My mom came up to the rehab center while we were there and brought Emma (and me) and plaque that stated “Good things will happen today.” I nonchalantly hung it on her window in her room at TGH and every once in a while I would read it in passing and smile and go on my way through the various therapies scheduled for that day.
Today, as a sit on my lanai, it hangs over the table. Every morning, when I come out and drink my coffee and have my quiet time, I see it. But today I really see it.
And I get it.
No matter what today entails, no matter what each moment holds- Good things will happen. Good things always happen amidst the bad. You would think by now, with all that I have gone through, I would have learned that. You would think that it wouldn’t take a plaque hanging on a lanai wall to get me to really get it. You would think that I would have mastered the art of looking for the positive in all situations by now.
But I haven’t.
And that is okay. It is okay for me to be angry at this situation. It is okay for me to mourn for the loss of a child, because that is what it is, the loss of the old Emma.
It doesn’t mean that I have lost hope. It doesn’t mean that I don’t marvel at the new things she is doing, or the good things the Lord is doing through her.
It simply means my mama heart misses the old Emma.
And that is okay.
But in that, I have lost sight of the “new Emma” and I don’t want to do that. I never want to do that. Because in doing that, I lose sight of all the miraculous and wonderful things that He is doing in her.
All of the “Good things” He has done.
So, amidst the pain and heartbreak that I have felt, I am looking towards the good. I am turning my face to Him and letting those words fall on me like rain…
Love your realness! Thanks for sharing so candidly. I’ve been praying for you and your family since you found out about your brain cancer several years back. I’ve never commented, but I’m always checking your blog and praying for you. I found out about you from a dear friend, Louise Ramsey. May God continue to let you see the blessings of each day….that’s something that I also have trouble seeing at times. You are loved!
You echo my experience so clearly: it has been a CHOICE to see the good, I still have to force myself to wake up and remember that “there will be good today” so that in the darkest days of life, I don’t lose out on the beautiful gifts God has wrapped specifically to light my way through the dark.
what a great post…seeing the new Emma in a new light…the light of Christ…blessings
It never ceases to amaze me that it’s the people going through the gut-wrentching things that comfort, and lift and bless on a large scale. Visiting your blog lifts me, nudges me toward my maker, and places peace smack dab in my heart.
Good things have already happened today thanks to you!
I needed to hear this today! I am going through the stuff and it’s a great reminder that GOOD things are and will continue to happen. Praying for your Emma!
You are finding your way honey. And you know that God is there in it all. Love every minute of every day with your family. That is all we can do.
I continue to pray for you and Emma. May the Lord continue to give you strenght and may each day be a better day.
Love this post! Thanks… I needed that!!
that’s wisdom- so already good things are happening today. You are blessed, so blessed
Thanks Heather. I struggle with the continual “positiveness” of people right now (well, for the last several months) as I struggle with the depression that tries to get it’s grip on my soul. The cheerfulness makes me want to pull my hair out and scream some rather unkind tings. But, I hold my tongue and move on.
I will re-read this and try to grasp it.
Thank you, sweetness. And know I am really happy for you guys, as things slowly progress upward.
You’re wearing Truth as your crown, dear one. This post is proof of that. Still praying and wishing I could be there to give you a big hug and buy you a cheese hamburger.