my emotional meter.
I told my practioner that I wasn’t afraid of death… its the dying part that I am terrified of. I am terrified of the process that I am going to have to go through to get there. See, brain cancer is not like other cancers.. there is no remission. The cancer cells are still in my brain, they just havent formed tumors. And no one can tell you if they will. You wait for a clean MRI, petrified of the results, and then when you get the all clear, it starts all over again for 2 months.
She asked me if I had attended any support groups… My response? The people are all dying. It is hard to go to a support group and notice that the seat next to you, the one that was always filled with a person, is now empty.
It depressed me even more.
Add to that, Emma Grace and her terminal illness.
I know that I have tons to be thankful for, I am alive… I do not have any visible disabilities. I am just having a hard time coping with the current stage of my life, and I need a little help.
As Christians, it is okay to ask for help… Depression is not a sin, it doesnt mean you are weak, it has nothing to do with how close you are to Christ. It can happen to those of us who have strong relationships with Christ, who are in the Word daily and pray fervently.
It is not a sin, or sign of spiritual weakness to ask for medication for depression.
Read that again.
I am so glad that I have Godly people that surround me and help me through this time, and I am so thankful that I have a practioner who listened to me when I told her I needed something to help me get through this period in my life.
If you suffer from depression, whether it be cancer related or something entirely different, please seek help. You do not have to walk this road alone. You do not have to be strong and hide your emotions. You are not weak, nor are you in sin.
You are human. Just like me.
Heather, that was SO well written. THANK YOU for putting into words what those of us can’t seem to sometimes. It’s so tough sometimes being a Christian and realizing that I also suffer from depression. People tell me all the time that God doesn’t want me to feel that way, etc. and I get so discouraged, because they NEVER tell me it’s “okay” to ask for help. I don’t WANT to feel this way, but I DO. And, I need help with that. THANK YOU so much for these words. I really needed them today.
Love,
Tammy Kinman
I’ve been posting about my own journey with depression. It is a very real thing and I have been amazed at how many people are suffering silently, afraid to admit what they’re dealing with. My prayer is that by sharing, it will allow others to feel the freedom to come out of hiding. Depression stinks, but having people to travel the road with you makes it a little less stinky!
Praying for you!
Angelas last blog post..Careful what you pray for!
Thank you for this post. Well, thank you for your whole site. I, too, am depressed, and I’ve been going through the same struggles you described, I’m a christian, I am multiply blessed and feel guilty for being depressed. I don’t think my husband loves me. There, i said it. He is unaffectionate (has always been, really), unemotional, we sleep in separate beds, he doesn’t accompany me to church (he is a christian, but has been “angry” with God since his dad died from cancer at a really young age.)Theres much much more. Sometimes I wonder why I continue to cling to the hope that Ill wake up one morning and he’ll be loving and supportive. I believe in my marriage vows, therefore I’m determined to stay, but it’s getting hard to get out of bed. I’ve prayed to God to change him, to soften his heart toward me and the Lord. I’ve prayed to God to change me, if the problem lies in me, to reveal it to me. I feel mired in the mud. Your words help me a lot. You may not want to hear it, but you’re one of those people I look up to because you really have reasons to be depressed, much more than me. Neither of my kids has any kind of illness and I haven’t had to go through cancer. It helps me keep my life in perspective to see you, who has sufferred so much, remain so uplifting. Thank you.
Amen, as a fellow sister who struggles with depression and had to seek help!
Laurels last blog post..The Test of Mission Impossible
VERY well written. Thank you for your transparency. And, truthfully, if you NEVER admitted this in the blog-o-sphere, you would be one of those annoying ever-perky bloggers that I would have to quit reading eventually.
Went to a Chondra Pierce performance recently. If you’ve seen her recently you know she is being very open about her own struggle with depression. She had one woman tell her after a performance that she didn’t think Christians should use anti-depressants, etc. Chondra told her, “That’s fine — now you just hand me your glasses before you drive home.” Indeed — ask for help, use any help available to you.
Thank you, again, for sharing your struggles with us and allowing us the honor of praying for you.
Sarah S.s last blog post..And to All,… A Good Night!
I’m so glad you’re open about your struggles. Depression is something so many people fight, but so few people talk about! I went through a very tough season a few years ago, and nearly lost my job before I realized that depression was controlling my life.
