2 weeks 5 Days….

That is how long it has been since you received your perfect healing. It seems like an eternity and yet like a millisecond all at the same time.

Your face is etched into my soul, your eyes pierce my heart… your smell envelops my senses.

I cry at the oddest moments.. Riding in the car. Petting the dog.

In my sleep.

I long to see your face one more time, to hold your hand, to see your smile.

To hear you sing.

I miss you.

You were perfect, yet broken.

Now you are everything that we always prayed for you to be here on earth.

But that doesn’t make living without you any easier.

I want you back, which is a totally selfish thought on my part.

Because having you back would mean making you leave there… and I know you are whole there.

You are free there.

You are happy there.

And you being there makes heaven even more real to those of us down here who long to see you again.

You were dearly deeply emphatically loved, Emma Grace.

Love,
Mom

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Comments

  1. Beautifully said…hugs

  2. I don’t know how you do it. I don’t know how you go on. I don’t know how any mother does. But then, I guess there it is – right here in this post. She is whole and perfect and free where she is now. And you will see her one day. You are on my mind and in my heart.

  3. Yes. {silence, bowing head} I love you, Heather.

  4. Chrystal Parisian says:

    I really don’t know where you get your strength. My heart is broken for the pain you feel in your heart- one Mother to Another. Praying you find peace, thinking of you.

  5. Knowing your beautiful child is there helps make Heaven all the more tangible, at least it did for me. I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but Steven Curtis Chapman’s music about losing Maria really helped me. Praying for comfort for your family!

  6. Paige Szajnuk says:

    I’m so sad for you that Emma’s no longer with you. I’m so happy she’s whole and in heaven with our precious Savior. I’m praying for you, Heather, and for your entire family. Thank you for sharing . . . it puts things in perspective and allows us to know how to pray.

  7. Culpepper says:

    You and your sweet family are in my prayers.

  8. Caroline says:

    I admire your faith, stregnth, and courage. Blessings and Peace to you and your family! In Jesus Name!

  9. I’m praying for you and will continue to do so. I know the Lord is able to bring peace in the night, hope in the darkness, and wipe away the tears. Thinking of you.

  10. Thank you for sharing your heart with us, Heather. And for the reminder you keep you in our prayers.

  11. Sending love and hugs from Ireland. May the Lord hold you; may the Lord carry you; may the Lord take your hand and walk with you into tomorrow.
    David

  12. Heather, I was jsut thinking of you yesterday and wondering how you could even go on. But as Jo-Lynne said, it’s right here. She lives on in your hearts, and in all of ours, actually, who were touched by her life.

    Your family and you will remain in my thoughts & prayers.

  13. I can only imagine the pain you are going through. I know for me it’s hard to loose those we love and one day all the sickness, disease and suffering will be wiped away. I can’t wait for Him to take us home and wipe our tears away.
    “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words.” 1Thessalonians 4:16-18 NIV
    Come Lord Jesus, come!

  14. You came to my mind the other day. My heart hurts for your heart. I don’t know what else to say. Praying hard for you!

  15. Love you.

  16. Praying for you all. Thanking God for Emma’s wholeness knowing that one day you will dance together in the presence of Abba. Love & Hugs

  17. kelli@living in grace says:

    Heather- we continue to offer prayer support for you, Mark, Elijah and Easton constantly. We love you deeply and pray the pain you are feeling begins to subside soon. Hugs in unlimited amounts. Kelli

  18. My heart aches for you. Praying for you. :)

  19. Dee Dee Rauscher says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart. I’m sure it hurts to even come here and try to put words on paper. Beautifully expressed. And that beautiful child? I’m pretty sure she knew daily that she was loved. Praying.

  20. …still praying for you, and your’s.

    xo

  21. Paula Helton says:

    beautiflly spoken…praying for your comfort and healing.

  22. Thank you for this. You have put into words all the feelings of my heart when my own sweet girl went back to dance with Jesus.

    While the words bring back pain, the pain is as a refiner’s fire…thank you.

  23. Such a beautiful letter to Emma.

  24. still praying…for comfort, peace and wonderful memories. xoxo

  25. I admire your strength. Your ability to trust in God and have faith in his plans amazes me, and I just want a little bit of that to rub off on me.

    And the reunion you will have with your daughter someday? Priceless.

  26. Thank you for sharing. This is exactly how I am feeling. We lost our son who had special needs this past March. I want him back so desperately, but having him back means he has his disability back. I know he would say… “MOM… what were you thinking?!?!?!? I was good.”

  27. You have been in my prayers.

  28. Hugs and prayers.

    Thank you for sharing your loss and your love for your precious daughter.

  29. I’m here. I don’t know what to say or do but I am here thinking of you and praying for all of you.

    much love to you, my friend.

  30. Chris in Canada says:

    Sweet Heather. I truly don’t know what to type. My prayer for you is this though:

    “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way”
    2 Thes 3:16

    ….as only He can do.

  31. Hugs…..

    Mary

  32. It’s not selfish to want her back. It’s the most normal feeling after the shattering loss you’ve just experienced. Again, I am so sorry to hear of your family’s tragic loss. Even though we all know she’s in a better place, you still have every right to grieve and wish to hold her now. xoxo

  33. Heather – I don’t know what to say and even more lost on how to feel. I knew that this day may come but honestly never thought it would. I have always admired you and your families strength. Its been a long time since I’ve seen or talked with you but you all are always in my thoughts and prayers. – Teresa

  34. You are such an amazing mother. You have beautifully expressed things I could never find the words to say.
    Forever in my heart.
    Vida

  35. Jen in TX says:

    That was beautiful, Heather. Simply beautiful. Emma is blessed to have you as her mom.

  36. Samantha says:

    I’ve been thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. I check back here often to see if there’s an update. This one is beautiful.

    I’m praying for your family. I hope you know that there are many people out here who read your blog, whom you will probably never meet IRL, who care about you and are thinking of you right now.

  37. I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to you. Praying Jesus loves you deeply.

  38. Heather I am so sorry for your loss. (((HUGS))) I have three daughters in Heaven. Joy went home in 1989 at 5 months old, then Angel went home in 2004 (car accident) at 28 years old and last year Molly went home at 26 years old. Joy and Molly were born with bodies that were imperfect. Angel was perfectly healthy. I miss them every minute of every day. I long to see them, hold them and love them. It never gets easier and I never stop missing them. I anticipate with great joy the day that we will be together again! Praise God for He is the giver of ALL good things!! I thank God that He gave me my girls to spend eternity with! (((HUGS)))

  39. I am SO very sorry for your loss. May God comfort you and your family as you go through this difficult time. And know that you are being lifted up in prayer.
    Lisa <3

  40. I’ve been praying for Emma for years now. Years. Amazing that I found you here so long ago through a badge link with Emma’s beautiful face on it. Now, I pray for you, no longer needed to pray for your precious angel who received her hard-earned wings. I pray for you and your family that with each passing day, the beauty that Emma graced your lives with would continue to shine and thrive in your hearts. Your beautiful angel is truly that now and there is so much comfort in knowing she is healed and happy and safe in the arms of God Himself. Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might…put on all his armour and fight the good fight. Be blessed, George family. And may we all continue to be blessed by you!

  41. Your words jump off the page with emotion…beautifully said.
    There are no words I can really say, but I am thinking of you today, and will pray for you when before I sleep tonight.

    Love in Christ,
    Kim

  42. I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine that type of loss and pain. I’ll pray for you and your family.

  43. norma carroll says:

    A beautiful tribute……to a beautiful person…….from a beautiful person. God’s truth and light shines through each and every word. Thank you so much for sharing them with us.

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