Tomorrow is my quarterly MRI, Labs and Clinic visit. The fact is this visit is no different than the previous visits regarding protocol, yet it is very different emotionally for me. I always get anxious before, and I always can talk myself down. But this time all I can think about is what the neurosurgeon said to me and my husband right after surgery..
3-5 years.
I am coming up on my expiration date according to the statistics.
Yes, I know that statistics are only numbers based on the average. I have written about this many times, I know in my head that I am not a statistic….
But this time I need to feel it in my heart. This is one of those times that I wish I would have been able to speak when we received the prognosis… I would stopped him before he had time to finish.
I didn’t want to know.
I keep refreshing my mind on scripture and praying like never before … but the fact is I can’t foresee the future. I can’t wish the news away if it is bad. All I can do is pray for the Lords will to be done and rest on His promise that He will hold me through it when the time comes….
Whether that be tomorrow or 89 years from now.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” – Isaiah 43:1b
No matter what… I am His…
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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, Heather. Wow. I am pausing to pray for you right now. Huge, Texas-sized hugs, precious sister.
Praying for you and your family at this time.
Your in my prayers. I pray the Comforter comfort you in the way only He can and that you have peace that passes all understanding. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace … Romans 15:13 He is glorified in your life Heather!
Praying for you Heather. Hugs!
You are in my prayers. I think you’re gonna do just fine tomorrow, but just to be sure, I’ll be sending lots of prayers up! Big hugs, Heather!
Praying for your faith to be renewed and you heart to be comforted.
God will provide. regardless.
Oh Heather,
Of course those things are on your mind. But you are 100% right that the Lord will give you the strength to deal with whatever the results are. I am praying for positive results and for total calmness on your end (: Statistics are as you said, an average. I know of several children who have been diagnosed with a form of brain cancer that is heartbreaking with a poor, poor prognosis and yet some of those very children are beating the odds. I wish I had better words to comfort you but just know that I’ve been praying for you since your diagnosis and I am still here praying.
Molly (:
Oh Heather – I understand. I know you are scared and I will be praying for you.
I completely understand what you are feeling. I was given that same statistic . . . 3-5 years. I’m coming up on year 3 now. Yesterday my doctor told me that the swollen lymph node in my neck needed to come out and that it was probably cancerous. I updated our blog and said it like it is – cancer sucks. This morning I woke up and read the comments from people that are holding me up when I can’t do it myself. I have a much more peaceful heart today (but cancer does still suck!). A friend of mine left me a message today saying that she has already prayed about my cancer and given it up to God so today she is praying for my mental health. I will be doing the same for you.
Hi Heather! I am praying for you, and carrying you in my heart-Starting Now. Amen.
love
reese
Praying for you.
Praying for you right this minute, Heather.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:4-7, ESV)
Praying that you will be able to rejoice in Him, no matter the outcome of your tests. Praying that you will not be anxious, but that His peace will rule over you.
I’m praying.
I can’t carry your fears away myself but I can carry you in prayer to the one that can. You and your family in my thoughts tomorrow and the days to come.
Lifting you up in prayer and believing God for the GOOD Report!
I hear you Heather. Oh do I hear you. I am praying for you, loving you and would love to get n the phone with you. Email me when you can and let’s see if we can find hole of time somewhere
Hugs, sweetness.
Praying for you, dear Heather ~ Hope you are feeling better.
Heather, you are in my prayers. I understand what you’re feeling–I have stage IV metastatic breast cancer and the stats say the median lifespan is 2-3 years from diagnosis of stage IV. I’m coming to the end of that first year now (five years, altogether, since my original stage II diagnosis). But I am NOT a statistic and I am doing much better now than my doctors ever expected, so while I still get nervous before each scan, I have peace that I am not going anywhere until the Lord says it’s my time. I don’t feel it’s my time yet.
Hold on to that wonderful faith of yours. May the Lord fill you with the peace that passes understanding.
Praying for you to know the peace in your heart that comes from the knowledge in your head. Praying with expectations that you will have good reports, but with confidence that no matter the report our God has not changed. ((hugs))
Hey Heather
I love it that you are praying that scripture…I have summoned you by name…dont you just LOVE that! I have scripture that I pray over each of my little ones and that is the verse for my sweet Caroline. Today I am praying it over you though!
Love to you…Amy
Ohhh, I just saw your twitter update! Yeah! I went to bed praying for you last night and woke up this morning praying as well. I’m so happy to hear the good news (: Heather, you just made my day! Enjoy the upcoming holidays with your sweet family.
Molly (:
Yay, Heather! Praise the Lord! Saw your tweet just now! I’m SO relieved for you and yours. I know how scary those checkups can be, believe me. Got one coming right after the holidays, and I’m surprised at how hard I’m having to work at not letting it ruin Christmas for me.
We seriously need to “meet” sometime. I’ve been following your story ever since we were both diagnosed back in 2007, and I think of you often, particularly when I’m struggling with all the head garbage. You know what I mean.
But today is a GOOD day!! HAPPYLUJAH! To repeat my cancer mantra for the 7,349th time: “God is good all the time, even when we don’t know what He’s doing with us.”
Now go have a magnificent Christmas, Heather!
Lynn
I’m late in coming over but I’m glad to have read the great news first before this…