Thank you for being so open – and I hope your depression eases soon!
Jenis last blog post..Rounding Out
About 1 1/2 years ago I went to my family doctor and sobbed uncontrollably and admitted I was depressed and just couldn’t do “it” anymore. His reply? “Jenny…you should know better. You’re a pastor’s wife of all things.”
Oh yeah, that really helped. I never went back to him.
Jenny 8675309s last blog post..Christmas Bloopers
Heather, I don’t even know what to say other than I am praying for you. I have no “file” for what you are going through, but have watched my mom deal with depression. I’m so thankful that she too had a doctor put her on something. I have my mom back. I praise God for science and meds that can help, even if it’s just for a season.
I’ll be praying that through the power of God you will get much of the “old” Heather back.
Natalie @ I AM (not)s last blog post..Sneezin’ In the New Year
Dear Heather,
I know what you mean.
My best friend ( Christian) jusst commitred suicide, I am devestated, filled with grief, overwhelming.
I have gone through a lot of pain in my life but this one is just so overwhelming. You say talk to people, most people don’t want to hear and when they do they don’t know what to say and I find that they really don’t want to be around someone who is crying all the time( a lot of the time) some of the things I talk about are just TOO BIG! So I think “if I can get REALLY close to the Lord He will comfort me.
That is what I want, the comfort of the Lord. What do I do? repeat the same scripture all the time? ex. For the lord is with you wherever you go.
I have been following your blog and was thinking about it today at work, you get comforted but as now you keep struggling which is completely human and expected as I feel the Lord uses us in those moments to strengthen us.
I thought of you and I was going to be as determined as you are, were and plant my nose in the bible all the time.
One thing though God has to answer, He promised, so I am hanging on to Him as I know you are.
My prayers are with you, I can try to understand what you are going through and I also believe that you will pull through.
God bless you Heather, It is necessary I feel for you to post the not so good times, it helps others to know that our pain is normal.
Thank you. Thank you for sharing the thoughts that so many of us don’t know how to speak ourselves.
Shannons last blog post..Better than I ever imagined
I, too, needed to read these words today. I have battled with depression, mostly in private, for about three years now. I think I’m going to find a new doctor.
Amys last blog post..The Organizing Bug
Oh Sweet Heather,
I love you girl and understand depression so well. I fought off getting help for it after my chemo and radiation 12 years ago. I kept thinking if I prayed hard enough it would be healed. I felt it would be a cop out on my faith to take medication. I was wrong and with God’s blessing, take medication now and it has helped so much. It has brought some much needed balance in my head and heart. I am praying for you sweet friend, asking God to help you with your new normal you live each day. Praying for Emma too, asking Him to give you the strength and grace to make it through each and every day. So many love you and I am near the top of the list here. I love you Heather. You have blessed my life abundantly. :wub: :heart:
Love and Hugs Sweetie, Laurie in Ca.
Oh Heather I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a big hug every day!Do you have a Happy Thought List? When I was in the hospital thinking my life was over I had to have my Happy Thought List.
This list had things that made me happy. I would read it through any time I felt depressed. We know that David had to encourage himself, and so must we sometimes. Even if it was little things like having chocolate fondue with my kids, seeing the snow falling, hearing the bells at a church, watching Sleeping Beauty again and again.
My Happy Thought List helped me on days when I felt I couldn’t get my brain to wrap around God. There are times we just struggle with seeking Him. That’s the battle of the mind the enemy fights in our lives. But having my list helped me get my mind to be able to think about the Lord and seek Him for the joy I needed.
The enemy will tell us this lie when we try to talk to God, “That’s not good enough. You haven’t talked to me all day and NOW you think you can get close to me?” That is not from God, it is from the enemy. We have to fight through that. I enjoy reading over hymns as I seek to connect with the Lord during difficult times. It’s the godly music that makes the heart tender to hear and receive His Word. It’s no wonder he wants us to sing praises to Him. ;O) It works!
Love and hugs!
