Perfect People

“When nobody around you seems to measure up, it’s time to check your yardstick.” ~Bill Lemley

That quote has stuck with me since the first time I read it. I often have to check my yardstick because someone is failing me or not living up to my expectations/standards. And then I think about how many times I have tried to live up to someone else’s standards and failed miserably.

I remember when I first told you guys that I had brain cancer, the pressure was so intense to post positively. I felt that all eyes were on me and that if I failed {whether spiritually, emotionally, or health wise}, I was failing you. I have since come to acknowledge that being “perfect” in my pain is not what is expected of me, in fact most of you have often said that you come here because I speak of how hard my life is amidst the joy. It has been a long road coming to terms with the fact that I dont always have to be “on”.

At She Speaks I pulled my sweet friend The Nester aside and literally cried a bucket of tears. I couldnt tell her why I was crying, I just sobbed. When I could muster the words I explained that I have felt so much pressure on me to upbeat and positive and that I am not always that way. I often {more times than not} have a sour attitude about my circumstances. Don’t get me wrong, I still find joy in these hardships but it doesn’t make those hardships any less, well… hard. I will never forget what she told me…”Heather, We love you because you are real in your pain.”

Real in my pain. That took my breath away.

I have come to realize in my 34 years of life that there no perfect people. There are no perfect lives. There are only shadows of grace in a fallen world, and if we search hard enough… we might just able to sit in that shade for awhile and rest.

My world has been so much easier since I took off my masks. I still have moments of complete and utter frustration at what my life has handed me.

But then I look deep into those shadows and see a perfect Gods grace… And all is well in my little imperfect world.

{This post was made after listening to Natalie Grants “Perfect People”.
You can listen to the song here}

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  1. This was so beautifully and honestly written. I appreciate your “realness” in your situation and the way that you portray that here.

  2. What a great post! I am so glad that you know you can be vulnerable. No one is perfect, and when you try to be someone you’re not it takes more energy than being real. What matters, is that through it all, you’ve given God the glory. :)

  3. Heather thank you for being real. It’s those people who are real that do the most for the Kingdom…make the biggest impact on other’s lives…and help the rest of us feel like we’re not alone in our reality that’s not quite what we dreamed it would be.

  4. That is one of the reasons I love and admire you- your transparency! You are right- the hard is just hard and that is okay. Thanks for sharing your heart!

  5. Beautiful post, Heather.

  6. I’ve never heard that quote before, but it would have served me well over the years.

  7. I have to check my yardstick ALL. The. TIME! I appreciate your honesty, Heather, and I’m thankful to be getting to know you, imperfections and all.

  8. Great post. I love Natalie’s song. I had to listen to the words a bit closer today after reading your post.

  9. I love this song! I belt it out with my kids (5 & 6). As a perfectionist, I’m trying to help my kids not become one themselves. It can be more like a curse. Thanks for being real.

  10. The link isn’t working for me, so I can’t hear the song. But I wanted to say that when you realize that people aren’t perfect and unfortunately sometimes they’re going to let you down, it’s as though a weight is lifted. I’m glad you’ve experienced that! :)

  11. Yep. Needed this too. You’re nailing it this week for me, sister. *sigh* I wish it wasn’t the case, but you are speaking directly to me!

  12. Oh this is beautiful and true. I try to remember that if we were perfect, we would already be home! God’s not through with us yet!

  13. I must remove my shoes, for I am standing on holy ground.

    This is one of the best posts I’ve ever read anywhere. Really. For me, today, I needed to read this post about as badly as I’ve ever needed to read anything. I think God sent me here, and I thank you for being faithful to him in your posting so that these words were here for me.

    Thank you.

  14. I came her via headless mom’s google share and had to tell you I loved this post.
    I lost a baby to SIDS in 2003 and the shame of “not handling it well” has been extremely difficult. (I’ve been pretty freaking bitter and hit bottom VERY hard). My catch phrase is, “I didn’t handle it well”.

    I loved this.

    Thank you for writing it.

  15. I read the stories of your daughter’s illness and of your cancer…and then I read your posts filled with hope and courage, praise and grace. And I am amazed…and humbled. May He hide you in the shadow of His wings.

  16. You are even more beautiful without your mask!
    May Blessings and truth be yours…

  17. I think what people always love most in others is authenticity. Being real is so much better than being perfect.