courage unwrapped

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” – John Wayne

When I first was diagnosed with brain cancer, the first few days took courage to breathe. I ate, slept, dreamed and pee’d cancer. I was terrified, and at the same time I was at peace. {like those two even remotely go together!} I remember waking up every day and shouting internally “One more day!” You see things clearer and with more passion. You live life with such anticipation of the next moment.

You truly live with courage.

The newness of the diagnosis has worn off, and my daily routine has gone back to pretty much normal. I have regained my speech. I am homeschooling my children. I can cook a meal and not burn the house down!  Yet, in the quiet moments of the day, I stop and think about those days when the diagnosis was still fresh and I long to see life through cancers eyes again. It was so very vivid and awakening.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience you face in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

I long to have that kind of courage back. The “If I can tackle cancer, I can tackle anything” mindset that followed the diagnosis. I have slowly lost it along the way.

So today, I look for that courage as I unwrap the mundane issues that my life now entails; because if I can tackle cancer- I can tackle the world. {With Gods help, of course!}

What do you need help unwrapping today?

{“Courage Unwrapped” is part of  “Unwrapping Tuesdays” at chatting at the sky }

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Comments

  1. This is so true! After my embolism last year, I have written and prayed a lot about not losing that same courage, to be and do what God has for me. We are still here for a reason- and the courage to remember that in the mundane may be the hardest part! Great post!

  2. Thank you for sharing your courage. It takes a lot of courage sometimes for the little things, to say nothing of the big things! Each test us in their own way, and I’ve really come to see lately that we are not given more than we can handle… even though it feels like it sometimes! You still have that courage… it’s in you, waiting until you really need it. =)

  3. Several years ago I went through myriads of testing because I was having chest pain and the doctor was concerned for my heart. I remember at the time I was paying so much more attention to every detail of my life in case I was given difficult news. Turned out the whole mess was caused by an underachieving thyroid. While I certainly cannot say I’ve experienced the clarity or courage you discuss in this blog, I think I can understand a small part. Life does become mundane once again even after a catastrophic announcement. Perhaps it’s up to each individual to find that courage (with God’s help) even in the every day.

  4. Aw, hon. Of course He is to be our first and best source of strength, but you also have so many who love you, from whose love you can draw strength. Maybe you just need to be reminded of that love from time to time. This time of year I take courage from the trees, who are losing all of their beautiful leaves and face a long, hard winter. But they also have the promise of new life and new leaves waiting inside. Don’t lose heart. :)

  5. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about living with courage and being filled with joy at the thought of “one more day!” instead of the drudgery of “ugh, time to make the donuts..”. I needed to hear this!

  6. I feel the same about my salvation. I was so hungry to learn, to read my Bible, to pray and have quiet time. Nothing else really mattered. Now, years later I’ve seem to have lost a little of that passion. I have my ups and downs with it, but I think I’m on my way up now :)

  7. I think you have all the courage in the world to continue on living life “normally”. Each daily task completed is an effort in courage. I’m amazed.

  8. Beautifully said, and boy do I understand! I’m feeling pretty courageous right now in my circumstances (only by the Lord’s grace!) I hope it’s a feeling that doesn’t leave!

  9. Isn’t it wonderful to know that it’s through Christ that we gain strength and courage? Praying for you today!!

  10. Heather,

    Thanks so much for visiting over at my place today. I’ve been reading over your stories for the past hour or so and I am amazed by your attitude, perspective, and by what God has done in your life through the most difficult circumstances I can imagine. And the hair? I wouldn’t stress too much about that-you certainly don’t need it to be absolutely gorgeous!!

  11. Every day, a precious gift.

  12. What a awesome blog! Great to meet you.
    Cat

  13. I have read your blogs before and have found encouragement in your words. My mother-in-law is batteling cancer and she is an amazing woman who adores the Lord and has served Him fervently. Today started off with the news that she was on her way to the ER with difficulty breathing and I couldn’t help but to cry out ” Where are you Lord in this.” That’s when I went to Google and typed in God in Cancer and got a link to your blog on Oct. 28 2007 titled When God and Cancer Meet. I don’t believe it was a coincendence that you wrote that exactly 2 years ago today. I thank you for being obedient to your calling and for the reminder that God is in Control and has plans to use this illness for His Good and we are vessels for His Glory!

  14. Hi Heather,
    I am a cancer survivor as well and completely understand this post. When I was fighting cancer I felt so strong and tough and at the same time so scared and afraid. I know that strength only came from God and it took me being weak for it to come through. I was so sick after my surgeries and during chemo that the only thing I could do was pray. I was so close to God and so at peace with life which seems ironic because all the medical staff liked to inform me that the odds were stacked against me. I would always reply that I don’t believe in statistics – I believe in God and my God is bigger than any numbers. Now that I’m done with chemo and in clinical remission I’ve gone back to life as normal. I’m caught up in the busyness of life. I really miss that closeness that I once had. I wish I could get that back (minus the cancer of course!). I’m trying but I’m struggling. I usually try to avoid reading blogs that involve cancer because I become too emotionally involved. Your blog is so amazing though that I had to keep reading through it and will continue to. God has blessed you with the gift of writing and you are using it to glorify Him. Thank you for sharing your experiences to encourage others.

    Kristi Rogalske
    a cancer surviving blogger from dreary, rainy Michigan :)

  15. Imajackson says:

    Heather, will you please e-mail me at my above e-mail address? I have a private message for you but I can’t find a listing for your contact info anywhere on your blog. I just don’t think my message is for the great wide world. Thanks! -Imajackson

  16. I haven’t been reading blogs much, but I’m glad to read you’re still doing well. This was a really meaningful post. Bless you.

  17. You go, girl!

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