Sisterlisa
Sisterlisas last blog post..The Landmarks
Hi Heather,
I had a hard, hard time last year when our older daughters first came home and were themselves very unhappy. There’s a saying that a mom can’t be happier than her least happy child. I don’t think that is true for everyone, but it was true for me. Their unhappiness and resultant bad behavior weighted me down terribly. When I tried an antidepressant, it made things worse. Maybe I needed a different one, I don’t know. But my husband made some changes with our homeschooling, taking on the burden of teaching them himself. (They were so terribly resistant to me that it was a war zone). He also made sure I got some time away each week and that I go to be much earlier than usual. Things gradually improved, but it was very difficult for several months. I sympathize with your feelings and I’ll be praying for you.
Hugs,
Mary
owlhavens last blog post..Iron Man: Raising Sons, Raising Heroes
As a fellow depression sufferer, I admire you honesty. I love how you are encouraging people to seek help. I once went to a church that firmly believed that if you were suffering in some way it was because of the sin you were still in. I felt ashamed of my depression and in turn didn’t seek medication when I should have.
Now I go to a different church and feel much more comfortable about my depression. Sure, it gets me down and I don’t like that, but I am more comfortable with me.
Thanks again, I have read for a while, but I believe this is the first time commenting.
Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Do you know what time it is?
PS– You probably know this, we adopted the ‘older’ girls I was referring to in 2007 at the ages of 9 and 11.
Mary, mom to 10
owlhavens last blog post..Iron Man: Raising Sons, Raising Heroes
Hi Heather,
I admire your honesty with yourself- what you said is so true. I think people who admit they need help for depression are stronger than those who don’t… I hate it when people see taking medication for depression as a thing of weakness. I am proud of you!!!
I used to not think clearly, and I just felt listless but I am on antidepressants and I finally like me! I feel happier, more motivated and clear headed. I am so thankful that I put my pride aside and just did it… it has made me a better person.
BTW your doctor may tell you this- but the first couple week on antidepressants are often rough… because you brain has to adjust. Prepare yourself for it and stick it out because it is worth it!
lenas last blog post..My Secret…
Put me on your happy list! :angel: :blink: :cheerful: :blush: :biggrin: :ninja: :shocked: :sideways: :silly: :tongue: :w00t: :whistle: :wub:
Dads last blog post..Welcome to Grace
You know what, Heather? I think you are such a blessing. I didn’t know you before very well, but you are very much a blessing just the way God is making you. I’m praying for you in this journey and encouraged by the fact that I know God will equip you with Himself, His strength and fellow sojourners to walk it out.
Love you much in Christ, my Sister!
Holly
PS Jan Dravecky (sp?) came and spoke at our women’s retreat a couple of years ago–her husband Dave and she have a ministry here in Colorado Springs. I’m pretty sure they both have written books. Her message was SUCH a blessing. Perhaps you can get your hands on one. They also had a cancer survivor’s Bible with testimonies, but I do not know if they still have it available.
Holly @ Crownlaiddowns last blog post..Investment and Inheritance
Dear Heather,
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly today. It is sometimes hard to remember what you face each day as when you write, everything comes across so clearly and smoothly. You definitely have a gift in that area.
I do understand how cancer changes you and how sometimes you do just wish for the “old you” to be back again. For whatever reason God has allowed this, he intends it for your good. I do not mean that tritely at all.
I also know what you mean when you say that you do not fear death, but the process of dying. I have thought of that many times myself.
Each day is a step of faith, is it not?
Praying for you and so glad you sought help.
Love,
Gina
P.S. I already typed this once, but it did not go through. Please forgive me if it gets sent twice.
Gina Dunns last blog post..Christmas 2008!
Amen, sister! Amen!
God bless you~ Andrea
Heather,
First of all thank you for being so open about your struggle. My prayers are with you that you are able to find peace and help, whether that is through doctors and medicine or not. Isn’t it God who guides the hands of those doctors and the medicines? I need to tell that too myself too.
I need to call my doctor today. I have been on a journey for a year now watching my DH nearly die {and even when I was told by doctors that he likely would no one in my life would let me talk about it or grieve} Thank God we did find out he didn’t have a fatal illness but I am still on the roller coaster ride of trying to keep him alive through 17 admissions to the hospital since January and sometimes all I want to do is go back to bed every morning and pull the blankets up over my head and cry all day. But instead of unwavering support I get scrutinized and analyzed. How nice it would be to just be able to rest on someones shoulder and be able to bawl my head off and let my heart break and just be loved and not get “advice”. I’ve stopped being who I am, I even censor myself on my own blog. I’m tired of being angry.
