Most of you who follow me on facebook now that my father in law passed away on good Friday from Cancer. We traveled to Oklahoma on Sunday for what was expected to be a very… sad week. Marks father had a very rare cancer that there was no treatment for. Expecting the end never makes the end any easier.
Marks mom, Allana, called him 20 minutes after it had happened while we were at Busch Gardens. As soon as I saw the expression on his face and the monumentally large amounts of tears in his eyes, I knew. The trip took on a totally different feel. As soon as he got off of the phone, I suggested we leave so he could process this with out every one gawking.
I am glad we did.
As we (Mark, Me, Easton and Elijah… Emma stayed back with my parents) left for Oklahoma, I had some reservations about going and taking my children. Not because of anything other than cancer + funeral = too close to home for my children. I want to shield them from pain as much as possible where the “C” word is concerned. I wasn’t worried so much about Elijah.. It was Easton that I was concerned about. When we first found out that grandpa had cancer and was going to die, she made it very clear that she did not want to go to the funeral. It would be too hard, she said. But when Mark was talking to his brother on the phone that Friday about why we weren’t bringing the children, she sat up and said “If Grandma wants me to go, I will go…”
She amazes me every. single. day.
After looking up prices for plane tickets for four people over the Easter weekend, we (instantly) decided to drive.
Did I mention that I had singed melted my wig that Thursday when opening the oven?
True that.
So, Saturday I ran to the wig store and bought the only wig that they had in my color that looked half way decent on my head, (because they only had my wig, ya know the one I caught on fire, in gray, and that would so not be pretty), and then went to buy clothes for the funeral because I didn’t think that shorts and flip flops were appropriate attire.
Speaking of the Memorial Service. It was wonderful. The boys (Mark, Jeff, and Jim) made a video of their dads life. Mark stood up and talked about the memories that he had of his dad. I was amazed that he could stand up there and not break down.
Mark and his dad shared a obsession love for OU football. Every time they played, Mark and his dad were constantly calling each other after every play.
Mark told me later, when we were driving to the cemetery, that “Fall football would never be the same”..
While at the cemetery, while putting his urn in the bench, we all held hands and formed a circle and just stood there while Marks mom said “It just isn’t fair.” They had just recently retired (Marks dad was only 63) and bought a camper and wanted to travel the country.
He only made one trip.
I can tell you that I hate cancer. I hate what it does to families. I hate what it takes. I hate that it creeps in without you knowing and knocks you off your feet.
But It can not steal the one thing that holds us close to our Savior’s heart.
It cannot remove our names from that book.
Conquerors will march in the victory parade, their names indelible in the Book of Life. I’ll lead them up and present them by name to my Father and his Angels.
-Revelation 3:5 (The Message)
Oh Heather! I follow you on Facebook and don’t know how I missed this
My prayers are with ya’ll and Mark’s family.
Lisa B @ simply Hiss last blog post..Then the tears fell
Girl, I am SO sorry. Yes, we’ve done the cancer deal at my house — well, not personally like you have, but my dad has fought and won. My mother-in-law fought and lost. In the words of my dad, “Cancer sucks.” But no one comes out the other side unchanged. Aren’t we thankful our hope is not of this messed up world?
I wrote about the community that battles cancer here:
http://sarahstirman.blogspot.com/2007/07/community-at-md-anderson-vs-beast.html
Sarah S.s last blog post..Happy New Week!
Heather,
I am sorry to hear about the passing of your FIL. Prayers going out to you and your family!
“It cannot remove our names from that book.” AMEN!!! That is the one thing along with our peace that the enemy can never take from us!
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Hugs and prayers for all the family.
JanMary, N Irelands last blog post..My Shell Seekers
I am so sorry to read this Heather. Your family is in my prayers and especially Marks heart. Asking God to gently bring you all through this sad time.
Love and Hugs, Laurie :heart:
We lost my husband’s father to colon cancer 10 years ago this past weekend. Fortunately, his mom was in a very good mood yesterday when we were at her house. Just never know how she’ll be.
