A letter to the donor family

8 years ago my daughter recieved the gift of life. This is the letter I wrote and sent to the transplant coordinator 3 years after her transplant. Sadly, I have never heard from the donor family, yet I know that her donor was an infant girl. I picture her being named Hope, because that is what she provided for my family.

Hope for a future for our daughter.

Sitting Pretty

Dear Donor Family,
As I sit here, many years after the date my daughter received your loved ones heart, I often wonder how your family is doing.

I sometimes get lost in the thought of meeting you, assuming that you would be just as eager to meet us. But lately I have thought about how hard it must be for you, knowing that your precious child is gone. On the day we celebrate our daughters new beginning, you are grieving the last day of your child’s life. I am trying to understand how terribly hard it must be for you to receive this letter from us, full of joy and thanks, knowing that it was the death of your child triggering that joy. I cant imagine how that must feel.

The little girl, who’s life was saved, is such an amazing little being. She is so full of joy and imagination. I wonder if you would see your precious child in her. She loves french fries and lollipops, cant get enough of barney, and sucks her thumb while sticking her finger up her nose.

Most of all, she loves life. She lives every day to the fullest and brings our family such joy. I am so very sorry for your loss. I am sorry that your little ones death was the beginning of my Emma’s life. I hope that, if someday you somehow read this, you know how very much your gift is appreciated.

I often think of you in the quiet times, holding her, rocking her. How your arms must ache for your precious child.

How do you thank the family who’s child’s death brought your child life? How do you express your gratitude, without it seeming as if you are glad the opportunity of death came so your child could live on?

I may never know the answer to that question, and I may never have the opportunity to properly express my feelings to you. But my heart hurts for you, respects you, and is grateful to you. Your child’s death was not meaningless, and it will never be taken for granted, because in your darkest hour, you thought of someone elses child.. Mine.

Emma’s Mom


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  1. What a beautiful and thoughtful letter! The gift of life is so precious and special. You have shown that you do not take it for granted and consider it a HUGE blessing. Thank you for sharing!
    .-= Laurie´s last blog ..A Spooky CI Moment… =-.

  2. What a beautiful letter. My Mother in law was an organ donor. I would be honored to receive such a letter from the people who received the gift of sight from her.
    .-= Tara´s last blog ..An old story revisited =-.

  3. The name of your site caught my eye from Mom-Blog.com because of the name of it. I am glad that happened – what an amazing story you have to tell and what courage. And your kids sound great – they always seem to see the most clear.
    .-= Vanessa Infanzon´s last blog ..Perspective =-.

  4. Thank you for the tears streaming down my face so early in the morning- reminding me how truly precious life is! beautiful post, my friend!
    .-= Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last blog ..Multitasking Martinsburg =-.

  5. I cried pretty much through this entire letter. I tried to imagine what it would feel like, to be on the receiving end. Obviously that’s a feeling NONE of us want to imagine ever having to go through. But your last line was perfect, because at the worst time of their lives, this family realized that something good could come from their loss, and because of that, Emma was given a new lease on life.

    I’m sure the family appreciated your letter, even if they didn’t respond. Thank you for reminding us all that life is a gift and it can certainly be beautiful.
    .-= Chrissy´s last blog ..Movie Review Monday: Couples Retreat =-.

  6. What a letter! How touching!