Sorry to hijack your blog like this. Your post just could not have come at a better time. Thank you.
Rhondas last blog post..How Many Kings
Heather, thanks for sharing that. I have been on anti-depressants for about a year now. Before I made the leap to start taking them, I really thought I wasn’t a “strong enough” person or that I wasn’t as faithful as I should be, just because I was depressed.
Thank you for being an encouragement to those who are in that place right this very moment.
Carries last blog post..Day #2
Oh, dear sweet, Heather, I am so sorry you are having all these difficulties. There is certainly nothing wrong in asking for help. We can all understand how you feel.
I still pray for your healing. Nothing is too hard for our God. And you know He will never leave nor forsake you, and that you are still in His loving care.
Love and Hugs,
Cathy
Cathys last blog post..Healing
So well said. I tire of people who think “how can a person be depressed when they have the joy of the Lord as their strengh?”. Ugh. Depression is real and knows know age or religion. Thank you for your frankness and thank you for letting people know it’s okay to get help. Even Moses needed Aaron and Hur to help hold up his arms. Sometimes never being alone means having other people there to lift us up. And finally, thank you for being faithful to you blog ministry, even when it’s difficult.
Debbies last blog post..Learn to Crochet
You put it so nicely, but you still made it real. That’s you, Heather. Just keeping it real.
I will be praying for you. After my bad seizure in July, I was scared to death that I’d have another one. I cried all the time, but I finally realized that the Lord is not going to put more on me than I can handle. He’s an amazing God isn’t he?
Lynns last blog post..Just not bloggy lately.
Heather, what a timely post. This time of year especially, many people come to realize their depression, it somehow comes to the surface when we least expect it. I have been having a hard time since entering perimenopause and often thought to post something about it, as it is clearly a hormone related incident. My depression is very cyclical because of that and many times I can’t recognize it until after the fact. I always think I can work through the bad days and try to go it alone. I haven’t spoken to a doctor about it yet but I know I should. It isn’t because I feel ashamed about admitting I struggle with depression but more because by the time it is over I don’t think about it again until the next month. I realize it is different from what you are experiencing but it is another aspect of depression that many women experience. God bless you, Heather, I am always praying for you and your family.
Roses last blog post..Confession is Good for the Soul
My dear friend Heather, I LOVE this post. It is so real and so raw. For years, especially as a Christian, I hid my diagnosis of Bipolar. It is such an easily handed out diagnosis these days, but began dealing with it far before it was en vogue. As a believer in Christ, I felt it was such a betrayal of my faith AND my witness. It took me years to come to terms with what depression meant for me as a Christian. And what being a Christian meant to my depression.
The fact is, I am both a believer in Christ and one of the millions in this world who battles depression. Being one does not make me any less of being the other.
The great thing about the believer who battles depression is that we already know that the battle was already won.
Hang in there, Heather. You are FAR from alone. :happy:
Dear Heather,
As always you are so real, and as I sat here reading the other comments it’s so easy to see how God is using you GREATLY…
We are the body of Christ. Christ came for the sick, those who needed His healing touch. We all have feelings and emotions that need healing. Thanks for sharing yours with us.
You’ve been through so much, and your love for Jesus has remained steadfast.
Praying you get the help you need.
You’ve made it easier for people to pray and understand. You’ve helped me with my son with a brain tumor too.
Love you, and Happy New Year!!! :heart:
Susans last blog post..Happy New Year
Amen sister
Depression is NOT a sin, nor is it weakness! I have only had a small glimpse into the world of depression, and from my minimal experience I would not want to be there alone. Help is available, and I hope and pray your words will encourage some more to seek help. As Christians we feel guilty asking for help, that our faith should be enough…but God wants the best for us, and that includes medication if needed.
Hugs and prayers from Ireland.
