the truth about life before they believe the cultures lies.
Easton and I have been discussing pretty deep issues as of late. Sex, dating, guys, etc. I have to tell you that it was a little uneasy for me at first because the fact that she is growing up really has taken me by surprise! She is no longer a little girl.
I try to emphasize that sex is a beautiful thing, and is well worth the wait. It is not enough in this day and age to tell them not to do it because “God says not too.” The world is telling them that it is a totally acceptable thing at any age. She is bombarded with images of half clad teenagers {especially here in Florida}. We talk about what being virtuous means. We talk about what “reputation” she wants to have. We talk about what she sees other girls doing at her age, and whether or not it is appropriate.
We talk.
It has been hard. It has been awkward. But it has been well worth every moment of conversation that we have stumbled through. I am so very proud of my daughter for knowing why it is important to wait for marriage. We haven’t just told her “sex is bad”, because it is not. It is a beautiful thing when done between married couples. We have tried to instill those thoughts into her heart, and all of our conversations are paying off.
I know that she will make mistakes. I did. But the important thing is that she knows that she can come to me with those hard questions, and I know that she is not just learning from society what is and is not appropriate.
She understands that she is more than the sum of her parts; She is so very much more than “pretty packaging”.
And she knows that she is worth waiting for….
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Raising a teenager in today’s world can be SO hard! Your right…they are constantly bombarded by so many images. The temptation is to put them in a cocoon or shelter them. So much better to talk to them…openly and honestly…about the things of the world and the things of God. As the mother of two older teenage daughters it has been a challenge to let them go into the world on their own. Make some tough decisions. I was so proud when one of my girls came to me and said “My boyfriend was being a little pushy about sex…so I told him we should stop seeing each other if he can’t respect my decision to wait.” Praise God! Your girl has a firm foundation in Christ and a mother she can talk to about the tough stuff. I have a feeling she is going to do just fine.
This is tough stuff. I’m starting down that road with my girl (11). Praise Jesus that you & Easton have a wonderful relationship & you can share your testimony with her. Kudos to you & your husband for showing her that her true value is in Christ!
This is the exact approach we have taught our 3 girls (currently 18, 13 & 12 ) … and another one we emphasize is “Boys/Men will treat you the way you treat/portray yourself” … If you are ‘easy’ they will treat you that way and ‘go for it’ in a heartbeat, if you treat yourself with value and respect, the treasure that you are (in God’s eyes) then you will be treated with respect, as valuable and a treasure.
I am still amazed everyday that God thought I could handle 4 kids, He has way more confidence in me that I have in myself!!
She’s beautiful!!!
I have 7 yrold & 2yrold girls…not really looking forward to discussing this with them, lol, but am praying for wisdom and knowledge in speaking the right words. I, too, want them to know that it’s not BAD, just well worth the wait.
Thanks for the encouragement!
My daughter is 19 now (holy cow!) and she willingly took the ‘purity pledge’ when she was about 12. Still wears her ring and can articulate why it’s important from many different angles.
Clothing? Get this….remember when hip hugger jeans, thong underwear showing, and short, tight-fitting shirts were ‘in’? She was around 12 and wanted to wear that-because the other girls were. I sat down with her and explained what that image showed to boys/men. Her dad joined us and talked about it from a man’s perspective. I talked about what ‘those girls’ had to look forward to (heart break, pregnancies, etc.) and at the time I wasn’t sure that it had sunk in. Our rule was: no underwear showing, follow all school rules (they were strict enough.) Anyway, it wasn’t easy, but imagine my joy when a few years later when she came home from high school telling us how grateful she was that we had told her the truth about all of that-some of ‘those girls’ were now pregnant, getting abortions, and known for being sl*ts.
It may take a few years, Mama, but she’ll get it, and be thankful that you were there all along the way to help and guide her.
Easton is a beautiful young girl and she is so blessed to have a mama like you!
Talking to our kids about these things are difficult but so necessary. They have to know the truth and yes, sex is an amazing experience between a husband and wife. They have to know that as well. I can only hope and pray that my boys meet and marry a wonderful girl like Easton. There seem to be so few of them these days.
love you!
She is just so beautiful. You’ve got that working against you!
Good luck during this time. My only child is a boy, so handling this stuff was a little different with him. There are so many things I wish I could do over. Just be clear and firm and open with her – that’s the best advice I can give you… although I realize you didn’t ask for advice. You’ll get through it, and you’ll be closer to her because of it. I just know it.
It is so good to see that y’all are talking about this now. It is so important for kids to know that sex is a beautiful thing, but that it is meant for marriage, and it is so obvious why when you look at our fallen world. I pray for Easton to continue to be open to talking to you, and that she knows that she is worth waiting for!
You are doing an amazing job as a mother. I believe the LORD is proud of those who make the effort to talk with their children and work with them on understanding what he would want for them. Easton is blessed to have you as her Mom.
Very encouraging. It’s nice to know we are not the only ones who try to explain to our daughter that sex is not bad, but its made to wait for marriage. I pray I am also instilling in my daughter how much she’s worth waiting for. I always wonder if I’m doing a good enough job. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject.
JoAnn
This is so good! I hope and pray by the time our little one is old enough, we’re able to talk to her frankly about God’s plan for sex! Thanks for the post!
What a blessing that she can talk to you.
I think that you are doing a great thing for your daughter. My children (20 years and 16 years) have always been able to discuss these thing because I have always been open and honest with them. I found with my son he always wanted to talk in the car. I think it was because he knew I couldn’t look at him that much. My daughter wanted to talk while we were crafting. LIke you I always wanted them to know that sex is something that is special enough to wait for. I think though it is harder to get girls to understand that they are worthy and that they don’t have to date just because the world says they are suppose to. I thank God that our youth group is so good to plan a lot of group things that the kids can do that do not impose any pairing up-alone time.
Lovely convo. My girl is ten going on 30. She gets rather emotional when we speak about personal stuff but it’s important and much needed. I think as long as we instill great values in our children they will turn out beautifully no matter what mistakes we all make. We’re human. We live and learn. I was looking to find what part of Fl your located in. We’re in SW FL. It’s always nice meeting new moms. Enjoying the blog. Muah
BTW….I’m now following:)
Tori
It’s nice if every parent could do this to their children. Truly, before the world around them confuses them or bring them to the wrong side. My parents didn’t discuss why premarital s*x is bad maybe because they felt awkward to go into details. We were just told they weren’t for it and we shouldn’t do it. In the society where we grow, PMS is an act to be avoided and if you commit such an act, it is akin to committing a crime.
Discussion could have been better but we understood along the way.
..beautiful post…