It’s not about me…

I was reading my devotional today from Proverbs 31 Ministries and it really spoke to me. It spoke, not only to me as a mother, but me as a child of God. It spoke to the heart of the issues that I have faced and still face.

You see, I have had a “defeatist” attitude these last few months. I failed to see Gods fingerprints all over my circumstances, and I have really been convicted of that.

I have forgotten the one thing that I shouldn’t have:

Its not about me.

During my accountability meeting with Michelle last night, we chatted about our lives and how much we both have had to endure over the last two years. Its easy to see Gods fingerprints in the trials of someone else, but so very difficult to see them on your own. As she was talking about their trials, I was thinking “Yes, but God delivered” & “Yes, but don’t you see, He was right there in that circumstance.”

Then I said something that really convicted me. Really. Convicted. Me.

“You need to look at your glass as half full, instead of half empty.”

That one sentence stopped me dead in my tracks.

You see, I have been looking at my glass has half empty for the past several months. I have moped and been discouraged that God wasn’t delivering the answers to my prayers. He wasn’t responding with a yes or no… in fact He wasn’t responding at all.

It was as if He was silent.

When, in actuality, He was holding my hand through my tantrum and patiently waiting for me to realize that His fingerprints are all over my circumstances, even if I cant feel his hand on my life. He was gently standing right next to me, waiting for me to look around and wake up. He was quietly saying to me “If you would just look around you, you would see.”

I was too busy looking behind me.

Then I read this verse in my devotional:

“You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.” Psalm 18:35

He gives me His shield of victory. He holds me in His right hand. He stoops down to make me great.

Its not about me. This life isn’t about me. These trials that I face aren’t about Heather.

It’s all about Him. Its about His plan for my life, even if that plan makes little sense to me right now. Its about trusting Him to do His will in my life… even if it isn’t according to my plan.

Its about quietly resting my heart in His hands, and giving my life completely over to Him.

Completely. Not just the parts that I think He deserves or would make Him proud, but the parts that hurt and that are vile. The parts that just plain suck.

Those parts.

Its about believing that nothing is impossible with Him, and everything is impossible without Him.

Its all about Him