JanMary, N Irelands last blog post..My Bloggy Year 2008 in review
Isn’t our Creator awesome! He even thought to give doctors the wisdom in caring for our needs. He already created the person(s) who would know just how to make these medications to help our bodies when we need it most. I often find myself sad that perhaps He created a cure for cancer but just maybe this brilliant mind was aborted…. I pray God continues to guide us all each day and give us the courage we need to serve Him. Prayers of comfort and peace for your this day…by the way, the room is lovely! The bedding was exactly what she was hoping to receive for her birthday. She even cleaned her room!
This is the phone conversation I needed to have with you. You speak to my heart. Dead on. Thank you for being “that” friend. Your words? perfection.
My huaband struggles with depression. He’s much better now than he was, praise God. I will forever be thankful for antidepressants and anxiety drugs.
Have you heard of Chonda Pierce? She’s a hillarious Christian comedian… who went through depression herself. She has wonderful insights to it.
Part 1: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=2twMznJHc3E
Part 2: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=7Pn5NZY_fQk&feature=related
Jens last blog post..It’s Christmas Eve
From a fellow sister in Christ and a fellow sufferer of depression – you are not alone, Heather! I will be giving a talk to my MOPS group in a few weeks about this topic and the fact that no one talks about it. I know God wants me to talk about it, but I’m scared to death (I’m not a “speaker”)! Thanks for the encouragement. Christ used my depression to bring me closer to him, and for that I give Him praise! May you feel Him close by, just where He already is.
Sharon
Amen! Thank you so much for the encouragment. Three years ago when I came to grips with my depression one of the biggest obsticals I felt was the Christian community. As a Youth Pastor’s wife I felt that if people knew they would wonder what was wrong with my spiritual life. Thankfully I had a wonderful Christian Doctor who helped me see clearly that it is not a sin, there wasn’t anything wrong with me spiritually. I will thankfully take my anti-depressant every night, knowing that my thinking, my life is better because of the medication.
Thank you again for such wisdom.
Amen!
Your post has struck a cord with so many! I call it “chemo brain” or remind those around me that “I have no filter”. My cancer treatments are why I’m not being able to speak the way I did “BC” (before cancer). Communication and speaking are my livelihood, and it’s hard some days to get used to the “new normal” that my cancer has created. I hate that my emotions are on the surface all of the time now, but I’m alive, I’m a christian, and I see a therapist…and I’m open to depression medication if it gets worse. God bless and have a wonderful New Year!
Dear Heather,
Your so right, maybe you can find a place where there is support and encouragement that is christian based for depression? I am going through menopause and have been since I was 39, found out 2 yrs ago my daughter has HIV, she was 2 mos pregnant- we have 7 children and always homeschooled and tried to live right so I have been dealing with a lott of depression now for a few years and I am praying to get plugged into a home church , we moved to GA and there have been NO churches here in this area where they have praise and worship.
I have been reading your blog for a long time, I pray for you and Emma Grace daily. I would love to encourage each other. As I have no friends here and no church family .I will keep praying for you and know God is there and whatever choice you make we are there for YOU!!!
Dear Heather,
It’s just awful to feel depressed, isn’t it? I know my depression isn’t coming from the same root as yours but it can be very disabling. I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way but it is perfectly understandable, heck I’ve even wondered how you’ve been able to handle the cancer and Emma so beautifully (: You are very normal, to be dealing with all that you have. We really don’t know why God hands us the things He does but we accept them and look to Him for strength. I personally think you’re one of the strongest people I know, even though we’ve never met (: Hang in there, keep praying and know that I will be praying as well for you all. Your blog has really struck a chord with so many of us readers Heather and we’re all here for you, praying, believing and enjoying your candid, honest posts. People here on this blog care a great deal about you and your family! Be encouraged!! Best wishes!
Molly (:
I am going to print out your post and paste the last three paragraphs in my Bible. It will give me the point of reference that I need when faced with those disapproving looks and comments.
You have no idea how your blog ministers to my heart. This post was such a God thing. Clearly stated. Perfectly timed.
Thank you, Heather. I’ll be praying that your depression is only for a season.
Heather – I’ve commented once or twice before; found your blog last year through a friend in Sarasota area who knows of your family.
I am so glad you seeked treatment for your depression. I think there are far more people who have been there than most realize (especially Christians, unfortunately). After having post-partum depression after each of my 3 children, it’s now become “chronic” for me, though usually under control, both through meds and natural health practices. I understand what it’s like to miss the old me. But slowly, I’ve come to like the new me that has learned to accept God-allowed limitations. Hang in there, you will feel better!
