I am a mother of preemie triplets (31 weekers) who spent 8.5 weeks on bedrest prior to their delivery. I had a severe cardiomyopathy following their birth. I can totally relate to the feelings of sitting in the perinatoligists office watching his face as he examined my children.

I cannot fathom the emotions you and your family have encountered on this journey. My niece had open heart surgery at 2 weeks old for a congenital heart defect–what a scary time…and you have had so many scares.

May the Lord richly bless you for your incredible testimony! You are such a light–an expression of true faith that defies circumstances.

God bless you!

I can’t begin to imagine what you have gone through and how many tears you have cried. I know only moments of pain – and nothing like what you have gone through.

I remember sobbing with those uncontrollable cries when I was pregnant with my son and we were told he had kidney problems. I remember weeping and worrying as I waited for the perinatoligist’s appointment. And then waiting throughout the pregnancy and continuing to go for ultrasounds with the perinatologist, watching the kidneys and looking for signs of Down’s syndrome and picturing my son sick with kidney disease. (We hadn’t done an amnio and his kidney concerns were a marker for Down’s syndrome.) After he was born, ultrasounds showed that both kidneys were enlarged and I cried for three weeks while we waited for our appointment at Children’s hospital. But relief came for me at that appointment. Relief you never got to have. I feel guilty telling you that things have turned out so well for Jackson. My fears were not realzied and his kidneys, while large and one little oddly shaped, have performed perfectly. He is now one of the tallest four year olds you will ever meet. (We joke that maybe he just need to grow into his kidneys.)

The other time I wept those heartbroken tears was when I lay on the untlrasound table for a routine ultrasound of my next baby. Like you, the technician took too long and was too silent as I cheerfully chatted away about how excited my son was for a baby bother or sister. Fnially, after me asking her for a third time if my baby was ok, she told me that my baby had died a few days before. I was alone, lying on that table sobbing, trying to grasp that I would never get to hold or know my baby. But I was only at the end of my first trimester and so I did not have to do a delivery. I just had to wait until my body finally miscarried. It was horrible, but I am so comforted to know that my little baby is safe with God and we will meet in heaven.

I can’t imagine what you must face everyday and how strong you must be. What a blessing that you have such a wonderful family to support and help you with your other children as you go through this.

You are amazing. And I am so incredibly sorry that you and your family have had to face so much pain down here on earth. You will be forever in my prayers.