Praying for all of you.
Dianne
Diannes last blog post..Zero Miles Per Hour
Heather
I am sorry for your family’s loss. There are no perfect words to give. We have the perfect love of Jesus and cling to that. What would we do without His promise of eternity?
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Heather & Mark
God loves you guys. My heart goes out to you and your family. Thank you for the reminder that no matter what happens to our earthly shells, we belong to Jesus.
Bobs last blog post..Chosen Moments
it’s so much harder on those of us left behind
My Dad died from Bone Cancer in Jan 1999, I can’t believe it’s been 10 years, I still miss him, but know I will see him again when I die.
I don’t know HOW people can go on without the hope of eternal life through Christ our Saviour – really … it made the ‘life celebration’ service we had for my Dad (who was saved late in his life) actually a joyful, despite tears time.
How did Easton do?
I am so sorry for your family’s loss.
I know what you mean, I hate cancer too. Almost everyone in my family who has passed away has because of cancer.
Praying for you all.
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Sorry to hear about your FIL,Dad and Grandpa.
Crying with you…truly.
Praying and sending love to all of you.
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My eyes are all teared up and my heart strings are pulled, my head is throbbing while I hold in these feelings as I read your blog.
I’ve just found that one of dearest Blogger friends has found his cancer returned; another is watching her mother battle it, once again…
You know, Heather…I use to be afraid of many things…cancer included and as I’ve given more and more of my fears over to Jesus, I’ve found a numbness to the names of the words that use to fear me. I think you understand, don’t you?
HE IS our STRENGTH – HE REMAINS our ROCK – HE LOVES us ETERNALLY – and because of Him, WE LIVE ♥
Simply Heathers last blog post..My Friend, If I Could…
I hate the C too, Heather. My mother had lung cancer. I am so sorry about your loss. Praying God will comfort you all ~
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May God bless your family with peace and rest.
Wow! I’m so very sorry!
Tinas last blog post..Where do you find rest for your soul?
Sorry to hear about your FILO. It is hard. Too hard. We lost my dad in just under 3 months from diagnosis. It sucks.
Praying for all o you, and knowing that God holds you in the palm of His hands.
Isn’t that a wonderful thought?
Love you, sweet friend
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: .
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Heather, I’m very sorry to learn of your father-in-law’s passing. I know how hard this is under any circumstances, but especially when you’re battling cancer yourself. But you are so right that cancer cannot remove our names from the Book of Life! That is our hope and our joy. Cancer will not win in the life of any person whose hope is in Him. I hold onto that truth everyday. God bless you and comfort your family in your time of loss.
Hugs,
Loretta in GA
I’m so sorry about your father-in-law.
Amandas last blog post..Home Away from Home-Coming
My heart goes out to your family, I’m sorry for your loss.
I don’t follow you on facebook…I do follow your blog, your twittering and “met” you on AWI.
I love how you said that cancer can’t steal our names out of the Book. Never thought of it that way before. You have such a great perspective on it – thank you for helping me to see things differently. I’m glad you were able to go to OK as a family.
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I am so sorry to hear about your father-in-law. I just hate when people have to go through things that bring such heartache. I will be praying for your family and your mother-in-law.
i’m sorry – hold onto His faithfulness..
lamentations 3:22-24
you are in my heart….and prayers.
lynn
I am in the “living with cancer” stage as a mom of four little ones and I wanted to let you know that this post really spoke to my heart. I linked to you from my blog today and used the song in my post as well. Thanks for the bravery and time commitment to make yourself transparent on the WWW for the encouragement of all of us. You are a warrior for Christ and I am so thankful to be blessed frequently through your words here on this blog.
Genevieve
Genevieve Thuls last blog post..Living {not dying, not healed from} cancer
Heather I am just seeing this but wanted to share my sympathies with you and Mark. I am praying for you all.
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Somehow I missed this post. I am sorry. I also hate the C word. I ahve many that have won the battle in my family, but even more that have lost. Praying as football starts.
Much Love
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