These past few weeks I have been just trying to stay afloat. My mind has been traveling to places it shouldn’t, and I have had a hard time with the how’s and why’s. I have found myself fearful of the next MRI (Dec. 9th) and I really don’t know why. I know in my heart that He is already there and he knows the outcome…. it is just hard not having that control.
I hear these words over and over in my heart: “Be still and know”…. but my mind wont stay still long enough to let what I know sink in.
So, if you would, say a prayer for me. Pray that I would have peace that passes all understanding and that satan would have no control over my thoughts. Pray that I would go in confidence to my Dec 9th MRI, and that His will would be done- not mine.
That is really hard for me to type… His will, not mine.
For someone who has to be in control of everything… having no control over this is really hard.
Brutally Hard.
“True courage is not the absence of fear – but the willingness to proceed in spite of it.”
-Author Unknown
Edited to add: When I came home today, my daughter told me to read her blog. She makes me so very proud. I didn’t realize that this was her biggest fear… My family is the reason I fight so hard, I love each an every one of them more than words can say. Now go read her post: Picks Of Hope
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Have prayed and will continue to pray. Love ya!!
Praying for you Heather. Praying peace.
Heather,
I consider it a priviledge to lift you up before the throne of grace in your time of need!
Love and hugs,
Connie
Praying for you Heather. Asking God to wrap you in peace
love and prayers in a uneasy time…
Praying, Heather.
Mary
Heather I will be praying. I want to leave this verse for you to ponder. “You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” John 14:14. This verse was one of many that gave me comfort during the time my youngest daughter was in the NICU after she was born 12 weeks early. I wrote a note in my Bible that says, “It will always be what God wants it to be.” Eight years and nine months later that little baby girl has grown to be a tall sweet 3rd grader. He is definetely in control.
It’s perfectly natural to feel some anxiety as the date for your next MRI approaches; because of the “unknown”. You know that God knows, but that doesn’t mean everything’s easy. I will prayer for peace and trust for you. I know God has given me peace at the oddest times in the midst of a difficult struggle with depression the past few months. You’re all too aware that God does allow trials; but you also know that He will bring you through, whatever the results are this time. He’ll provide whatever is needed, at the time it is needed. Blessings to you!
Be still and know…that He is God…that we are praying…that you are strong enough to handle whatever happens….that every moment is precious!
Love and blessings
I will keep praying for you and your family. I know how scary waiting for an MRI can be. God bless you and yours.
I am with you on this Heather. I have found that surrendering is an on-going thing for me. We have devastating health problems in our family too, and every time “check-up time” rolls around I find myself in the very place you are standing.
Please know I am praying for you – for that peace that passes understanding; for every thought taken captive to Jesus; for the sweet sense of His love and presence in your life. All will be well.
Heather, I’m praying for you every day. I have had recurrant thoughts lately about you, even though we have never met. I felt compelled to write you several weeks ago about information I have gathered that might be very helpful to you health wise. I never heard back and I assumed either you saw it and thought I was a flake and couldn’t possibly offer anything your wonderful doctors haven’t thought of already, or you entirely missed the comment. I know you are very afraid. You know the story where a man is in a flood and he prays to God for help? Well many people come by with boats offering help. He turns all thier help down. As he is about to drown he asks God why he forsake him. God answers that he had many people come by with boats to save him and that he turned them away. I have saved the material in a folder in case you decide to respond sometime. I’m leaving my number again 641-427-5427. Also feel free to e-mail me. People do survive this. I know you are afraid. I know you know the odds. I hope I’m not being too pushy or offending you, but I am sending the offer of a lifeboat. We”ll see if God decides to keep the waters still. In prayer, Mary E.
I’ll pray for you to control your feelings of having to be in control, Heather. Just let it go and choose to be at peace as you walk in for your MRI on December 9.
Praying for God’s perfect peace for you, Heather. I will be thinking of you on the 9th. That’s a chemo day for me, so I will have plenty of time to pray for you while I am getting treatment.
Dear Heather,
I have and will continue to pray for you, especially for this upcoming MRI on the 9th. I think it’s pretty darn normal to feel apprehensive about something like this. But when it gets overwhelming to the point of paralyzing fear, it’s a problem. God knows your sweet heart Heather, your fears and your hopes. He is there now and will be there in that obnoxoius MRI tube on the 9th (: I’m praying for you to be calm and peaceful and for wonderful news! Keep your chin up! Best wishes.
Molly (:
Heather,
I stumbled upon your blog one day while reading someone elses…..I am so thankful that I did. I have such a burden for you and have been praying for you. I will definitely be praying for you as dec.9th approaches. I want you to know that I can so relate to you wanting to be in control……that is a HUGE struggle for me. These past 2 years God has taught me much regarding His sovereignty and my need to surrender my will to Him and his perfect plan. My dad is only 60 years old and is in the final stages of Alzheimers…we were forced to put him in a nursing home 2 years ago because he required the type of care that only a skilled nursing facility could give him.. Since that time, I have “wrestled” with God many times, asking him to take this disease away from my dad and to give my dad back to me….I have been tempted to be angry with God, angry with my family, etc., but God, in his sweet kindness, has shown me that His ways are perfect, and that even when we are struggling or are in pain, He is still sovereign and in control. watching my dad slip away from us has been painful, but I will always be thankful to God for the ways He has grown me through this.
I want you to know that I think you are an amazing woman, and reading your blog, the window to your heart, spurs me on to want to be more like Him and to want to be surrendered to him in every area of my life…especially in the area of control. I’m sorry for rambling on and on…..know that i will be praying for you and your sweet family.
In Him,
~patty r.
Praying for you here too.
I know this is a few days late, but I’m still praying for you.