I can only imagine…


I wrote this post back in August of 2006. Sitting here, reading it again, I can’t describe the feelings of joy mixed with heartbreak.  I so very much miss her little broken body.  But then I remember the words that I wrote in this post and realize that my life long prayer for my sweetly broken Emma Grace came true on April 22, 2011 & I cry happy tears.



When I first saw this video- It touched me deeply.

I sit here in tears watching it again. I often wonder what Emma will do when she sees the other side of those pearly gates. I often wonder how she will react to seeing our Savior. I imagine her running up to him, crawling up into his lap and saying “Daddy, Im Home!” I imagine her skipping down the streets of gold, running without hesitation. Talking without limitations. Singing without reservation. A body with no disabilities…. I cant tell you what that does for my soul.

I long for the day my daughter doesnt wave her hands in the air with no control. I long for the day that her mind has complete control over her body. I long for the day that she is truly healed- body spirit and mind. My heart cries for that daily.

While she is here, I will be her voice. I will be her comfort. I will be her protector. I gave her my word on the day she was born that I would do everything in my power to make sure her life was a life of quality, hope and most of all love. I promised to love her unconditioanlly, despite the pain this journey would be for our family. I looked into her baby blue eyes, and gave her my word. I will make good on that promise as long as there is breath in me.

I may never see the moment Emma is healed, it may not happen on this side of heaven- But I can only imagine what a celebration it will be, the day Christ heals my child- either here on earth, or on the other side of those gates! Until that day comes, I will praise Him for His promise to her.

Then His light will break out like the dawn,
And Her recovery will speedily spring forth;
And His righteousness will go before her;
The glory of the LORD will be Her rear guard.

Isaiah 58:8

Italics added by me

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  1. Mary Bjoraker says:

    How lovely! You said it all. Bless your heart, I know you miss her. I am sure she is having a wonderful time with the Lord. When our time comes I hope to meet lovely Emma in Heaven!

  2. Thinking of Emma, You, and all of us.

    Love you dearly


  3. I pray for you and your family. Some day God will fill the hole in your heart with joy. It just takes time and trust in God’s plan.

  4. Lovely, Heather. Thank you. It’s nice to see you out here, to read a memory post. And this is such a sweet one. Blessings to you as you continue to both mourn and celebrate.

  5. Every time I hear this song it brings tears of great joy and comfort to my heart when I think of seeing the Lord and my loved ones waiting together to greet me on that wonderful home coming day. I can’t help but to sing out loud praises to our Lord. What a day of rejoicing that will be! I know the Lord is near the broken hearted and I pray you feel His nearness too.

  6. Beautiful..

    God bless you and your family Heather.

  7. Praying for comfort for you!

  8. Stumbled upon your lovely page. Beautiful motto and words. Love to your wee ones

  9. Praying and thinking of you this April. God bless you and your family.

  10. Heather- I had lost touch with you – and when I was looking through an old folder- I found the address to your blog- Am so happy I did case I had been thinking of you lately. 12/13 I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer- it was a big shock to us all. The Dr had thought that I had adeomyosis – and after the hysterectomy – found cancer. Grade 3 cells. Well I just finished 6 rounds of taxol/carbo chemo treatments. Anyway I am just wondering how you are doing? I noticed you have not posted in quite a while. I hope you are doing good and that you will post something to let us know how you are doing. I know you have been through so very much. I hope that you are happy and healthy. God bless~ Lisa :O)

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