I also wanted to mention that my twin sister lost her fight with melanoma, which spread to her brain, 3 years ago at the age of 39. She said the same thing: that she was most afraid of the process of what would/could happen before she died. But you know what? God gave her the peace and grace to handle it – as each step came. And she also was blessed with far less issues and symptoms than is “normal”. Though she didn’t get the complete earthly healing we hoped and prayed for; God provided in sooo many other ways for her, and for her husband and children. He will provide for you too.
Heather,
Your honesty and candor as always amazes me. This was beautifully and truthfully written and we are praying for you.
May you find peace in the New Year.
Many hugs,
Heidi
Butterfly Mamas last blog post..2008 Snapshot!
Heather, I’ve been in the dark lonliness of depression severly three times in my life. I never wish to return to those days or have any of my loved ones go through the agony. For all those who have not yet been diagnosed or those who do not believe that they could suffer from depression, I thank you for your post. I have learnt (am learning still) it is only through Jesus that we can cope when life hits us with this heaviness. Take your medication.
One day at a time, sweet Jesus, it’s all I ask of you. :heart:
Lindys last blog post..Stepping back in time: July 2007
Thank you and AMEN! Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for using your eloquence to show Christ through your weakness. We love you, MB
Found your blog while blog hopping. Thanks for this post. My mom is on medication and I think some of her “friends” have kinda made her feel guilty about it… because that will TOTALLY help her out! You put this in to words in such a wonderful way!
http://elislids.blogspot.com/
Hello, Heather. I loved this post of yours. I have been on anti-depressants ever since my son was born several years ago. I also believe it is NOT a sin to be depressed and that you MUST ask for help medically if you feel depressed. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. God is there with us, yes, but medication helps, too. I admire your faith – you are an inspiration to me. I have followed your blog for over a year now. I was diagnosed on December 8, 2008, with invasive breast cancer. I know that my cancer is VERY different from yours, but some of the feelings of isolation are the same. One can NEVER know the feeling unless they have been there. So, I just wanted to thank you for your blog. I will be praying for you on your Journey and may the Lord be with you constantly and may you feel Him there always. :heart:
Audreys last blog post..A New Year and Thankfulness
Amen Heather! Very well said and very much needed to be said and heard.
Lauras last blog post..Happy New Year’s Eve!
Bless you, Heather. I’ve only had a slight depression once, and it was after my first child was born. I wanted to go home and the doctor said I had to stay a few more days and I went to crying.
I have a sister-in-law who has gone through cancer for the last 4 years, female first, and then, in April of this year, she found out she had cancer in both lungs. She’s never smoked. She had surgery on the left lung and they took out part of it. She was told that lung was fine and there would be no further treatment. They had to give her chemo on the small spot they found on the right since they couldn’t operate on it. Then, after that bout of chemo, she went for her checkup, only to find that they had not gotten all the cancer on her left lung – one small spot remained. So she just finished up her 6 weeks of treatment yesterday, the last day of 2008. Now, she has to wait again. I know she has to be depressed. My brother told my husband that she is doing good, although she cries easily. I feel like she’s depressed because she thought she was over the worse, and was beginning to get her strength back, and then she was hit with chemo again. It took her 6 months to get better from the first bout and now she’s just underwent it again.
Will be praying for you. I think you have a right to be depressed. Will be praying for your speech, that you are able to form your sentences as you used to do -that the old Heather comes back. Our God is a God of miracles, and I’m praying for one for you!!
Barbs last blog post..Happy New Year 2009
This is a post that I think a lot of us needed to hear. Thank you for putting it out there so eloquently. Life is dang hard sometimes, it’s no wonder that sometimes it seems incredibly overwhelming. *hugs to you*
Jennifers last blog post..How’d I Do?
Hi Heather
Its normal to be depressed – You have a BRAIN TUMOUR. I do to. It also affects my speech. I try not to let it bother me, blogging helps… keep it up.
What I miss is how I used to look with my long blond hair that took years to grow. I still have to get used to looking at photos or myself in the mirror. Silly, I know, but it makes it obvious there is something wrong.
Keep well
d:)
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