Lately I have been fixated on the book of Ecclesiastes. Every time I open my bible I am drawn to it. Maybe it is the season of life I am in, maybe there is a valuable lesson the Lord is trying to teach me. As I have been studying, reading, praying and digesting what the Lord is saying, I have noticed a common theme:
I know in my heart what that means but am I really truly living it daily. Am I living my life with eternity in mind, or am I living without noticing how my actions influence others for eternity. Am I genuinely thankful for ALL that the Lord has provided. Good, bad, ugly.
There has been a lot of ugly in my life, more than I could have ever imagined. I often times think about that, what it would be like if I hadn’t had brain cancer, if Emma hadn’t died. I ponder on the “why’s” and “what if’s” and “how comes”.
What if my life had been “normal.” Whatever that means…
But then I stop myself and think of all that I would have lost if those things hadn’t entered my life. All of the valuable lessons, unlearned. All of the blessings that came from tragedy. All of the people that our story has ministered to.
Recently, I have had this huge burden to regroup, reset. I am learning that I truly have no idea what that looks like, feels like or even resembles. I do, however know that it entails eternal perspective on my part. I realize that I have to be intentional and proactive. I have to step outside of my comfort zone, outside of my fear and inhibitions.
I have to accept change. That word should be easy for me by now.
Change is good. Hard, yet good. Change means old things are left behind and new things are coming. It means that all I have to know is that He is the God of all seasons. Winter, Summer and Spring. He will provide for my every need. I only have to trust.
That is hard for me too, trusting.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to search and a time to give up,
A time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
A time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
A time for war and a time for peace.
He has made everything beautiful in it’s time. He has set eternity in the human heart ~Ecclesiastes 3:1-14
And there it is. Eternal perspective. He has set eternal perspective into the hearts of those He cherishes. All we have to to do is be patient and trust that He is faithful to complete His promises to us. I have learned many valuable lessons in my life, but this one keeps coming back full force. I am continually relearning and readjusting. His faithfulness in my times of need overwhelm me, yet I continually doubt His perfect love for me.
He is good, all the time. Through the good, bad & ugly. He is still good.