As I sit in front of the fireplace far away from home, I am reminded that it is okay to just stop. I relish this time spent with myself, yet do not take it very often because of all of the “me” my life takes away. I think about last Christmas, when she was here. I remember now, her laugh and silly face instead of her tears and pain. My mind carries me back to that last Christmas day, when we were all together, one happy family. I remember the carefree spirit that I held, and the joy that my heart carried.
I miss her this Christmas season. I miss her laugh and silly face.
But I also am relieved in a strange way. I know that will sound horrible to some, but it is my truth. My mommy heart is relieved.
She is finally able to sit on Jesus’ knee and tell Him “Happy Birthday!” in her sweet yet high pitched voice. Oh how I long for the day to be able to see her again.
Yet, that longing is not as strong as it once was. When I look around and see my precious children, still here; still growing, still in need of me… I realize that although she was my world, she is not my entire world. I realize that I have an amazing calling as a mother and wife, it is just a bit different than in the past.
But is no less amazing.
So this chilly morning, while I sit in front of the fire far away from home, I am reminded of what a precious gift it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy;