ETA: “Anonymous” has replied in my comments, yet I don’t have the energy to answer his/her questions so here is my challenge to each of you- write him/her back in my comments and answer his/her questions with your own answers, if you so choose. I trust that you will keep your dialog cordially civil :)

Then maybe you should feel honored to have cancer. If it’s God’s will for you to have it and all. Maybe there is no God and you’re just reaching for air castles and going through this life alone to have nothing but sleep on the other side.

I received this in my comments on “Trust and Cancer”, and wanted to reply to it individually. First of all, thank you “Annonymous” for taking the time to write me and ask this question. I can tell, by the way you asked it that you don’t believe in God, but I want to point out that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not just “reaching for air castles” :)

I do not feel “honored” to have cancer, I would gladly give up the horrible sleepless nights, the chemo, the loss of my hair and 6 weeks of radiation, the lack of energy and just plain feeling crappy for my old life…. and I don’t think that this is Gods PERFECT will for my life. It is his PERMISSIVE will, we gave up His PERFECT will when Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden. That is no longer an option for any of us, death is eminent for every single one of us. I feel “honored” that I got a wake up call and choose to live every day to the fullest… That is what I am thankful for :)

Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we’re proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. It started when God said, “Light up the darkness!” and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.
-2 Corinthians 4:6

I choose to look at cancer as a gift because it has caused me to completely give up control and depend on my Savior, 100%. It has brought me to my knees, where I should have been in the first place. It has brought my family closer, my friendships closer. It has given me a new and much needed reality check. That is what is a blessing in my life, that is what I feel honored to experience, that is why I choose to view cancer as a gift instead of a curse.

That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
-Romans 8:28

Something good has come out of all that I have been through. Look at this blog, look at all the people who faithfully read and pray for me. Look at the money that was raised to send me and my family to Mayo, if that isn’t Gods perfect hand in the midst of my families pain, I don’t know what is. This fight is all compassing, and down right hard, but to know that I am right in the middle of His grace and provision gives me strength to fight like mad to overcome.

God is definitely shaping me. He is definitely shaping my family. He is definitely shaping my husband and my children. I can’t tell you how many times I have asked the question “Why us, Lord, Why now” And everytime I ask, He gently pushes me deeper into his word, into His promises

As you can see, I’m about to go the way we all end up going. Know this with all your heart, with everything in you, that not one detail has failed of all the good things God, your God, promised you. It has all happened. Nothing’s left undone—not so much as a word.
-Joshua 23:14

Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.
Isaiah 43:2-3

And to your last question:
Maybe there is no God and you’re just reaching for air castles and going through this life alone to have nothing but sleep on the other side.

I know that he is real because I have a living miracle living under my roof (among other things). I have seen Him in my daughters life even before birth. I have witnessed every. single. doctor being blown away that she is here today, much less doing as well as she has done. That is just one example ;)

…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
-Philippians 4:11-13

And I will leave you with this, and thanks again for drawing out of me what I needed to be reminded of.

Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good.
He gets the last word; yes, he does.
1 Peter 5:10

By His Grace Alone,
-Heather

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